What a week!

Get a cuppa, make yourself comfy, today's post is going to be a long one.

Last Thursday I packed for my weekend away, all the important things - clean knickers (I have been known to forget them), snacks and a bottle of wine. At the last minute I decided to take my purse (it usually stays in my work bag), but I had a little cash I thought might come in handy. 

That night I slept at Ellie's. She has a great blow up bed! Plug it's in and up it goes in seconds, it's about two foot deep and very comfy. Alas, it felt like I was lying on a block of ice! After a few hours of frozen feet and not sleeping I dragged myself up and got a bowl of hot water to stick my toes in. I put a towel and blanket on the bed under me, wrapped up in Ellie's cosy dressing gown and had a duvet and thick blanket over me! Half an hour later my feet were freezing again and I didn't sleep. Of course the best bit is that they following night in the hotel the bed was blissful and I slept like a log. 

We got coffee at the train station Friday morning. I booked my Scotrail ticket through my LNER app. There was no QR code just a reference to go to a machine. I needed my credit card, which I only had because I'd picked up my purse at the last minute. Ellie then asks if I have my driving licence. What for? Do'h for ID for the flight. Good grief, it's in my purse! Someone was looking after me! Then, downloading my boarding pass I noticed I'd booked my flight in the name of Gilly, and of course my licence is Gillan! Nooooo. Can you believe that not a single person at the airport looked at my ID. Wow. 

The play we saw 'Woman in Mind' was ok, but a bit weird. The Malmaison was nice and we had a couple of great cocktails, and breakfast was fab. 

We landed at Birmingham just as hour before Mark appeared off his flight, great timing. At my nephew's birthday event we played The Traitors. I was a traitor, and won the game with another traitor. How on earth this happened I have zero idea. When 'Claudia' tapped me on the shoulder to select me I let out an enormous scream! This did not go unnoticed yet I managed to not get voted. I also kept putting my foot in it when saying 'we' when talking about the traitors. I was truly terrible! 

That night Mark was up all night with sickness and diarrhoea. I slept through most of it which was just as well as Sunday morning he really just wanted to get home. Once we were happy the vomiting had stopped, and I got some Imodium for extra insurance, I drove him home. 8½ hours - not too bad considering we stopped twice for wees (just me - Mark drank not a drop of water in case the spewing started again), lunch (again, just me - no way he was trying any food) and fuel (the car!). I was gutted to miss a Mother's Day roast dinner at my sister's but hubby was very relieved to be home. He was totally fine the next day, by the way. Oh, and we had some amount of rain too. Next to Preston the heavens opened at biblical proportions! The motorway was a river and the visibility was so poor all the rear fog lights came on. 

Tuesday at work I made my delicious (even if I say so) Baileys cheesecake for 32+ service users at work, for St Patrick's Day. It (three big ones I should say) went down very well. It was great fun. 

Well after that exhausting week I am finally having a day to sit and relax. Have a great week and I'll see you next Friday. Woo hoo!

P.S. I've been meaning to tell you for ages - I lost that pesky lb. Back to my normal weight again!

Life is what happens when we are making other plans. 

Fruit platter

At work this week we had little kiddies over from the local primary school, to sing and dance for the service users. At half time we offered them plates of fruit, and what was left was offered to me. I had a great platter of all sorts and was excited. I put it on my desk, but obviously not properly because it promptly fell off, upside down and the fruit went everywhere and I let out a little swear. I was gutted especially as the raspberries and blueberries were so delicious! This is Anna 'helping me' to clean it up as I was too busy taking photos for this blog! Lol. Thanks Anna.

Had the best day ever yesterday. My colleague, Kelly, organises a monthly community event called Boogie in the Bar. Have I mentioned it before? Free to anyone and especially those in need - care homes and elderly, folks living alone etc. We offer hot drinks, sandwiches and biscuits. This month's theme was St Patrick's Day. The hall was decorated and we wore those big hats, the band played some Irish ditties too. The bar was busy so I helped Anna, yes the Anna from the paragraph before. First time in almost 3 decades that I've pulled a pint. I still have it though! Enjoyed the afternoon so much. I recon I could get a part-time job in a pub! Loved it! And the hall was full, near capacity. Kelly does the most amazing job! 

Today I'm in Glasgow with Ellie. We've got the theatre tonight.'Woman in Mind' with Sheridan Smith and a nice stay over in Malmaison. We're going to have a great mother daughter stay celebrating Mother's Day. Then Saturday morning we fly from Glasgow to Birmingham. It's my nephew's 30th birthday - Happy Birthday James. Mark is also flying back to Birmingham after his snowboarding week in France. Then we'll drive back up the road Monday. Just a lovely few days with family. Feeling blessed. 

Have a great week everyone and thank you for reading.

Healing doesn't mean the pain never existed. It means the damage no longer controls our lives. 

Sausages

I'm sat in Thaikhun waiting for Ellie. I have a cocktail as you can see. I'm not driving so had to be done really. 

I've lost one of my pesky lbs. Just another to go and then I'll be a happy Gilly again.

You'll all be delighted to hear that my 6 week sleep program has come to an end. My sleep efficiency started at 46% and is now 92% which is amazing. I've started to go to bed at a much more reasonable time and am getting to sleep pretty quickly so I think I'm now getting between 7½-8 hours a night which is magic. I feel super tired come bed time but I guess that's a good thing. And I've not had a sleep pill for a three or four weeks! Good grief, I feel so much better now! 

I've been having lots of thoughts and plans about our move to Newcastle. It's scary but not trying it is more scary. I feel such a feral pull to go home. I need to be with my mum. Life is so short don't we have to just do what we need to do. Waiting is for losers! Let's just sort the logistics and be on our way. 

I missed strength training again. Ellie has just given me a right telling off. Anna couldn't manage so I just let that be my excuse to stay home. Though that's lame and no excuse really. I need to be more determined or I'll be a cripple when I'm older (Ellie's words not mine lol - a bit dramatic I think but she's sure lol). 

Tonight we are going to The White Company (shop) for an event. Fizz and snacks and discount. Ellie has already told me she's not buying me anything tonight, for mother's day. So rude! Having a sleepover at her flat which will be fun.

Short and sweet today. Have a great week and see you next Friday.

Don't give up your power by thinking you don't have any. 

Controversial

I keep this blog all about me! Me, me, me. That's because it's not fair talking about others on this format. Usually, when I do, I ask permission first. The obvious exception is talking about my husband. It was in our wedding vows that I'm allowed to slag him off, moan and be generally negative about him whether verbally or written, in any format I choose. Which brings me to a funny story. I was watching The Good Doctor about an autistic doctor who has just moved in with his neuro typical female friend. She likes the toilet roll to go down the back of the roll and he wants it over the front. As you know, Mark calls me a psychopath for putting the rolls so they hang down the back. I showed him this part of the programme. The friend saying it's just personal choice and the doctor being clear that it's not choice, it's just wrong! He even goes into the loos at the hospital to take photos - because they must be professional toilet roll putter-on-ers. Mark and I laughed, a lot. 

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, so I also don't write about anything in the media, in politics etc, or share my views about anything that could cause offence or be controversial. Today is the exception. The Andrew previously known as Prince being arrested and all that, and the chat on the news about taking his succession to the thrown from him. I don't care one way or another but all I'm going to say is that Prince Harry literally walked away from the royal family and resigned from his royal role so shouldn't he been taken out of the succession!? Just saying. 

I bought this lovely spring wreath for my door. It's an artificial thing but it's pretty and I like it. Mark has only seen it from the back through the glass and all I got was "What the hell is that?" He's such a joy. 

Not really shifted the 2lb gain. It kind of fluctuates a bit but I need to remove it properly, as soon as I am able. Don't be under any illusion that I'm immune to putting lots of weight back on. Many people do after bariatric surgery so I need to be mindful cos I ain't going back! Over my dead body will I be anywhere as near as fat as I was. I like me so much better this way. 2lb be gone!

Sleep is also so much better. Not had a tablet for nearly 2 weeks and my sleep is of a higher quality if still a little short. I do cheat sometimes and go to bed around 11pm (I always get up at 7.30 am no matter what, which is the important bit) and it's not been detrimental to the plan so I'm very happy. Sleep should never be underrated! 

Have a great weekend everyone. Do something exciting, even if that's just buying a new packet of biscuits to try. Life is too short not to try the exciting biscuits.

Don't make perfect the enemy of good. 

Two!

My diet has been rubbish recently and I've put on 2 lbs! Shock horror! My excuses reasons are obvious. Mark's birthday celebration in a hotel with booze, snacks and hotel breakfast. Then my FiL's birthday with pizza. Followed by Valentine's Day and not one, but two Asda meal deals (really good value) full of UPFs though. AND me endeavouring to stay up until 12.30am! My main meal is usually 5.30pm so that's another 7 hours before bed and I get hungry and therefore snack! On top of all this is the fact that not getting enough sleep makes you snack on the sugar! No wonder I've put weight on. Though I will admit it felt very weird as this is pretty much the first time in nearly 3 years that I've put weight on. Holidays have seen wee temporary increases but this feels more permanent, or at least it will be if I don't take action. It's such a shame that I'm addicted to KitKat's just now! 

The 7 hour bed window is working though. I'm getting to sleep quicker, staying asleep and, most importantly, I feel it's quality sleep! I've not had a pill all week which means I'm not walking around like a zombie all day! I feel so much better. 

I missed strength training again this week (no 3). Anna couldn't manage but I was very much planning on going myself. But (there's always a but) I got home from work, sat down to eat and the enthusiasm seeped out of my bones. The sofa was at risk of floating away so I needed to keep it grounded. And I was desperate to finish my Netflix drama which was so good. I promise, with our without Anna, I'll be there next week! I really disappointed myself though. Which is worse than letting other people down isn't it. 

Picture this week is my silly cat sitting in the plastic tub I throw my tea towels in waiting to be washed! 

Have a great week. And the Netflix drama was called 'Unbelievable' and was excellent. Very much recommend. Bye for now x

What doesn't bend, breaks.

My memory

 

Quick sleep update - going into week 3 of my sleep app program I've had to do 'restrictive' sleeping. Based on my sleep diary of the previous 2 weeks the app calculated that I can only sleep for 7 hours this week. So because I want to get up at 7.30am I can't go to bed until 12.30am! I can't do anything in bed except sleep therefore I can only be in bed for 7 hours. Going to bed after midnight is pretty tough but I'm determined. The first night was not great. No meds that night and it took me ages to fall asleep so I was knackered but it's getting easier. This 7 hour window isn't permanent, it will grow. I'll keep you posted. 

The picture this week is Mark's birthday cake. Victoria sandwich sandwiches! They were good and I was chuffed with the design. The appearance of my cakes is normally my down fall, but these were canny.

I've mentioned my appalling memory many times but today I'm going to try to explain it to you, just because I want to and to stop the gas lighting! I know what I've forgotten or what I haven't forgotten. For example, if my boss asks me to email such and such I either do it immediately or I write a note to remind me. If I forget and my boss asks me again I'll remember that I was asked but forgot. Now if you ask me what I bought my bestie for Christmas last year and I've forgotten then I have really forgotten. She might say it was a sweater and I'll be like "oh a sweater, I don't remember that" and it was a sweater. But if she says it was Watch and I know it wasn't a watch - even though I don't remember what it was then I will know that it wasn't a watch. Even though I don't know what it was but it definitely wasn't a watch, I will be right! It's complicated but I hope you get a grasp of what I'm talking about. I know what I don't remember. 

Had a night away for Mark's birthday. Meldrum House hotel was very nice. Nice quirky room, lots of space with a big comfy bed. We had fun, I enjoyed a few drinks (my only alcohol for ages) and Bella had a great time too. 

Have a lovely week and see you next Friday xx

What you do every day matters more than what you do once in a while. 

Work

It's rained for a month so I thought I'd just post a nice, sunny holiday picture to cheer you all up.

I don't want to bore you but I'm sure you'd like a quick update on my insomnia. It came to a head on Friday when that feeling off wanting to weep made me actually cry. I spoke to my GP who prescribed me some pills as a temporary patch, he suggested I try the app Sleepio which is a 6 week sleep programme and he sign-posted me to psychology. The meds do help me sleep but also make me feel pretty groggy and 'drugged'. The app, I think will be helpful, at the moment I'm just logging my sleep daily (though this figure is artificial due to the meds). I've contacted psychology but nothing happened with that yet. Obviously a waiting list and I'm not convinced it will help, only because I don't believe anxiety is my problem here. Fingers crossed things improve. 

At work things have been difficult. Having to concentrate when feeling so thick-headed is tricky. My boss has been great, giving me time to get to a quieter place and doing jobs that need less brain function. I'm blessed. 

Now, I feel it's also my job to tell you how annoying my husband can be. (Don't worry, if he wrote a blog it would be full of how annoying I am - but he doesn't and I do.) I don't generally share annoyances about other people (I'm not that rude... Usually). And think about it, everyone in your life annoys you sometimes, don't they? I love my family, including my big sister. Now this annoyance really made me laugh, and if you know my big sister I'm sure you'll agree too (can you tell I'm nervous? Lol). She's a diabetic nurse and therefore an encyclopedia about sugar and carbs. And she lives by her word. The other day I was shopping for Ribena (love it hot) and asked her whether full sugar or sugar free was best. She came back with "fizzy water with berries?" No! No! And No! Ha ha I mean she's absolutely right, but no! 

Mark might annoy me but I've really missed him this last 2 weeks and I can't wait for him to come home tomorrow. It was his birthday Wednesday (he's always away snowboarding on his birthday) so we're having a nice night away to celebrate. I won't be having my sleeping pill that night as they are taken sans alcohol, and a glass or two of something will be had. Whoop whoop. 

Have a great week and I'll see you next Friday.

It's not about making right decisions. It's about making decisions right.