New year

Yay! I've done it. I've finally done it. Whoop whoop! I've finally put all the weight back on that I lost at the start of the year! And just in the nick of time. Phew, just in time to start my diet at the start of the year and lose the weight all over again! Bloody great! My husband congratulated me when I told him. He said I'd worked hard and put in a lot of effort. Chocolate for breakfast? Tick. Puddings? Tick. Gin, prosecco, chips, crisps, ignoring gym? Tick, tick, tick. But I have to admit, it was no effort at all. Easiest diet ever. If you'd like to put on weight and need more details please PM me.

But let's not despair. Another year, another opportunity! Going into a new year (and especially a new decade, as this is) I like to reflect. What's gone right? What's gone wrong?

The good?
I started a great new job
I lost 2 stones
I turned 50
I had an amazing holiday in Jamaica
I've made new relationships
I've further bonded with some existing relationships

The bad?
I put on the 2 stones that I lost
I turned 50
I left great job (for good reasons)

The plain ugly?
I'm the same weight as I was and just as unhappy about it as ever!

Then of course there's New Year Resolutions. Like about 90% of the nation my top choices are 1. Go to the gym 2. Lose weight 3. Drink more water. And by 2 January I've forgotten them. This year I've decided to be different. This year my resolution is to have a daily mantra. And with thanks to Caitlyn Jenner on I'm a celebrity, I've picked 'Another day, another day to excel'. This is what I will recite 3 times every morning. Will I forget? Of course I will.

I'm just about to start my next new job and I'm very excited. This is a chance to start fresh. Get back on plan. Do some fasting and lose my excess weight. Hopefully for good this time as I can't keep doing this. If I've not lost weight by next Christmas just shoot me! I'm happy with 2019 leaving and 2020 coming! It makes me feel positive, excited and motivated. I can do whatever I want to do. I can be whatever I want to be. I can be the best me that I want to be. I can fast, and I can lose weight. I can embrace my new life and be the best employee. I can love and be loved. I can be tolerant, caring and nice. Nobody else can be the best me. It's all down to me, and me only.

Think about your 2019. What's your good, bad and ugly? What changes do you want to make? How can you be the best you?!

Be kind and polite, and the world will be right.
                                                                                 - Paddington Bear

In a flash

WARNING : DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 12.

So this time next week it will all be over! Ah man all the planning and spending and puff, it's done. But today? Today we can still look forward. I love Christmas especially the traditions and nostalgia! We still give the kids Xmas eve PJs, and we leave a drink (more likely cocktails rather than sherry, that we used to leave) and a mince pie for Santa. My children are adults but we still have stockings filled by F.C. Don't you love your own traditions? I do like to hear about what other families do.

Of course it's not quite like what it was like when I was young. For starters I tend not to hang out the window looking at the sky waiting to hear the sleigh bells. The stockings are more voluptuous now. I used to keep the satsuma in my 'Stash' to eat later, but on Xmas morning now everyone just puts them straight back into the fruit bowl! I have no need now to hunt the house trying to find gifts as it was me that hid them. And, of course, I never peek inside any of the presents under the tree (ok, I hardly ever do this anymore!). We didn't have Bucks Fizz when I was a kid but it's a staple now lol. We must get through 3 bottles of bubbly and that's before we've had breakfast. After all, that is why they call it a Merry Christmas!!

I went to my God-daughters Christmas concert this year. I was glad to see that it was at least a small part a nativity. First nativity in years. Do kids even know that Christmas is celebrated because of the birth of Jesus? I'm not religious and I don't believe in God, but to me it's important that the meaning off Christmas is continued. May be a fictional story but it does go back quite a few years.

But the very best thing about Christmas is seeing family and friends. We may not be able to spend the big day with them all but we catch up before and sometimes catch up after. People are happy and full of cheer! And I would like to wish every single one of you a very Merry Christmas, and enjoy your traditions and remember Xmas past! (It's been proven nostalgia is good for you. Read it in the Daily Mail so it must be true). Eat, drink and love!! Give lots of hugs and try not to fight!

Let's be naughty, and save Santa a trip!

Thank you for all the messages after last week's post. It struck a true cord for lots of you. I'm so glad you liked it. x

Men should look away now

Please note - contains swearing.

I'm afraid I've had a really horrible week. Now I know I've mentioned this before in the last few years of writing, but it happens regularly and needs another outing. PMT! Accompanied by very painful cramps. Now I thought this was what all women go through - but a friend has told me she not only didn't get pain but she doesn't believe she had PMT either (maybe I should ask her husband and family this?). But saying that I think a lot of you know all about it. Periods are great - when you want a baby, but not at 11 (when I started) or 50 (shouldn't it be the menopause by now?). For those people that don't suffer or don't have close family that don't really experience PMT  I think it's hard for them to understand how bad it can get. A bit like depression or food intolerance they think it's all a load of rubbish. But it is so not. In fact it's hell. I even think a woman got off with murder because she had it! I've certainly known relationships crumble because of it. My other half struggles big time! It's not just the pain, bloating, water retention, acne, chocolate cravings (one of mine), sleepless nights.... I could go on. For me it's the tears, feelings of helplessness, paranoia, low self esteem, utter misery. I've never missed work or had any real mishaps. Though my boss (female) was told never to accept my resignation at that time of the month lol. But I do know people who really struggle - I've seen my own niece so poorly with her periods she was vomiting. It's so easy for husbands/partners/children to feel so hard done to because they sometimes live with a hormone monster (yes, that's me). They can leave the room, go in the garden, go to work (stay at work and not come home until it's all clear) to get away from the rage, grumpiness, irrationality, crying, short temper etc but what about us women? Do you think we like feeling this way? Do we want to wake up and feel like the world is coming in? That we get cross over silly things? That we burst into tears and sob for no real reason? Trust me, we hate it. I hate it. I hate to need constant reassurance that I'm loved/liked/remembered. I know that these feelings are just caused by my hormones, but it doesn't help because at that moment in time they are very real. And the sad thing is I know I'll feel this way again (in varying degrees) in another 28 days. So if your wife/partner/ mother/sister/friend has bad PMT please just try to remember that whilst it's no bed of roses for you, it's even shittier for her! And all she might need is a hug or reassurance or a bit of patience. Don't be a pig and just walk away, remember she can't!

Anyway, on other more cheerful matters. There are no bloody other cheerful matters, I've got fucking PMT!! Have you not been bloody reading!!!

I like it when you smile. But I love it when I'm the reason.

DISCLAIMER : these are my views only and should not be taken as universal! We are all different and symptoms vary. Whilst this list is valid it is by no means exhaustive. Also - it might be worth asking (when it's not the time of the month) what might help. If you just wade in with a hug you might get kneed in the balls! Just saying like, as we girls are all different. That's what makes us special!

Stranger things

Believe it or not I have actually lost 2lb this week, since I decided to stop dieting! Of course lol. Though this is not the strange thing I was meaning. I've taken myself away for a little mini break. Me, myself, I and the dog! I really wanted to go to that fantastic spa establishment which is my second home aka Ragdale Hall. But I couldn't face the 7-8 hour drive at this time of year. I did think about Scotland's only residential spa but it's not even half the place that Ragdale is, and was the same cost! So I googled hotel spas that were dog friendly. And here I am, Carnoustie!

It was a bargain. I booked a couple of treatments. There's a pool and sauna and steam room (jacuzzi is bloody broken). We are right next to the beach, which doggy has loved. She doesn't want to leave! The room has a sea view. Last night I had dinner in the restaurant - my first Xmas turkey dinner. Tonight I found a Chinese takeaway - Chicken Chow Mein here I come! Before I arrived I did think it was a little strange to come away on my own, but now I'm here it's like, of course I have! I'll do it again!

Count down to Christmas! I've opened the tin of chocolates but I've also left them upstairs in the present room (my spare room). Every evening I run up the stairs with much glee, grab just 4 chocolates and that's me for the night! I've not once popped up for a second handful! It's worked for me! I feel very smug.

I have a date for my new job. 6 Jan! Really enjoying having December off but super excited to start work. My waters telling me it's going to be good. And my waters never lie - rarely lie!

You may have to fight the battle more than once to win it!