Absolutely Mortified

Weight today : 14st 11lbs
Loss this week : 1lb
Total loss : 5lbs

A little disappointed but I had a crazy weekend so can't complain. 







😙This is Pierce Brosnan and his wife. She managed to bag a fine man so being skinny isn't necessarily the means to a perfect life. My friend has challenged me to replicate this picture with my hubby on holiday. No problem... Though my hubby is a lot trimmer than Pierce! Lol

So, as you know from last week I had a busy weekend planned. Counting my slimline G&Ts so I could calculate my syns on Friday night, only to find out later that I was drinking doubles! Oops! (think of a number between 7 & 9 and double it). Just before we left the pub I nipped to the loo (as you do) before my long (20 minute ha ha) journey home. Climbing into the car my colleague (male) said 'Hold on Gilly, there's something stuck to your trousers' - it was my panty liner! I have never been so mortified in my whole life. OMG! All I can say is that it was a hilarious night and I have a weak pelvic floor! If you get my drift lol.

Saturday night I was at a party. Not what you're all thinking... It was a birthday party for a nine year old. A sleepover to be precise. Eight little girls all screaming at the same time. Too stressful and noisy to enjoy my beer, so I redeemed myself a little and went home sober. Still managed to have a hangover the next morning. Must be my age. Talking of age....

It's my birthday tomorrow! I'll be 42! (Oh yes I am). Feel free to send chocolates flowers. I'm planning on containing my syn full eating to Saturday only, I've been trying to save them a bit this week to leave me spare. No matter what I can guarantee prosecco will be in the mix somewhere! See you next week, have a great one!

Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake! 

Slimming World

Weight today : 14st 12lbs
Loss this week : 1lb
Total loss : 4lbs









So upon arriving home from Austria I weighed myself and I had only put on half a pound. Now this is amazing. Forget your saints and Jesus who made blind folk sighted and turned water to wine... This was a miracle.

Now, long story short I had a teeny little breakdown whilst I was away (I shan't bore you with details but just think lots of slim girls and then me!) So chatting with my comrades I decided I needed help (not that kind of help, cheeky) and I made the decision to join a slimming group. I had resisted for a year but let's face it, I'm still fat. So before you could say Boo to a goose I was off. Food Optimising here I come. It's quite exciting really. My slim gorgeous body is finally going to break out. And for those of you that remember me slimmer it's a much better look I'm sure you'll agree?

I have two nights out this weekend. Now for some reason everyone (ok - my mum & kids) thinks I'm always out but this is an untruth as I'm not. But this weekend I am. So I need to 'syn' an awful lot of gin. It won't be good not to lose weight in my first week at class. Do you think that's happened before? Oh my goodness, it's bound to have! Anyway that is not my goal. So slimline g&t for me and I'll just have to cross my fingers and toes and eyes.

If at first you don't succeed, ask if he's got a brother.

Lederhosen & Cow Bells

So no weight today as I'm away in Austria with no scales, however I can predict bad news for next week.





Having a great time here with ENJO (cleaning without chemicals - get in touch if interested lol) but my size is very obvious. There are maybe 3 or 4 other girls who are fat too, but mostly everyone is slim. I can't help but feel down, as it's really not a great way to be. This in itself really confuses me... I don't understand why! Why is it something that I really really want but seem incapable of doing? Now at least I'm not alone. Oprah Winfrey! With all her gazillions of dollars - personal chefs, personal trainers, home gyms, being in front of millions of people on TV and she has struggled for years, her rear end going up and down more than a tarts! So there is something more to it for goodness sake. You give me a person who says it's just eat less and move more and I will give you a person who's never had to do it! And I don't mean losing a few pounds for a wedding or a holidays, I mean hard core weight loss!

When I'm feeling positive I'll ask my hubby to help me. I tell him to slap my hand away from the biscuits and chocolate. He politely declines - he's known me long enough. If he tried to slap my hand away from anything edible he knows he'd get a punch in the face.

Well I'm very hungover so I'm going to say cheerio. Sorry it's not funny this week but I'm not in a funny mood. I'll be in a bikini in like 4 weeks time! Where the hell did I leave my personal trainer?

Eat less, move more? Fuck off

Tulips from Amsterdam

Weight today : 14st 13lbs
Gain : 1lb
Total loss : 3lbs

This is so pathetic! 3lbs I need to pull my socks up big time!


Do you think you've put on a few pounds? Are you worried it's a few pounds too many? Use my very simple method to find out. All you need to do is book a flight with a budget airline and do these 3 simple tests. 1. When sitting in the seat does your girth lift the arm rest next to you, and do you feel obliged to leave your arm pressing down so that the passenger next to you doesn't notice? 2. Does the tray table rest nicely on your belly? Can you make it bob up and down simply by breathing in and out? Could you spill your G & T using this deep breathing technique? (Not recommended as I don't condone spilt alcohol). 3. Finally, when you fasten your seat belt do you have any strappage left at the end. Only an inch or two before you run out and can't do up the belt without an extension? If you can answer yes to these 3 tests chances are you need to lose the pounds quick! I have personally tried out this method and can assure you that it works... In fact it's Easy Pet! (Get it? Ha ha).

So I've been away to Amsterdam for a long weekend for my wedding anniversary. And as you all know I merely need to step onto a plane or train to put on weight! I really didn't want to put on weight, I was kind of sensible and tried not to go mad. Not a single waffle passed my lips and I only partook in 2 hot chocolates! We walked a fair amount, from one windmill to tother. From clog making to cheese making. From sex museum to hash cafe (only kidding, no hash brownie was attempted - far too many calories!)

Now for those of you who are thinking the painting is of me - how very bloody rude... My tits aren't nearly that big!!

The difference between yesterday and tomorrow is what you do today.