Everyone loves a bargain

 

I decided that since face masks were staying I'd see if I could find a silk one. Amazon, of course, came to the rescue. Each purchase also donated a meal to a child in the UK and in India. It's breathable material and soft, silky and a little bit lush. Although it's also a little bit warm. Might be handier in the winter - which is coming fast! 

I am such a slag for a bargain. The other day I only needed milk and kitchen roll. Morrisons had an offer for a 3 pack for £3! A bargain as a 2 pack was £3.50 (a little bit crazy). And I also had an extra points voucher on the app for farmers milk. So I went to Morrisons (taking the chance that I wouldn't buy anything else that I might happen to see - which is something I always do, annoyingly). So it is only an extra couple of miles but of course they had none of the kitchen roll or the right milk! What a waste of time - but I had to go that little bit further just to save a few pennies. But I did resist buying anything else (after my mate bet me I couldn't lol). Talking of being a sucker for a bargain I can think of at least 6 clothing items that I've purchased in a sale never to have worn... (Because they were bought in a size smaller than I am, d'oh)... Yet! 

Hubby took me to a nice hotel for the night (or rather I took him, well I dragged him). Things post covid are a little different. Obviously we all know about face masks and hand sanitizer but there's more. Paper cups and plastic cups in the room for your tea/coffee and water. No throws, cushions or other nice soft furnishings. Some furniture removed. Sit down breakfast - served with everything - juice, fruit, cereal, pastries etc as well as the cooked stuff as usual. No help yourself at all. It was fine though. Staff very busy serving of course. Dinner was good (risotto) - half price under the government scheme plus free prosecco and dessert (lemon tart for me). Nice time but just not the same as what we're used to. 

This was my second meal out. Had another half pricer on Monday with friends (garlic mushrooms on ciabatta then chicken fillets with chips). It's no wonder I'm struggling to get back into the diet! However I am not giving up and I will get back soon. I will! I keep trying, but eating is such fun. Much more fun that dieting! 

There is no planet b.

Diet disasters

 

So that's me with my sister's. I'm in the middle lol.

Well what a diet nightmare week! 

Firstly, I had a mental binge day. I just couldn't stop eating. I wasn't hungry and I wasn't bored. I was maybe feeling a bit low and I'm pretty sure I was trying to fill a big gaping hole. Obviously, food wasn't the way to go but I was blinded to it at the time.

Secondly, I then convinced myself I had diabetes. I thought my wee was smelling a bit sweet. One Google search later and I had diabetes. I asked my sister (a diabetes nurse) and the pharmacy for a wee stick to check my glucose levels. Though by the next morning I decided I had just imagined it all. And I certainly had no other symptoms. The worst thing is that even though one day I was really nervous that I had developed diabetes, the next day I ate my body weight in chocolate! I am utterly hopeless!

Thirdly, my phone brought up a 'on this day in 2012' photo. We'd gone to Ben Nevis and the pic was of me walking up a little bit of the mountain. Looking chubby and hot and worn out. Not a good look. I asked hubby if that's the way I look now. He said no, you're fatter now! Oh bloody great news! 

My dog is a diva! It was a lovely evening so we took a bottle of wine to share with next door in their garden. Libby came too, to see George. Everything George had, Libby wanted! If any of us made a fuss of George and gave him a pet, Libby would put her head between George and human and squeeze herself into the middle. Also George likes to steal things from the house and parade around the garden. This night it was a dustpan. Libby took it from him and she paraded around the garden instead. George got a huge lump of wood for the chimnea. Libby took it from him even though her little jaw could barely accommodate the log. Then she actually took a ball out of George's mouth!! So embarrassing. George is so laid back he's horizontal, which is just as well as Libby just helps herself! (It is quite funny to watch though).

Anyway I am really struggling to get back to plan, but I'm not giving up. Never will I surrender! Hopefully I'll have more encouraging news next week 😂

The reason people don't become what they want to be is because they are too attached to who they are.

Always involves food

 

So I weighed myself on my return from Newcastle. And yes I had gained but only 2lbs which is nothing compared to what I was dreading. 

How come when I was away, all my interactions with family and friends involved food? I've decided to share my week of food with you -

Monday, out with my mum and aunt (their first visit to a social space since March). Early dinner of prawn cocktail, seabass with roasted vegetables (epic) then, for me, I wanted a proper substantial pudding, so jam Roly poly with custard! Perfect for a summers day lol. And with the government scheme this 3 courser was £8.

Tuesday, sister and family. Indian takeaway. I didn't actually eat that much but took the left overs to my mum's for later. Later never happened though because I just continued to eat.

Wednesday, school friend. We went out for traditional afternoon tea. This was immense so I must clarify what I ate, and what I took in a doggy bag. Sandwiches - 2x salmon, 2x cheese savoury, 2x tuna, 2x coronation egg (I ate 3 sandwiches), cheese scone with cheese and grapes (I ate cheese and grapes), fruit scone work clotted cream and jam (no resisted this), brownie (ate this), rhubarb cheesecake (yep), toffee muffin (nope), hallumi with dip (yep), sausage roll thing (nope), mini bottle of strawberry milkshake (yum), cookie (yes), glass of prosecco (of course). Phew! That's a big tea.

Thursday with oldest friend (not oldest as age, oldest as in how long we've known each other), this was fine except for the absolutely delicious white chocolate and raspberry Ice cream lolly (that I took lol).

Thursday pm with mum and aunts, good old fish & chips. Lovely

Friday with dad and his wife, a strawberry and cream pastry - naughty, but nice.

Friday pm with old work mate. Lemon drizzle cake (this was just scrummy and the only thing that I would have eaten anyway no matter where I was lol).

So that was my week in food. You now appreciate that 2lb gain was acceptable? Since I got home I have tried to rein it in but I am struggling. I've watched the first episode of Michael Mosley's Lose a stone in 21 days. This is the plan that I've been doing. 800 calories is tricky, but I figure if I fail at 800 calories by going over a bit I'm still well under the 2000 calories recommended for girls! I have been reminded that this is for my health. I've added covid 19 to my list of horribleness I want to avoid by losing weight. We all have our own personal reasons, just keep trying everyone. I am.

Isn't it funny how life can suddenly shift. We all just get on with our lives from one day to the next. Sleeping, working, seeing friends, eating for months or years, not really thinking about it just doing it anyway. Then one day we wake up and Wham, things change. Dismissal, redundancy, divorce, bereavement, illness and life is suddenly very different. These events can be solo or shared with one or two people. They make you sit up and take notice. We think about life more. What we want, what we can or can't do, what we need? Covid has hit us all like this don't you think? We've all sat up and re-evaluated. Except this is something that we've actually shared with the whole wide world. The world will be sitting up and taking stock. Don't let this opportunity to think about your life and make the changes you want or need to do. For if you can't do it now, when will you? 

The mind replays what the heart can't delete.

This week

For the last few weeks my weight has been stable, although not losing, but this week I just feel like it's ran away with me. I'm staying with my mum so I can't weigh myself, and I haven't for quite a few days. I'll obviously find out once I'm home, but I have to say I'm nervous and sad.

In an attempt to prevent me having to write the above my sister took me out for a good walk. It was a lovely evening and we walked over 3 miles in about an hour. My dog loved it! It was a very pleasant step out, but the following day I buggered my toe (see pic) when it clashed with the fridge door. Now I can't get proper footwear on so walking like that again isn't happening. So alas I suspect it all went wrong.

Weight is a personal issue. I'm sure everyone knows how I feel about mine. But as a nation I'm not alone when I say that I think fat is not nice. I don't judge others but I do believe that everyone would look and feel better not carrying the extra pounds. I don't think we should all be skinny but who really thinks fat is good? Now this is just me, possibly warped because of my own dislike of my own body. Maybe if I felt more content in my own skin I wouldn't be so opinionated? I know that there are folk out there that really believes big is beautiful, but I'm not one of them. It makes me unhappy and I'm not looking forward to bad news when I finally step on the scales again.

I need to get back to the drawing board. Why is this so bloody hard? I'm walking through treacle. The government 50% off scheme isn't exactly helping? Who doesn't enjoy food more when it's a bargain? I've been out for dinner, coffee and afternoon tea - and this is just week one! Holy Moly, give me strength! 

Make peace with your past so it won't mess up the present.