Sack the dieter!

Damage from Spain : 1lb 

I haven't been to my circuits class for weeks. It's not that I don't like circuits per se, as I really do, it's the getting up at 6am that I'm having real trouble with. Hubby booked us in on Sunday night - I knew I didn't want to go. Set 6am alarm on Monday night - I knew I didn't want to go. Tuesday morning being gently prodded to wake up - I knew I REALLY didn't want to go. I opened one eye (to make it clear that I was still half asleep) my husband is jumping around the room like a leprechaun! Who has that much energy at 6am? It's not normal. Anyway I feigned tiredness, sickness, bad dream syndrome (you know? when you have a nightmare that you just can't shake?) but still found myself slowly crawling out of bed. Get to circuits class and all is quiet and all is dark. It's cancelled?? Find a guy and yes!! cancelled whoop, Billy's son is sick (sorry Billy but YAY!). So as my brain is calculating how long I can nap for on the sofa before I need to get ready for work my mouth betrays me and asks said guy if he can open the gym early. What? did I really say that?

Some may have noticed my sisters FB comment that whilst I was epic at blog writing (thank you) I was shit at dieting (no one will disagree here) and she recommended a book. So I show husband the book on Amazon (I always like a second opinion). A bit of humming and harring, and he glances down, down to a bowl of dorritos. I knew exactly what he was saying, so I asked 'You're thinking I just shouldn't eat them?' 'Yes'. To him its so easy. Just don't eat it. How simple is that? Just don't eat it - the dorritos, the cake, the biscuit, the pizza, the extra slice of chicken. Simple. Uh huh. Not for me, I have a problem. That is why I'm fat. I can't just not eat it. Then my mum pipes up (she was staying as she took care of son and animals when we were away) telling hubby he should stop me drinking alcohol! ha ha ha, like he could even if he wanted to. Then son pops in and has his say - he'll plan all the meals and dad will order groceries online so I'm not tempted my any 'nice' food. He even offered to abstein from biscuits so that they were not in the house. I speak with friends and whether they are fat, or ex-fat, or thin they all have an opinion of what works. Slimming pills, food replacement drinks, slimming clubs, no carbs, no sugar, boot camps... Wow weight loss is massive (no pun intended) everyone has their views, and everyone wants to help. My family would do anything to help me, as would my friends. I thank you all but...you just can't.

What I have learnt this week is that I'm all alone. I take on board everything I'm told, read or seen but only I can make the changes. And in spite of being alone in this endeavour I'm also not alone at all. More than 50% of women in Scotland are a size 18 or larger, and I bet you nearly every single one feels exactly as I do.

Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.