I have a plan

Current weight 14st 9lb

Weight loss this week 2lbs














Yay 2lb loss, at last I feel on track (though 1lb of that was probably hair, as you can see I had it chopped yesterday - about 5" in the end - pic is just the first cut before the colour!) Those eagle eyed readers may have noticed that my weight loss hasn't been so great recently, if this is news to you I apologise for the shock. But I have a plan!

My brother in law has been nudging me toward Joe Wicks again with amazing weight loss videos (I think he's in Joe's back pocket nudge nudge) and hubby decided to read his Lean in 15 and now also nudges me (with a cattle prod) to Joe's ways. And then my sister gives me a book which makes a lot of sense too (more later) so hey presto! I have successfully combined them! 'Gilly's about time couldn't happen sooner weight loss (cross our fingers) successful amazing I'm a size 12 plan'. Nifty title?

My 3 year old God daughter asked me why my tummy was so big. (She didn't say 'fat', she's very diplomatic for 3 years). I thought a simple honest question deserved a simple honest answer so I told her I'd swallowed a football! Ha ha no I didn't, I told her 'A lack of energy balance most often causes overweight and obesity. Energy balance means that your energy in equals your energy out. Energy in is the amount of energy or calories you get from food and drinks. Energy out is the amount of energy your body uses for things like breathing, digesting, and being physically active' 

So this week I have learnt that there is a way forward.

Wake up with determination. Go to bed with satisfaction.

PS I told her I ate too much chocolate.

Life is a Sundae

Sorry no picture, problems uploading. Maybe just as well... It was my huge Sticky Toffee Sundae that I enjoyed the other day with my mum.

Talking of my mum, she has finally decided to read this blog! I think she thought it was going to be like some people's Facebook pages - pictures of every meal, the commute to work, morning cappuccino and daily poo (if this is you, hang your head in shame). So it made my mum cry. And not with laughter. This is not the affect I'm after! But I guess, being my mum, she can see my pain through the humour.

Now since we mentioned photos of meals on Facebook, a friend posted a pic of her lunch - a lovely salad and a measured portion of mayonnaise - but for some reason it turned me cold and sent shivers down my back. You see I've been there, done that, worn the t shirt (sizes from 12 to 18) and eaten the pie (apple with double cream). Counted every calorie, weighed and measured every morsel, written all my food intake down (and cheated thinking if it wasn't written it didn't happen!). And the thought of going back to that made me want to cry. Life just felt too short. I'm half way through (yes! I'm going to live to 100!!) and I want to enjoy it. Not shackled to my diet. So which do I choose - unhappy because I'm fat or unhappy because I'm eating salad and counting calories? Don't worry, I'm working on the alternative.

I'm away from home again. A few days with mum, a few days with my sister. And no, it's not a holiday I'm working! (Sundaes aside.) Yesterday as I succumbed to a bag of Cadbury's minis both my niece and nephew shouted in unison 'You can't eat that!' so me being clever asked 'Who says?' to which they both answered 'You - every Friday!' lol. No answer to that. 

What have I learnt this week? Sometimes life is like being stuck between a rock and a hard place, but there is always a solution! Anyway... Time for that poo picture you've all been waiting for....

If you try you risk failure, it you don't you ensure it.

Sack the dieter!

Damage from Spain : 1lb 

I haven't been to my circuits class for weeks. It's not that I don't like circuits per se, as I really do, it's the getting up at 6am that I'm having real trouble with. Hubby booked us in on Sunday night - I knew I didn't want to go. Set 6am alarm on Monday night - I knew I didn't want to go. Tuesday morning being gently prodded to wake up - I knew I REALLY didn't want to go. I opened one eye (to make it clear that I was still half asleep) my husband is jumping around the room like a leprechaun! Who has that much energy at 6am? It's not normal. Anyway I feigned tiredness, sickness, bad dream syndrome (you know? when you have a nightmare that you just can't shake?) but still found myself slowly crawling out of bed. Get to circuits class and all is quiet and all is dark. It's cancelled?? Find a guy and yes!! cancelled whoop, Billy's son is sick (sorry Billy but YAY!). So as my brain is calculating how long I can nap for on the sofa before I need to get ready for work my mouth betrays me and asks said guy if he can open the gym early. What? did I really say that?

Some may have noticed my sisters FB comment that whilst I was epic at blog writing (thank you) I was shit at dieting (no one will disagree here) and she recommended a book. So I show husband the book on Amazon (I always like a second opinion). A bit of humming and harring, and he glances down, down to a bowl of dorritos. I knew exactly what he was saying, so I asked 'You're thinking I just shouldn't eat them?' 'Yes'. To him its so easy. Just don't eat it. How simple is that? Just don't eat it - the dorritos, the cake, the biscuit, the pizza, the extra slice of chicken. Simple. Uh huh. Not for me, I have a problem. That is why I'm fat. I can't just not eat it. Then my mum pipes up (she was staying as she took care of son and animals when we were away) telling hubby he should stop me drinking alcohol! ha ha ha, like he could even if he wanted to. Then son pops in and has his say - he'll plan all the meals and dad will order groceries online so I'm not tempted my any 'nice' food. He even offered to abstein from biscuits so that they were not in the house. I speak with friends and whether they are fat, or ex-fat, or thin they all have an opinion of what works. Slimming pills, food replacement drinks, slimming clubs, no carbs, no sugar, boot camps... Wow weight loss is massive (no pun intended) everyone has their views, and everyone wants to help. My family would do anything to help me, as would my friends. I thank you all but...you just can't.

What I have learnt this week is that I'm all alone. I take on board everything I'm told, read or seen but only I can make the changes. And in spite of being alone in this endeavour I'm also not alone at all. More than 50% of women in Scotland are a size 18 or larger, and I bet you nearly every single one feels exactly as I do.

Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.

Costa del pizza

So a sneaky little week away in Spain. Self catering so eating to lose weight should be easier. Fruit and salads, so far so good. Neither me nor hubby wanted to cook so we've gone down the convenience food route! ie pizza. But really good pizza.

This holiday was a cheap one. Only £99 but... And it's a big but... We had to sit through a 5 hour timeshare presentation! To be fair it was fun. They offered us 2% of a property for £22k which would give us points to go on holiday anywhere in the world for 19 years lol. I jokingly said if they reduced it to £7k they had a deal lol. Hubby looked at me and asked where was I going to get £7000! So I told him I'd sell my body to which he replied "OK but what about the other £6995!" So rude. I'm sure someone out there likes the larger look lol. I certainly have more body to offer.

We also went scuba diving. Me in a wet suit... Not a pretty look. A bit like a sausage. Dive was great. But getting out the water was another matter. Back at the shore with flippers off and ready to remove the jacket with tank attached. A wave grabs me and pushes me to the beach. Can't stand up cos the tank is sooo heavy out of the water. Wave then takes me back out to sea. I'm now on my back floundering like a turtle stuck on its shell. And so this continues. Me going back and forward on the shore. Thrashing around trying to get up but simply can't stand. Husband laughing too hard to help. Never has the term beached whale been more appropriate!

Live your life like you mean it.