Self sabotage

Weight today: 13 8
Loss this week: 1lb
Total loss: 1 11

So I self sabotage sometimes. I spent years desperate to lose weight whilst eating too much food - but we all know that. Something you might not know - I struggle with groups of people/friends, of more than say 3. I don't feel confident and worry that at least one of them doesn't like me. I then try to say something nice/funny/intelligent but I always get it so wrong and end up saying something bad/crass/stupid. But this isn't about me (this week at least) this is about you. What do you do to self sabotage? I bet there's something if you think about it. I need to be careful when I suggest examples as I don't want anyone to think I'm actually talking about them - I assure you I'm not. If you read something that rings a bell it is a coincidence.
Do you spend time with friends who actually make you feel bad? That drain your energy and make you depressed? Do you think you should bin them, and maybe just enjoy the company of people who make you feel great?
Do you wear clothes that make you look fatter or too skinny or too old and frumpy. Why don't you Go shopping and buy clothes that fit and are fun and colourful? You'll feel better I'm sure.
Maybe you get Hangry (angry when hungry) and be mean to your wife so she gets upset when she doesn't deserve it? (Ok this one isn't made up lol).
Anyway, what ever your Achilles heel think about whether it's in your power to change things. Small changes can have big impacts!

So look what I found this week (pic). Delicious dark chocolate presented in a perfect little mouthful. How divine!

I pulled out my suitcase of summer clothes the other day. It was very exciting and there was lots of 'ooh, I forgot I had that', but alas a lot of my clothes are still too small.  It was a shame really because I've just started to see that I'm making progress and my body is changing....But that I still have so far to go. Made me sad but I have been reminded that I have done well, and even though I have a way to go I will get there! They've gone back in the suitcase until next year! Next summer they will definitely be back out!!

Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out.

No...naked....jacuzzi!!

Weight on Wed : 13st 9lbs
Weight loss this week : 2½lbs
Total weight loss : 1st 10lbs

So this was my weight on Wednesday morning. Couldn't weight myself Thursday as I woke up in a pod and Friday morning I was at my mum's house. I thought about weighing myself this morning but surely mum's scales will be different to mine (and absolutely nothing to do with the below - honest gov).

So hubby and I have been celebrating our wedding anniversary this week. It's not till the end of April but hubby will be working then. We went to the Lily Pod and had a gorgeous time. Spent lots of it in the hot tub (see pic), eating (homemade pizza cooked in pizza oven) and drinking! It was so lovely. The owners have thought of everything and I can highly recommend it https://www.airbnb.co.uk/rooms/27287141?guests=1&adults=1 . There was prosecco, popcorn, fire pit, bbq, millions of fairy lights, candles and lanterns. And a plethora of food for breakfast! So romantic - and yes, I booked it not hubby lol. Then Thursday we popped to Norwood Hall for afternoon tea. And why not indeed?! It was delicious. And hardly any calories (ooh if only).

A friend messaged on my Facebook re my blog post telling me I should be proud of myself for my weight loss. And I replied 'I guess I am'. What a strange response! I think it's because when I  look in the mirror I only see the weight I still need to lose. I didn't see a difference. But, well, I've changed my mind. Yes, I've a long way to go but I have done well. And I am proud. And I think I can begin to see the slimmer me.  and yes I will get to target! Thank you. And thank you to you all for your kind words and messages.

We all know that your weight fluctuates massively. Depending on the time of day, the time of month, whether you've eaten a big meal, whether you've been to the loo (this one actually makes no difference - huge poo? - no difference) or if you're wearing clothes! But it's a lovely feeling to think I could now stand on the scales at the end of the day, after a roast dinner, wearing my coat and jeans and boots and I still wouldn't weigh what I did in January! Whoop whoop!!!

It doesn't matter how slow you go as long as you don't stop.

COMPETITION TIME : So imagine me saying  this weeks blog title in my bestest Geordie accent. First person to tell me (verbally or digitally) who first said it? (just first name is fine) When? (Year) And where? (Which  tv programme). Will win a chocolate Easter egg.**

** T&Cs - I am the judge and what I say is final, no arguing. The egg will be of my choice, size and brand. If you don't live close you may have a long wait as I'll not be posting it!! Competition closes 23:59 on Friday 19 April 2019. Happy Easter!!

Unfamiliar territory

Weight today : 13 11½
Weight loss 2 weeks : 2lbs*
Total loss : 1st 7½

I've been baking. They're supposed to be Easter nests but they just look like Easter mess. Hubby says they're delicious - obvs I've not had one myself....yet. Son says they're ok! charming, no more for him.

So away with my mate last week was rather good. Celebrating both our 50th (she's older than me - ha ha). And we've known each other 38 years - wow. Wow that we haven't killed each other!! But walking up to the water falls I realised that I was fitter than her. Now this was a very weird experience for me. Usually (aka always) it's me bringing up the rear. Out of breath and having to stop. This was a first, and I liked it. Just because it showed me how much I had improved. All the dog walking and the stairs at work (which I might add I am now running up - puffed at the top but hey, still running) are paying off. And it makes me want to continue! It was a nice feeling and certainly made a change.

Getting back onto plan has been relatively easy. The count down is now on, to my birthday but mainly my holiday. I am the proud owner of 2 new bikinis. I'm looking forward to trying on my summer clothes to see if anything fits that didn't last year. But before that - I'm hoping to lose another stone. I'm determined and trying hard. Please pray for me. Maybe that's not allowed? I'm not religious but I'm thinking praying is only for serious things like illness?

Oooh I almost forgot!! I have news! Drum roll please....I've stopped snoring! Well not exactly stopped stopped but I snore like a normal person! A little when lying on my back or after having a drinking session. How exciting is that?? I'm delighted. My mate last week  advised and hubby has confirmed!!

It's only failure if you stop trying. Today it's just experience!

* I couldn't weigh myself last Friday but on return from my trip I was 14 1 therefore I feel I've actually lost 4½lbs this week. Whoop lol xx

Silly Gilly

So I can't tell you my weight or a change as I'm not home. However, I can tell you that my fat percentage has dropped from 50% to 44%! So that's a good move. Much excitement for next week though as it'll be for 2 weeks not just the 1. Can you cope? I can't.

I am so dense sometimes. Brushing my teeth the other night I had a lightbulb moment. We've discussed here before that it's one thing losing weight but another keeping it off. I've already been told that your body tricks you, making you feel hungrier, releasing hormones to trap you. It can literally con you into eating fat and sweet foods. All because it desperately wants to get back to your previous fat weight. So I'm ready - when I get to target I am prepared for the battle facing me. But d'oh! I've lost 1½ stones already and my body has started to make a mockery of me already. It just didn't occur to me. I'm thinking 'when I get to target' but no...it starts now. With my busyness and relaxed diet recently by body has taken full advantage. That's why I've struggled the last couple of weeks! I've had the mega cravings I was warned about. I've been tempted to eat more than I should. How very rude! Why can't my body just be happy for me? You'd think it would like being healthier and happier and not sabotage what I've already done. I think it's poo. Losing weight is hard enough as it is!

So this week started with aplomb. My friends 50th - an intoxicating tea party with lush cocktails, cakes, meringue, cream etc. Then Mothers Day - both my children were home. Son cooked lunch (fried egg on toast) and daughter cooked dinner (full roast) with the odd glass of wine. Then I've spent 3 days in Callander with Geordie mate. That's included full Scottish breakfasts, prosecco, gin, afternoon tea. The works! Though we have walked a lot. In the rain and hail. Maybe next week I can get back to plan. Forewarned is forearmed?? No more trickery from Gilly. I've got her card marked!

Happiness is not out there. It's inside you.