Monty python

What have the Romans ever done for us? I'm hoping you all know the scene in the Monty Python movie 'Life of Brian'? Because that's been my week...

I'm struggling with this dieting lark a lot! And I've just been asking why the hell am I doing this? I'm spending my life either worried about what I'm eating and trying not to eat it, or I'm just eating it. Why?? Does it matter? Who am I doing this for? Me? Other people? Strangers? My mum? My mum thinks that obesity will kill me before old age gets her (and she's 79!). Though she may not actually say it I know she worries about my health and obesity related conditions.

So why am I trying to lose weight? Well, it'll make my mum happy. But apart from my happy mum why am I trying to lose weight? So I can run around with my grandchild (This was hubby's thought). So apart from my mum and my non existent grandchildren why am I trying to lose weight? Well my jeans would look much better on me. So my mum, my grandkids, my jeans but why am I trying to lose weight? I'll look more gorgeous, I'll fit better in airplane seats, I'll be so happy, I'll get my diamond ring, my blood pressure will improve. So apart from my mum, the grandkids, my jeans, my gorgeousness, airplanes, happiness, rings and hypertension, why am I trying to lose weight??

Wednesday was my rock bottom. Tears at my friends house because I looked in the mirror and saw what I saw - my fat! I was utterly miserable. My mate told me that I was still gorgeous! And I know she really thinks that. I need more convincing though. Then I thought of this week's picture. When I post photos of me (mostly knickers shots) I look a sight! My hairs a mess, no makeup, just rolled out of bed. So my challenge was to post a photo with all my fat (can't really remove it lol) but looking half decent. I don't have to be a clampit just because I'm over weight? Maybe I can feel and look gorgeous?

Life isn't about finding ourselves, life is about creating ourselves.

Think before we speak Mark II

I thought we'd continue along the same thread but have it diet related lol. After all this is why we are here.

My own diet has been ok, not fantastic yet - still a work in progress - but ok. Lost another 1lb and almost in the 13s again! Can't wait ha ha


Things it is not helpful to say to dieters.

1. You don't need to lose weight.

This may be kind but it's not helpful. What size someone would like to be is up to them really. If they have decided to go for it, and try to lose weight, this might have been a big and/or hard decision. Telling them they don't need to will just shake their commitment or resolute.

2. One won't hurt.

So you take cakes into work and you want to share. Again, a nice thought. But encouraging just 'the one' is not a good idea. The dieter might have just the one, and then just another one. Or they might go home and then eat the contents of their fridge because 'that one cake had ruined it all'. Just saying.

3. Don't be boring.

You plan a night out to the local pizzeria with a few friends. The dieter is trying to stick to plan, so declines or maybe asks to join you all after for coffee. Please don't use emotional blackmail. It will just make the dieter feel bad and that's not fair. Boost them instead and tell them how great their determination is. You'll miss them but coffee will be fab.

4. You can't eat that.

Please don't make them feel bad for having a treat. Treats are important, under the plan. You don't know what they've already eaten or what they plan to eat later. Don't presume they don't know what they are doing. Bit rude really.

5. You've lost enough.

Could this be that you're used to seeing them larger so you're just not accustomed to their new size? Are they really taking it too far? Not many dieters become anorexic. Again, just try telling them they look great and much slimmer?

6. Go on, you know you want to.

Bloody hell of course they want to!! But don't help them make a bad choice that they'll probably regret later. Be a nice friend.

7. You just need to exercise.

Yeah if you're an elite athlete and can exercise all day every day! In my humble opinion exercise helps you get fitter and burns a few calories but I can't lose weight without a reduced food plan.

8. You should do Atkins/slimming world/weight watchers/cabbage soup diet etc.

I have been guilty of this. I love the 5-2 and the Fast 800 and like to recommend but at the end of the day there are hundreds of plans and not one suits all. Recommend yes but let a person decide what is right for them.

My hobbies include eating and complaining that I'm fat.

Disclaimer - as usual, these are just my own personal opinions. Go shoot me.

Think before we speak.

I apologise to those of you who like to read my blog for a giggle. No giggles available today, sorry.

I have been a bit low this week (or so) though nothing for any of you to be worried about. I've had these blips before and I'll come out the other end. But it made me think about what people say to me, or others, that's really not helpful (see left).

Disclaimer - I understand that if you don't have first hand experience of depression you maybe don't know what to say, (and I hope) you think you're just being nice. I endeavour for this to be a little insightful for you. And I'm certainly not pointing fingers at anyone specifically. This is just a general post.

1. You have nothing to be depressed about.
This is not helpful because a) we probably already know this, thank you very much. And b) depression does not work like this!

2. You don't look depressed?
Whilst some illnesses are very visible, do not be fooled. Most depressants are very skilled at hiding how they feel.

3. Some people have it much worse.
Yes they do. I have three very good friends who are going through a very tough and challenging time at the moment, that pales to my issues. If I told you you wouldn't believe me. Even the writers of Eastenders who think the story line was too far fetched! But even so, you can't recover from depression because others are worse off. Nope, this just won't work!

4. You just need to exercise.
Yes this definitely helps but you try exercising when you just want to hide under the duvet! And for some it comes hand in hand with anxiety so even leaving the house for a walk can feel impossible.

5. Stop feeling sorry for yourself/pull yourself together.
This person just needs to be slapped - hard.

6. It's all in the mind.
That's the bloody point. My mind is not working properly at the moment. It's not well. That's why it's called a mental illness, idiot!

7. Medication will just make it worse.
This can be true. You can feel much worse in the first few weeks but then things can improve. Sometimes you need to try different types of medication, there's not one to fix all. I just wish people wouldn't be afraid to take medication. Like my doctor told me, if I was having a heart attack I would take the pill. There shouldn't be a stigma to anti-depressants. They really can help you. And they are non addictive.

8. My friend had depression and she cried all the time, so why aren't you then?
Depression is different for everyone. Some can't sleep, some sleep all day. Some can't eat and others eat everything they can etc.

My blog was not planned to be this. I've even had to change the title. I just started typing and this is what we've got. Next week I can write what I thought I would this week.

Now I suppose I should mention my weight. After all, this is why you are here. I have actually lost 2 lbs. Not entirely sure how (see no. 8 - I'm an eater!).

After years of therapy, Wally finally found himself.

If I have done something this week to upset you, or that you found out of character or odd please forgive me. My mind does not compute properly when I'm feeling like this. Thank you xx

If he can do it

So after having a lovely week in Derbyshire and Worcestershire I just knew I'd put on more weight. I could feel it, I could see it and I could taste it. And even though I promised to start daily weigh ins, I was terrified to step on the scales. I didn't want to see me back into the 14stones. I wanted to stick my head in the sand and cross my fingers it would go away! But I've tried using this method of weight loss before and it has never once worked! So I was a brave piglet and weighed myself. And I've weighed myself every morning since!

A friend has just started at Slimming World and asked if I wanted to go too. I declined. Now there is nothing wrong with Slimming World. It works. It worked for me a number of years ago. I lost a couple of stone I think. It was easy and I was never hungry. But at this moment in time it's not for me. I'm back on the Fast 800. It suits me and I know I will get the results I need/want. Losing weight is very individual and one plan does not suit all. Alas this is my journey. Trust me, if I could share my extra pounds I would. But it's all my extra pounds and for me to lose alone.

So the doggy picture? Allegedly the owner of the lovely but fat dog asked his vet to put him down. The vet did not and the dog was fostered. Through diet and exercise (yes that old nugget) the dog lost 100lbs!! He's now a bouncing and happy normal sized dog. The optimist in me hopes the owners request was because the dog was in pain - joints etc. because of his obesity but what if it was just because he was fat? Is he less of a dog because he's fat? And are people less worthy because they are fat? I think yes, sometimes others discriminate and treat fat people poorly! I've felt it myself. They presume they are lazy, ignorant, stupid and less important!! I am lazy sometimes but that's because I'm Gilly and not because I'm fat. I was lazy when I was slim too. But I'm not ignorant or stupid. Would you put me down? Apart from anything I'm pretty sure this dog didn't open the kitchen cupboards and help himself to biscuits, cakes and chocolate!! Anyway, if this dog can lose 100lbs then I can too!

In the end, people will judge you anyway, so don't live your life impressing others - live your life impressing yourself.

First rule of fight club

Well last week's photo was popular. My readers increased. I suspect this week's picture won't have the same effect!

I'm like the antithesis of someone on Instagram who posts pictures of themselves not fully clothed. The difference is that they are showing body perfection - tight bum, six pack on a flat stomach, muscles and slender thighs. Exactly...nothing like me! Even I find it weird that I post some photos of me knowing that I'm not in the slightest bit proud. But I am a little pragmatic. I'm obviously happy to say this is me, like it or lump it! Though I choose to lump it.

The whole self love (I'm not being rude here) is still not fitting. I mean the inside is ok. I try to be a kind, nice person and I basically am I think. I have my flaws too but that's normal, isn't it? But the outside - nope, not feeling the love. Flogging a dead horse, it is never going to happen. It's not every last inch of me but the bits that I hate I will always hate, always, unless I can change it. I might learn to live with it but I'll never love it.

So I've broken my first cardinal rule of weight loss! WEIGH YOURSELF DAILY! And I have completely ignored this. Partly because I know that a morning step on the scales means I'm mindful of weight and I don't want to be (at the moment - head in sand etc.). But also because I am simply out of the habit. I need to get into the habit again. Even if I still choose to eat that cream cake I need to have the option. Without weighing myself I'm not even giving myself a option. The cake is eaten without a bye or leave. And this is dangerous!

Enjoying a lovely week in Derbyshire. It's so pretty and idyllic (see photo taken in a gorgeous village called Tissington). Once I'm back home I'll start to at least give myself the option of getting onto plan.

Holiday calories don't count! Everyone knows that!