Trust me!

Current weight : 14st 12lbs
Holiday gain : 4lbs

Oh my, don't I look elegant...not!









So still a little pissed off that my lovely husband, inspite of going to bed every night with Rennie (that's not a girl btw) because he was so stuffed with food - full fried breakfast, hot dogs, pizza, burger, chips, puddings, cocktails, beer... - has put on ZERO pounds. When I weighed myself Wednesday morning I had put on 9lbs!! I guess mostly water and bloating as that figure is 5lb lighter this morning, yay..but still. Where is the justice? I think I have it figured out. So with all my yo-yo dieting my fat cells have been expanded and shrunk so many times that they are now like balloons, pour in a little extra fat, sugar, calories and out they pop like they've been there and done that (funny). Hubby has nice stable cells like footballs, pour in the extra calories and they get a little tighter but they push back, like wearing a girdle - no I have never worn a girdle but I have a good imagination!

Most of you know that I had a wee stupid incident when diving. Managed to get de-fogging soap in my eyes - and couldn't/didn't rinse for the half an hour whilst diving. Result - $900 doctor bill and very sore eyes that were swollen shut. The plus points - the doctor was gorgeous. I may have had my eyes shut but experience and a good antennae told me 'phwoar'. Bless, he even left the room when the nurse had to give me a jab in the bum, though I suspect this was more to do with it being close to dinner time and the sight of my big arse...., rather than his gentleman-ness. First night out, had to be led as I literally couldn't see. This shows great trust in my partner I believe as we didn't walk slow (this in itself is a miracle as anyone that knows me knows that I don't walk fast), no, off we marched. Not a single step, trip or bump! I must have looked scary - frightened all the kids away. Though I have to say, eating filet mignon without seeing is a pretty good experience. Enhanced the taste or something. Next night D'oh! sunglasses! A lady said I looked like a princess (think she was drunk). Not sure about princess, more like pop star - Stevie Wonder eat your heart out. No, you're right, ...more like Peters & Lee.

I have some bad news but I will leave it until next week when I know more (tissues ready - that's you - daughter & mother!)

This week I have learnt to be led by those you love and trust (Eugh pass the bucket). What I really learnt was don't put detergent into your eyes.

If life throws you lemons...drink G&Ts.

Disclaimer - it was an adult only resort.

Grenada sunshine

 weight gain : unknown but husband says lots!

This may seem like a strange photo but if you look closely you'll see the whicker pattern on the back of my legs - the reason the photo was taken lol. It amused my hubby.

Last night we were looking through all the holiday snaps thus far too select one for today's blog - nothing too boastful, nothing boring and something at least half relating to my blog - so a pic of my bum seemed perfect. We looked at a photo taken on our first night here and hubby said 'oh look, before you started eating'. Obviously I was like ' what the hell you trying to say that I've put weight on already?!'. His nonchalant reply ' saying it like it is'. I was gutted. But I know it's true in only 3 days I've ballooned. Very much reminds me when we first got the Wii fit. We all set up our Mii's mine with shoulder length brown hair and specs (that's how I looked then - likeness was uncanny). Then we stepped on the balance board to be weighed. My Mii took a good look around, confusion on her face, wiggled her bum and poof! Became a fat Mii! It was hilarious but at the same time devastating. And of course my Mii is still looking confused at her little puffed out body...I know how she feels. I too am confused.

Husband has matched me cocktail for cocktail, he's eaten until he's popped, he's chosen the fattening puddings the ice cream and chocolate cake etc. He's done the same amount of exercise - none. Has he put on weight? Has he? Has he?! No!!! Expect a weight gain of at least 8lbs people. It's poopy but it is what it is. Holiday is fantastic and I refuse to worry about lbs when I'm here. I will deal at home.

I've learnt this week that what I always suspected is actually true, I only have to look at food to put weight on! 

I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation, twice a year.

I broke a cardinal requirement

Current weight : 14st 8lbs
Weight gain this week : 1lb
Total weight loss : 3lbs














Just 2 days of not following my Jo-Jo plan and look at the damage! I had a trip to Edinburgh and it all went poo. Coffee & cake on the train, sandwich for lunch, 2 course hotel dinner, hotel breakfast, coffee & biscuits on my learning course, 2 course lunch on the course, curry & cake on the train home. So it's not so much what I ate (though there was plenty of pastry & cake) but that I broke the number 1 Jo-Jo stipulation 'Only eat when you are hungry, and stop when you are full'. Nightmare! I wasn't hungry I was greedy. That is the only word I can think of that fits with what happened. Presented with food....I ate it, Thank you very much. And now I'm sad cos I put on a lb.

OK, so I'm not 'that' sad. I is going on me holidays!! I thought you might like to see my new bikini. Nice, shame about the belly (and the thighs, and bum, and arms, and face...). So it is true. I am going away (some will say 'again') to the sunny (it bloody better be) caribbean island of Grenada. I is very excited. So I am promising you nothing. I will be drinking lots, especially cocktails - pina colada, Bob Marleys, frozen daiquiri, dirty banana etc etc. But I will try to only eat when I am hungry and to hit the gym occasionally. But I will promise you one thing, I will get straight back on to my Jo-Jo plan as soon as I get home!

And today I am booking another holiday (tee hee) skiing in January. But can you believe it?! I am NOT going!! Staying at home with teenage son preparing for his prelims. Sob....

This week I have learnt that a small hic-cup can have big consequences.

This weeks diet is next weeks body.

So far so good

Current weight : 14st 7lbs
Weight loss this week : 2lbs
Total weight loss : 4lbs
Fat : 46%
Fat loss : 0% - but it will come





OK well so far my plan is working. So if you remember I am combining 2 plans - shock, horror - on the left Joe Wicks 'Lean in 15' who is all about HIIT, carbs after exercise, less carbs when not exercising, and general healthy eating YUM. And on my right is Josie Spinardi 'How to Have your Cake and Skinny Jeans Too'. So Josie is all about (simplified) eating what you want, when you want, as long as you are actually hungry and you stop eating when you are full. Sounds a bit lame, But I honestly feel this has made the difference. I was terrified I would eat lemon meringue pie (my neighbour Mr B makes me awesome pie) with lashings of cream - but I haven't. The essential element that I can eat ANYTHING has taken away the bingeing, the eating in a cupboard, the eating standing up whilst balancing on one foot so the calories don't count. It has stopped. I've eaten less 'naughty' (that's a shame, that Frys Chocolate Cream never killed anyone (um well...maybe it did) but I don't know what else to call them but you know what I mean?) food in the past 2 weeks than I can remember. I don't feel I've sabotaged my whole weeks 'dieting' if I eat a biscuit. Anyway the two plans can both go hand in hand, to be known as, ongoing, The Jo-Jo plan (you get it? Like Yo-yo diet??)

Last week I started a spinning class. It was vile, horrible, horrendous, why are the seats so fucking uncomfortable torture, I'm never coming back its so bad! And I've been twice this week. I still think its an absolute awful class but I love it when its over. I welcome the pain in my legs as it distracts from the pain in my arse! And who the hell decided it was a good idea to squat whilst pedalling?!!! Anyhow I'm sure I'll continue. And just moan about it whenever I can.

This week I have learnt that things are happenng all around that you just can't see.

I did not fail, I succeeded in finding out what did not work.