Stressed

My lovely animals caught on camera!

Today's weight : 14st 13½lbs
Loss this week: 1½lbs
Total loss : 4½lbs



I'm beginning to think I can't do this. Don't get me wrong, I'm not in denial. I'm not trying to say that I've been really good and I've still not lost weight. I've drank and eaten as if I didn't have a care in the world (or an arse the size of Spain). I've thought about going to the gym... But not quite got there. I even booked to go to aqua aerobics on Monday but completely forgot. I'm a danger to myself.

I'm running out of excuses. Ooh talking of running. I always thought that people who ran were mental. Not only crazy for running but crazy for liking! That was until my coffee marathon in Newcastle. Coffee pal number 2 was a little later than planned because she'd been running! Outside in the fresh air too! And apparently she doesn't like it! But does it anyway. She thinks that it's only 45 mins out of her day and when it's done it's done. And she loves the feeling when it's over. Now I'm not talking 45 mins but maybe I could start at 15 seconds and build up to 20 mins? Now I know that hating running is not an excuse not to do it I'm stumped. I could use the fact I have a prolapse (a genuine good excuse) but losing weight will help the prolapse so I have to balance an Apple versus an orange! (Or in my language a double decker versus a Fry's chocolate creme) This I'm going to try... But I might need someone to remind me as I have a bad habit at forgetting!

That awkward moment when you're wearing Nike's but you can't do it!

Ragdale Bliss

Weight today : 15st 1lb
Gain : 2.5 lbs
Total loss : 1lb



It's a hard life! Just had a few days in Ragdale Hall Health & Thermal Spa. Too awesome for words. Did you know that in 1973 Ragdale was owned by Slimming World, and all guests were given 500 calories of food daily? Obviously, check my weight gain, things have changed lol.

I also discovered that I'm a floater. So you'd think being so heavy I'd sink...but no! It must be down to surface area. Think of my big bum like a boat. Lots of area to displace water. In the Candle Pool (like an underground cave with sparkling lights and lots of candles with lovely warm water) most can just lie on the underwater seating - not me. I just float away, I could probably float to Nottingham if I wasn't careful. I have to find an alcove, prop my head on the head rail and my feet on the wall, and sandwich myself in. Only then can I relax and enjoy the water.

Now I wasn't the biggest there, but I was sometimes the biggest in the exercise classes. This was hard. Facing a full mirrored wall with nothing else to look at but my wobbly bits and girth. Hum, didn't like it, but at least I did the class. Now obviously we all come in different shapes and sizes. I noticed that some had really huge middles but their arms, legs and head were kind of normal looking. I guess I'm glad I have a fat face. I try to avoid looking in the mirror at my body but my face is hard to avoid - putting on makeup or brushing my teeth is impossible if I'm not looking! And my fat face is a constant reminder that I'm fat all over. If my face looked normal I might forget about the rest. Maybe?

I didn't try to be bad but I didn't try to be particular good either. On Saturday in the Metro Centre I met 3 friends, one after the other, so that was 3 cappuccinos in a row (OK OK OK...2 cappuccinos and a hot chocolate - I got fed up of coffee - so shoot me), Indian food with family, and lots of driving (about 500 miles each way) so snacks and sweeties but all worth it!!

Um I might have a running plan...but I'll tell you next week.

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting, it's called being freaking hungry!

Full moon, half moon, total eclipse

Well I wore the skirt!

Weight today : 14st 12½
Loss this week : nil
Total loss : 3½ lbs





What is it about Jaffa Cakes? I resisted for days but decided to treat myself to one on Wednesday, and 10 seconds later I'd eaten five! How did that happen? They are so morish, and you really can eat one in two bites. So naughty and I didn't even check the syns first.

So disappointed with my weight this week - my diet was exemplary.... Well apart from the Jaffa Cakes of course. Mind I did go out on Friday night (see pink skirt picture). I had planned to drive, and not drink, but I caved under strong and persistent peer pressure. The conversation went something like this 'Ooh Gilly, gin fizz sounds nice, you want one?' to which I replied 'Go on then' and drank them all night!! And now I think about it I did go visit my hubby on Saturday night and we had moussaka (yum, my favourite) and a bottle of wine - which we didn't finish I must stress! I had lemon cheesecake too. Then Sunday I ate the second cheesecake as hubby doesn't do lemon. I think maybe I might have had crisps on Monday? Tuesday was dinner out with friends but I left most of the cheese and BBQ sauce on my ranch chicken and really enjoyed the salad and creamy coleslaw. Yesterday a colleague brought cupcakes to work that he'd made that morning - it would have just been plain rude not to have one. So, you see, apart from the Jaffa Cakes, gin, wine, cheesecakes, moussaka, crisps, coleslaw and cupcake my diet was exemplary! Hum?.... Did I mention the chocolate I ate on Thursday? Obviously that's what tipped the scales 😉 ha ha ha

This losing weight business is a pain in the hoop-la and I obviously need more practice as I'm not very good at it. If at first you don't succeed... Eat a bar of chocolate!

For breakfast I ate plain Greek yogurt, then for lunch I had salad. For dinner I ate my entire kitchen!!

I ❤️ Wimbledon

This is my grand - cat (daughter's cat for those who are confused - I'm cat sitting) helping me with my cupboard!


Current weight : 14st 12½lbs
Weight loss : 1½lbs
Total loss : 3½lbs






I was a likle poorly this week. Isn't it sad when the first thought you think is 'Yay! Weight loss opportunity'. Ha ha. I'm very rarely physically ill. I don't usually catch bugs (oh my - I'm going to be ill all summer now!) I like to think that my constitution (is that the right word) is like an ox. My mental constitution is more like a penguin. In that it's not really what you expect - a bird that can't fly and has a funny walk. That's me and my head.

I've enjoyed watching the tennis though - apart from the fact I kept falling asleep in the middle of a match! Thank God it's been on though, I'd forgotten how terrible day time TV is. And no, Jeremy Kyle does not get a look it. Not even as a guilty pleasure. 

I don't watch any other tennis, just Wimbledon. The players are so tall and fit and tanned and nimble. Everything I'm not. If I were to wear white like them I'd look like a marshmallow. All soft and squidgy. When I met my hubby I told him I could play tennis. One day we had a match and I couldn't hit the ball! The racket was so heavy!! (Compared to badminton). I think I must have had a false memory. At some point in my early 20s I'd played a little but in my mind I must have thought how wonderful to be as good as Andre Agassi (am I showing my age here? Ha ha). And then the thought became a real memory. I really thought I was a pretty good player. I was so wrong.

I bought a skirt. (I needed clothes to put in my wardrobe). It's very nice. Bright pink. £3 in the sale - mega bargain. Now, it's short. And I'm not under any illusions that my legs are either long or slim. Most would probably tell me I'm too fat for a short skirt, and I wouldn't disagree. But then this is me and whilst I wait (patiently.... Not) for my new slim body why should I wear black jeans and boring tops in the waiting time? I might never wear it in public but at £3 it's a great outfit for hoovering.

Don't let comparison steal your joy!