Controversial

I keep this blog all about me! Me, me, me. That's because it's not fair talking about others on this format. Usually, when I do, I ask permission first. The obvious exception is talking about my husband. It was in our wedding vows that I'm allowed to slag him off, moan and be generally negative about him whether verbally or written, in any format I choose. Which brings me to a funny story. I was watching The Good Doctor about an autistic doctor who has just moved in with his neuro typical female friend. She likes the toilet roll to go down the back of the roll and he wants it over the front. As you know, Mark calls me a psychopath for putting the rolls so they hang down the back. I showed him this part of the programme. The friend saying it's just personal choice and the doctor being clear that it's not choice, it's just wrong! He even goes into the loos at the hospital to take photos - because they must be professional toilet roll putter-on-ers. Mark and I laughed, a lot. 

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, so I also don't write about anything in the media, in politics etc, or share my views about anything that could cause offence or be controversial. Today is the exception. The Andrew previously known as Prince being arrested and all that, and the chat on the news about taking his succession to the thrown from him. I don't care one way or another but all I'm going to say is that Prince Harry literally walked away from the royal family and resigned from his royal role so shouldn't he been taken out of the succession!? Just saying. 

I bought this lovely spring wreath for my door. It's an artificial thing but it's pretty and I like it. Mark has only seen it from the back through the glass and all I got was "What the hell is that?" He's such a joy. 

Not really shifted the 2lb gain. It kind of fluctuates a bit but I need to remove it properly, as soon as I am able. Don't be under any illusion that I'm immune to putting lots of weight back on. Many people do after bariatric surgery so I need to be mindful cos I ain't going back! Over my dead body will I be anywhere as near as fat as I was. I like me so much better this way. 2lb be gone!

Sleep is also so much better. Not had a tablet for nearly 2 weeks and my sleep is of a higher quality if still a little short. I do cheat sometimes and go to bed around 11pm (I always get up at 7.30 am no matter what, which is the important bit) and it's not been detrimental to the plan so I'm very happy. Sleep should never be underrated! 

Have a great weekend everyone. Do something exciting, even if that's just buying a new packet of biscuits to try. Life is too short not to try the exciting biscuits.

Don't make perfect the enemy of good. 

Two!

My diet has been rubbish recently and I've put on 2 lbs! Shock horror! My excuses reasons are obvious. Mark's birthday celebration in a hotel with booze, snacks and hotel breakfast. Then my FiL's birthday with pizza. Followed by Valentine's Day and not one, but two Asda meal deals (really good value) full of UPFs though. AND me endeavouring to stay up until 12.30am! My main meal is usually 5.30pm so that's another 7 hours before bed and I get hungry and therefore snack! On top of all this is the fact that not getting enough sleep makes you snack on the sugar! No wonder I've put weight on. Though I will admit it felt very weird as this is pretty much the first time in nearly 3 years that I've put weight on. Holidays have seen wee temporary increases but this feels more permanent, or at least it will be if I don't take action. It's such a shame that I'm addicted to KitKat's just now! 

The 7 hour bed window is working though. I'm getting to sleep quicker, staying asleep and, most importantly, I feel it's quality sleep! I've not had a pill all week which means I'm not walking around like a zombie all day! I feel so much better. 

I missed strength training again this week (no 3). Anna couldn't manage but I was very much planning on going myself. But (there's always a but) I got home from work, sat down to eat and the enthusiasm seeped out of my bones. The sofa was at risk of floating away so I needed to keep it grounded. And I was desperate to finish my Netflix drama which was so good. I promise, with our without Anna, I'll be there next week! I really disappointed myself though. Which is worse than letting other people down isn't it. 

Picture this week is my silly cat sitting in the plastic tub I throw my tea towels in waiting to be washed! 

Have a great week. And the Netflix drama was called 'Unbelievable' and was excellent. Very much recommend. Bye for now x

What doesn't bend, breaks.

My memory

 

Quick sleep update - going into week 3 of my sleep app program I've had to do 'restrictive' sleeping. Based on my sleep diary of the previous 2 weeks the app calculated that I can only sleep for 7 hours this week. So because I want to get up at 7.30am I can't go to bed until 12.30am! I can't do anything in bed except sleep therefore I can only be in bed for 7 hours. Going to bed after midnight is pretty tough but I'm determined. The first night was not great. No meds that night and it took me ages to fall asleep so I was knackered but it's getting easier. This 7 hour window isn't permanent, it will grow. I'll keep you posted. 

The picture this week is Mark's birthday cake. Victoria sandwich sandwiches! They were good and I was chuffed with the design. The appearance of my cakes is normally my down fall, but these were canny.

I've mentioned my appalling memory many times but today I'm going to try to explain it to you, just because I want to and to stop the gas lighting! I know what I've forgotten or what I haven't forgotten. For example, if my boss asks me to email such and such I either do it immediately or I write a note to remind me. If I forget and my boss asks me again I'll remember that I was asked but forgot. Now if you ask me what I bought my bestie for Christmas last year and I've forgotten then I have really forgotten. She might say it was a sweater and I'll be like "oh a sweater, I don't remember that" and it was a sweater. But if she says it was Watch and I know it wasn't a watch - even though I don't remember what it was then I will know that it wasn't a watch. Even though I don't know what it was but it definitely wasn't a watch, I will be right! It's complicated but I hope you get a grasp of what I'm talking about. I know what I don't remember. 

Had a night away for Mark's birthday. Meldrum House hotel was very nice. Nice quirky room, lots of space with a big comfy bed. We had fun, I enjoyed a few drinks (my only alcohol for ages) and Bella had a great time too. 

Have a lovely week and see you next Friday xx

What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while. 

Work

It's rained for a month so I thought I'd just post a nice, sunny holiday picture to cheer you all up.

I don't want to bore you but I'm sure you'd like a quick update on my insomnia. It came to a head on Friday when that feeling off wanting to weep made me actually cry. I spoke to my GP who prescribed me some pills as a temporary patch, he suggested I try the app Sleepio which is a 6 week sleep programme and he sign-posted me to psychology. The meds do help me sleep but also make me feel pretty groggy and 'drugged'. The app, I think will be helpful, at the moment I'm just logging my sleep daily (though this figure is artificial due to the meds). I've contacted psychology but nothing happened with that yet. Obviously a waiting list and I'm not convinced it will help, only because I don't believe anxiety is my problem here. Fingers crossed things improve. 

At work things have been difficult. Having to concentrate when feeling so thick-headed is tricky. My boss has been great, giving me time to get to a quieter place and doing jobs that need less brain function. I'm blessed. 

Now, I feel it's also my job to tell you how annoying my husband can be. (Don't worry, if he wrote a blog it would be full of how annoying I am - but he doesn't and I do.) I don't generally share annoyances about other people (I'm not that rude... Usually). And think about it, everyone in your life annoys you sometimes, don't they? I love my family, including my big sister. Now this annoyance really made me laugh, and if you know my big sister I'm sure you'll agree too (can you tell I'm nervous? Lol). She's a diabetic nurse and therefore an encyclopedia about sugar and carbs. And she lives by her word. The other day I was shopping for Ribena (love it hot) and asked her whether full sugar or sugar free was best. She came back with "fizzy water with berries?" No! No! And No! Ha ha I mean she's absolutely right, but no! 

Mark might annoy me but I've really missed him this last 2 weeks and I can't wait for him to come home tomorrow. It was his birthday Wednesday (he's always away snowboarding on his birthday) so we're having a nice night away to celebrate. I won't be having my sleeping pill that night as they are taken sans alcohol, and a glass or two of something will be had. Whoop whoop. 

Have a great week and I'll see you next Friday.

It's not about making right decisions. It's about making decisions right.