Ok then

 

I've spent all week hoping for a pound weight loss. On Sunday I had done it! Lost that pound and hit my 5 stone loss. Yay, I was so happy. The next morning it was back on. Then all the rest of the week nothing at all. I noticed yesterday morning that I was getting anxious. And when I hadn't lost this pesky pound I was getting pissed off, and I admit I wanted to hit the chocolate for breakfast - that was always an issue in the old days. Why is this pound so important? If I was measuring in pounds not stones I've lost 69, the year I was born. Yay. If I was measuring in kg (very popular nowadays) I've lost 31.2kgs - just a number. Whilst 11½ stone is maybe not my perfect weight its so much better than 16½ stones! I can't go back to wanting to eat chocolate for breakfast to punish myself for not losing weight. I stopped dieting because they don't work! I refuse to feel guilty about what I eat or drink. I absolutely will not label food good or bad! I'm sorry if I'm disappointing anyone but I'm proud of what I've done and unless I lose weight organically I'm just going to be content to have lost one pound short of 5 stone! Besides I'm far from perfect in other parts of my life so my weight loss may as well be imperfect too. I need to not sweat about eating as that's not good for me. I'm happy to continue to concentrate on protein and try to mainly eat healthy foods but I'm not kicking myself in the arse because I'm not a perfect size 12! I don't know anything anymore but I AM GOOD ENOUGH! I'm just having a hard time at the moment, I'll be fine again soon. 

I also fell up the stairs at work yesterday! My shin landed on the concrete step and it hurts. That is a picture of the lump (it's not my knee). Ouch. I reckon some huge bruise will develop soon.

I've been exercising. Getting ready for ski season. It's been like 5 years since I've been on the slopes and I'm excited to know how it feels being lighter and more flexible. But I'm nervous too. It always made me nervous even though I first learnt about 20 years ago lol. Its like riding a bike though, I'm sure I'll be grand. And the apres ski makes it all worth it! Whoop whoop or should I say shwoop shwoop. 

Don't let yesterday take up too much of today.

Drat

 

I was so sure that I'd lose that pound and hit the 5 stone loss this week, but alas no. I'm running round chasing it with my tail between my legs. Trying not to get disheartened - but it's hard not too. My weight has stalled for far too long now and it's rubbish. 

On a positive note I've been back on the cross trainer and I've been doing yoga with Ellie as my extra, 'suggested' exercise! Walking hasn't much featured but I've been working most days except last Sunday and we've had snow. Which is no excuse but I'm using it anyway. I googled 'how to dance like Footloose' but I just got line-dancing tutorials. I then YouTubed the video to the song and it entailed a lot of somersaults and back flips! So that song is binned. I'll stick with U Can't Touch This and see how I get on.

I have a new Japanese word - ikigai. It means having a sense of purpose to aid healthy aging. And the Japanese think it also helps ward off dementia. It makes perfect sense to me. Without a purpose you could just fade away, there's no passion to keep you here. At the moment my passion is my family and my purpose is to lose weight. Do you think that's purpose enough? We could narrow it down to learning a funky dance and losing one little pound lol? 

After last week's pictures of me before and after it was suggested that a needed a clearer after picture so I decided it was time for a new knicker shot. I'm not sure if you can see the loose skin but I've covered with it. Mostly it doesn't really bother me, except for my bum. I've completed lost my arse and the skin just hangs down like an Austrian blind. A bottom implant is needed! The after was taken this morning and the before was just days before my op. 

A perfect marriage it just two imperfect people refusing to give up on each other.

Holy moly

 

We've been away. Best part of a week at the Hideaways near Dundee. I don't want to brag but I will anyway. Just relaxing, going in the sauna and hot tub, a tiny bit of shopping. Long may it continue - Seems this year is going along the same path as last year, we have something booked for every month of the first half. I'm a lucky, lucky lady.

I had false eyelashes put on before my holiday in Lanzarote. What a difference it made to my face. And they lasted a whole month, I just pulled them off on Sunday and I just look weird now. My natural eyelashes are only about 4mm long - compared to Isaac who has 10mm! And the fake ones are the shortest they do but they transform me and I love it. Who would have guessed the impact. I need them again, soon! It's formed part of my transformation though it's organic - I've not sat down with a list. My weight loss has made such a change to my life. I'm dressing smarter, I'm wearing lipstick more. All the tiny things add up.

This picture above left, was me in May last year just a couple of weeks before the surgery. It popped up on my phone the other day and I simply couldn't believe my eyes. Did I really look so large? I was shocked to say the least, and repulsed at the same time. I need to lose a little more though, see picture right. I need to concentrate harder. This week away involved too much booze, crisps, nuts and chocolate. Though it was lovely. Starting now I'll be finishing January dry. Hopefully it'll help. Need to get the magical 5 stone loss at least. Just back today so no chance to weigh myself but I'll let you know next week.

I had another NSV this week though. We have an Aga, which has a long oven, and the Aga oven gloves go all the way up to my elbows. Previously I couldn't get them on especially when wearing long sleeved clothes but now the go on easily - even if I'm wearing a sweatshirt etc. It's delightful. I love it. 

Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.

Kuchisabishii

 

Happy new year everyone. May all your wishes come true in 2024! 

I'm so tantalisingly close to my 5 stone weight loss. Lost one pound this week so only one pound to go! Please let it be next week.

So I've borrowed this word from a friend - kuchisabishii. It's a Japanese word meaning when you're not hungry but you eat because your mouth is lonely. This is just the most fabulous word and describes me to a T. Or at least it used to. I couldn't put my finger on it. I knew I didn't really eat due to boredom or upset. It wasn't really emotionally led. But it was something and my mouth being lonely just seems so right some how. 

Obviously on Hogmanay I did a little reflection. 2023 was quite a year. We lost our gorgeous fur baby Libby very early in the year - another week and it'll be the first anniversary of her passing. I still miss her and sometimes shed a few tears. She was just so adorable and taken too soon. Then a few weeks after her death we lost our loyal cat of 15 years, Bumblebee. So sad to lose two pets in such a short space of time. However, we brought our new sweetheart, Bella, home in May. She's still a pup but growing into a lovely dog. She has big shoes to fill. 2023 marked the return of the overseas holiday for Mark and I. Lockdown was a big pause for going abroad, so it was fantastic to get back to sunshine and cocktails. We went to Turkey, Madrid and Grenada. We also continued with the staycation, going to the Hideaways a couple of times, Achmelvich, Pitlochry and Newcastle. And of course I travelled to Latvia to change my life. Would you say losing 5 stones has changed my life? Maybe not exactly but it's certainly changed my outlook on life and therefore I'd safely safe it's changed me, for the better. And I'm so happy! 

Talking of my weight loss I've had another NSV (non scale victory) - I'm not napping nearly the same. In fact I hardly ever fall asleep on the sofa. Before my surgery I was often having 40 winks curled up under a blanket. I think my sleeping is just better quality, now my throat doesn't close up. That'll do it! 

If you want to fly you have to give up what weighs you down.