What am I writing today?

Weight this week: the same
Holiday gain now: the same

I have literally run out of excuses. I should be back on plan but I'm not. I should have lost my holiday gain but I have not. I should be a gorgeous size 12 but I am not! So many expectations so many disappointments.

However, it's not just my weight loss that's on hold. I feel like my whole life is. What am I waiting for? What do I want? If I'm waiting until I'm 10 stones I will have a long wait. But that's the point. Don't put your life on hold just waiting. Waiting until you are slim? Waiting until you win the lottery? Waiting until you get a better job? Or meet that perfect partner? Or the sun comes out? Stop waiting and start living. Don't wait another day.

For those that don't know what I do - I help people with cancer. Get benefits, employment advice, housing advice, general advice. And my clients die. Every week. They die. It's sad, it's life (so to speak). Last week she was a 36 year old single mother. I helped her and I'm proud that I could. But please learn from my words. Go out today and do something you love. Don't know what you love? Work it out, try a few things, push yourself out of your comfort zone - nothing will ever grow there! Take chances, take risks. Feel the adrenaline, feel alive. Life is for the living. We're dead a long time!

Oh my! Too dark?? It's just the way I'm feeling today. But I believe what I say even if I don't practice what I preach lol.

A ship is always safe at shore, but that's not what it was built for.

Mobiles

Weight today: 13 10
Loss this week: zero
Holiday gain now: still 8lbs

As you can see from my lovely breakfast the other day it's not been a week conducive to losing weight. Lots of gadding about, eating and drinking and just busy. No excuse I know but it's the one I'm using! I absolutely have not managed to get back on to plan but I will. I So will because I'm unhappy and determined.

I've had some problems with my mobile phone. Long story short I was back in the shop. They took the SIM card out then couldn't put it back. So I agreed to leave it while I did my messages (some of the gadding about mentioned at the top). I wasn't expecting an important call or message so I thought even I could manage a few hours without it. Ha, who was I kidding. 1. I couldn't see the time on my watch without putting my specs on. This was highly annoying. I hadn't realised that I generally check the time on my phone, who knew? Well I do now! 2. I had a hospital appointment (don't worry - just immunology about my allergic reactions). I arrived a little early. Hospitals and doctors no longer have magazines in the waiting rooms. So I went to get my phone out my pocket to play a game (Block Puzzle if you're interested). Uh-uh! No phone. Sat bored and just read the posters over and over. Funnily enough all about weight loss ha ha. 3. I then had afternoon tea for one booked (don't ask why I went alone - long story). It was a Groupon deal and I hadn't printed off the voucher as it was in my phone! Bugger! Had to get my daughter to come to the hotel so I could log into my account on her phone! D'oh. 4. I then couldn't take a picture of said afternoon tea to annoy everyone on what's app showing off the lovely cakes etc. 5. Last but not least I didn't have my Morrison's loyalty card when I put fuel in the car! Not a biggy this one but still another reason why I really missed my phone!!

Right I promise you a weight loss next week!

One day your life will flash before your eyes, make sure it's worth watching!

Other views

Weight today : 13 10
Holiday gain now : 8lbs
Loss this week : 1lb

I think the picture says it all. (Ignore the fact my carpet needs hoovering). I'd had a couple of glasses of wine the other day and really fancied some chocolate. I normally have plenty of supplies for such emergencies, but the fridge was empty. Luckily my son is home from uni. And he has to pay his way somehow. So off he toddled to Asda. What a good lad. I was spoilt for choice. Obviously I didn't eat it all... in one sitting!

So a friend of mine posted on Facebook this week, and I found it very interesting. She'd read a post on her feed about a woman who had lost weight, going from size 12-14 to a size 6 and she shared an image of her body before and after. (I didn't see this original post so can't comment on the pictures per se. Nor can I comment on whether this new size 6 was appropriate for her build (a height of 4' 8" or 5' 10" makes a huge difference)). My friend (as an adult) could appreciate that this woman had lost weight sensibly and healthily and could understand how proud this person obviously was off her achievement. What worried my friend was the image and what it says to impressionable teenagers. That being thin is the be all and end all (my words not hers). That young people receive an onslaught of body images and may learn that this is the way we should all endeavour to look. And that when we don't, we are somehow sub-standard. I messaged my friend as I was curious as to whether it was the woman's ultimate size (a 6 is pretty small) or just the fact she posted her body image that worried her so much. (It was the posting of her image). My friend would have preferred if she had just posted about her previous poor eating choices and how she had made the decision to eat healthier. About how much better she felt with a healthier lifestyle. I completely understand where my friend is coming from. We hear all the time that children so young that they are still in primary school become obsessed with their body image, of 'dieting'. The obsession of selfies. And that anorexia affects younger and younger girls, and boys too! Now I too post images of my body. Of course my images are mostly of how overweight I look rather than how slim I look - but what's the difference? My friend doesn't care what size a person is and would like us all to concentrate on being healthy and strong and empowered. I agree. But (there's always a but) we can not forget that obesity is at epidemic proportions. That they now think it causes more cancers than smoking. Then the heart attacks, strokes, diabetes - I could go on but we know it already. I would like to think that if we all ate healthily and exercised the natural by-product would be no obesity! However we (by we I mean the government and health service and media etc) have been saying this for years and look at us! We are fatter than ever. I'm not sure that the soft approach works! It's a massive balance! Young people desperate to be thin no matter at what cost, and those that are fat and need the hard truths. I don't have the answer. Do you?? Maybe (and it is a maybe) becoming slim needs to be promoted because of the health benefits but let's face it (and I am guilty as sin) most dieters motivation is mainly the way they look, and the health benefits are a bonus. The health benefits are not so easily seen let's face it. Hopefully I won't get any obesity related illness but it's so hard to quantify! I can 100% see that I'll look so much better wearing size 12 jeans but preventing something that I don't have and might not ever have, even at my current size, is just so different - so shoot me, I'm just being honest, sorry. I'm pretty sure all my readers are adults so I'll not worry about my blog or my body image photos, for now at least.

Why did the nurse need to carry a red pen? In case she needed to draw blood!

Feel free to comment on this week's post. I will not be offended. Likewise I trust I've not offended any readers xx

50 ain't so bad

Weight today: 13 11
Holiday gain now: 9lbs
Lost: 2½

This week hasn't been the week for getting back onto plan - I've celebrated my birthday all week! It's been fantastic and I'd like to thank everyone for my birthday wishes, gifts and cards! You're all so kind and thoughtful. To spend time with my family (from Newcastle, Worcestershire, Portsmouth and Canada!, and of course here) and friends was a little overwhelming. I love you all. My favourite gift? Was a poo stick from the NHS for my bowel screening ha ha ha. The joys of getting older!

So I was trying to find an old friend on Facebook the other day. I've not seen her for almost 20 years and we've lost touch. A fortune teller in about 1988 told her we'd be friends always - not a very good fortune teller lol. Instead I found an old boyfriend, as you do. We broke up over 30 years ago!! I'm so tempted to message him just to say hi. I told my hubby and he simply asked just 'Why?'. And I really don't know why. Is it because I've had this birthday and I'm feeling old? Or is it my job - all my clients are sick and mostly terminal - and I think life is too short? Or am I just nosey? Obviously I read some off his posts, looks like he recently got married. Maybe his wife is a crazed, jealous bitch and will come after me with a pick axe? It's a can of worms. I finished with him for a reason (yes, I finished with him!) Though it made me sad. I was 18 years old and it was very much the dramatic emotions that only teenagers have - 'My life is over as I know it/I'll never love again/My heart is broken into a million pieces/I'll never get over him'. I'm going with the nosey option. I'm so very curious. But you know what they say...Curiosity killed the cat (but satisfaction brought it back). To be continued....

Right guys. Back on track now. The extra stone has made me very miserable and I've started to snore again!! I'll lose this extra weight (yet again) then on to the task of losing my next 3 stone! Oh boy oh boy oh boy.

Your ex? They're not friends and they're not enemies, they are just strangers with some shared memories.

The D-Day celebrations this week have been so moving. It's so important as we lose the last of that generation that the new generations never forget! We are nothing without our history! God Bless we owe you ask much.