Those of you who are observant might have noticed that I'm back to my original blog 'Gilly's weight loss journey'. I hope it doesn't cause any displacement. It's just for this week. I'd like to say it's because I've lost weight - but it's not! I really don't know what I'm writing this week but if I base it on my experiences this week then dieting is what it's all about.
So I told you that my daughter had given me a kind of anti diet book for Mother's Day - ' Just Eat It'. And I've been reading it. It's not about just eating anything you want whenever you want but it's clear that the author believes diets don't work. Which is sort of true. Diets can work in that if you follow the rules you can lose weight. Me and lots of others have dieted and lost weight. Bingo! The problem is that it's never (sorry, hardly ever) maintained. So there is a major fault with dieting! I've been doing it over 20 years and look at me. Fatter than ever. If diets truly worked I'd be thin. I need to get to the end of the book - intuitive eating, eating when hungry, stopping when satiated - until I know if it'll help, but I just can't shake the diet thing. This desperation (I'm not alone here) to lose the fat for good. In my head I think this time it'll be different. I'll work really hard to lose 5 stones and then I'll never put it on again. But there's bits of my brain that knows (well, pretty certain) that it's just shite. And whilst I'm so sick and fed up of dieting I just can't stop. I wish I knew the answer but I'll keep going as I am until I figure it out. I'm almost sure that I'll not be on my death bed happy that I spent my whole adult life worrying about my size! But I'm also almost sure that I'd be less likely to die if I was smaller! Argh...
Now I must tell you about a friend of mine who had a stomach by-pass in October. She went abroad and had a good experience. Nothing awful happened and she has now lost 5 stones (the exact amount I want to lose). I think she's been so brave to do this. I don't think I could but I think about it when I get so desperate it makes me sob! I'm so happy for her, she's completely tickled pink. But I'm also blind with envy. How I wish it were me! Is this the answer I seek??
"Sometimes I worry you'll all realise I'm ordinary" said the boy. "Love doesn't need you to be extraordinary." said the mole.
Look what my daughter's cat did. I only wanted a cuddle, but apparently she didn't!
