So. how did I get so fat?

Current weight : 14st 9.5lbs

Fat : 46%

Lost : nothing, nada, big fat zero (no pun intended). Anyone else bored with this figure (pun intended that time lol)











So it's not like I eat very much, and I'm careful around fattening foods but I do have a slow metabolism, and unfortuately I inherited the fat gene from my parents, oh and yes, I have heavy bones.

Uh-uh bollocks! Absolute shite. I eat far too much, I love 'fattening' foods, and don't exercise as much as I should. Is there even such a phenomina as 'slow metabolism'. To get a bit sciency my metabolism will be faster than ever as I'm carrying 5 stone extra on my back - think medium sized child. No one in my family are fat. Not just thinking about my parents or siblings, but grandparents, children, aunts and uncles. No One! I have a lovely cousin who can probably empathise with what I'm going through, though he has recently lost weight through a boot camp and looks amazing. He's even running the Great North Run next month. I'm trying to catch him up (no silly, not in the GNR race! With his great weight loss.)

So as you can see from the lovely pictures I was a normal size kid. That's me with the short skirt and long legs aged about 6. I think I went on a sponsored diet aged about 21, and if my memory serves me right I weighed 10st 2lbs! God how I wish I weighed that now (sorry, bare with me, just crying into my keyboard). I lost half a stone and raised lots of money for the local hospital - yay go me!

The next picture (wow!) I'm aged 23 and it's just a few months before I fell pregnant with my first child....

So, pregnancy! I felt sick, especially when I was hungry...so I ate....and ate. This was great, I could eat as much as I wanted and not get fat because obviously I was growing bigger, I was pregnant d'oh! But what nobody told me was as my bump got bigger so did my bum, and my thighs, and my arms, and my face...

So off we went to have my beautiful baby girl (on Christmas day!) and I had my pre pregnancy jeans ready to wear when I was discharged. My belly was a cross between bread dough and jelly so I was a little concerned that maybe they may not fasten....(Now if any mothers out there reading this can't guess what happens next quite frankly you can piss off and stop reading now, everyone else keep going cos you know what's coming). So getting my jeans fastened was no problem at all, because I couldn't get them past my knees to even try!

Come back next week to read about the next 20 years!

What have I learnt this week? Well, away on my spa break getting pummelled, scrubbed, massaged, moisturised to within an inch of my life I decided my body definitely deserved all this pampering, it serves me well, I can breathe, and think, and run (yeah yeah walk....fast). But my very next thought was that I was totally abusing this great working body, feeding it food it doesn't need and not keeping it fit and in top condition! A hanging offence.

Sometimes I pretend to me normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being me. 

Away yet again!!

Yes I'm away again. So can't weigh myself. You'd think being at a health spa it would be easy to lose weight? Alas not for me. Plenty of exercise (got 3 classes on the trot this morning) but there is plenty of food too. Mostly healthy but still too easy to over indulge.

This week I've been checking out cheating. I understand that it's possible to lose a lb by having a shit first (my hubby has no problem with this) but it didn't work for me. Then I tried weighing myself with only one foot on the scales - now this lost me half a lb! A little disappointing. Now weighing yourself upside down. Wow! I weighed nothing at all, but the scales almost slipped off my feet and broke my head. I don't recommend.

Someone told me that eating standing up negates calories. Or that if no one sees you eating it doesn't count. So taking these two pieces of advice i closed myself in the larder to scoff a bounty. It was quite nice. The darkness heightened the taste experience and I felt wicked and naughty... But I'm pretty sure that the calories went straight on my bum.

I've decided that cheating doesn't work. At the end of the day you are only cheating yourself so there really is no point.

This week I've learnt that I'm incredibly unhappy being this size.

Difficult roads lead to beautiful destinations.

Yellow knickers

Current weight : 14st 7.5lb
Fat : 46% - no change
Total weight loss : 2lbs

It's been tough this week. I stood on my scales every day, was disappointed every day, so felt miserable every day, and......go on, take a guess ......I wanted to stuff my face with chocolate, biscuits and cake! I resisted kinda. Last night I popped into Tesco for bread. They had iced buns reduced to 30p. I have my mum and niece staying so thought it would be nice with coffee before bed. I ate 3! One in the car on the drive home. You need never wonder why I got fat eh? 

I have a very supportive family. My son is still cooking for me. He watches everything I eat (he was not present when I scoffed the ice buns) and reminds me to do exercise! He dragged me on to the wii this week to Lets Dance! 15 mins later I was pooped. They are threatening to get me on again. How can I refuse? Great fun. Just so long as no one is videoing me. 

My daughter tells me I'm gorgeous. And no! I can not borrow her clothes when I'm slim.

When I asked my hubby if my trousers made me look fat, he told me no, your fat makes you look fat!

This week I have learnt that it is really risky to step on the scales every day. I do so at my peril.

Inside me is a slim girl screaming to get out....but I shut the bitch up with chocolate!

This is it

Current weight : 14st 8.5lb
Fat : 47% 
Total loss : 1lb + up 1% fat ??

DISCLOSURE - I HAVE NO QUALIFICATIONS IN NUTRITION OR FITNESS. THESE THOUGHTS ARE MY OWN. (I JUST READ A LOT)

I no longer believe in diets! To be 'on' a diet means that at some point you'll be 'off' a diet - and that's where it all goes wrong. We try so hard to be 'good'. We resist, and deprive, and crave the foods we really want. We are hungry and miserable. And if we manage to lose weight (which we do - unless we are starting the 'diet' on Monday) we just can't manage to keep it off. Our weight goes up and down, our food intake goes up and down, our metabolism goes up and down. No wonder our bodies are confused.

That's me! My name is Gilly and I've been a yo-yo dieter for over 20 years. To a degree I still am, look at the figures, I've lost 1lb in 7 weeks! That is so hard to write. What a complete waste of time? Well, no, not exactly - as I'm learning. And each week things get clearer. 

I believe in full fat, low sugar, low carb eating. I eat carbs after exercise (HIIT of course). I believe good home made food is the answer. Plenty salad, veg, fruit, lean meat & fish. I believe food should taste delicious - if it doesn't don't eat it. Eating bland yukky food will only encourage you to eat something more, and more until you finally eat that one thing you've really wanted all this time. Cut out the middle man. Eat lots of food that is good for you and really hold back on the stuff that's not good for you. I don't need to list them - we all know what they are. But hey, don't listen to me - I've only managed to lose 1lb in 7 weeks.

This week I've learnt that I need to try harder to be the healthy, confident person that is around somewhere.

You can't live a positive life with a negative mind.