So Santa is fat and he never gets any stick! In fact he's better the fatter he is. Could you imagine a skinny Santa? Just wouldn't be right would it? He just eats cookies and mince pies and if he has high blood pressure or diabetes it doesn't show! And he's been alive for years and years. Of course he only works one day a year - maybe that's his secret? Hummm... Wonder if my boss would go for that?!
I've actually found something seemingly delicious that I don't like. Bailey's thick cream! Who'd have thought it? I love cream and I love Bailey's, so WTF? Weird. But do not despair I've not given up. Still having some on my warm mince pies and it's growing on me. I never give up easily. Maybe it's not so bad.
I've been thinking. There is something fundamentally wrong with me that I can't seem to lose weight. And I admit part of me wonders why I should. I know it's not so healthy but then that means nothing. I just found out this week that Nicki Waterman died (months and months ago). She was a fitness trainer to the rich and famous. She was pretty and slim and fit and healthy and she still died. Shouldn't we all concentrate on being happy? I do think I'd be happier skinny but unhappy trying to get there. So I have a new plan! Forget the 5 stones I need to lose. One stone! I just want to lose one stone (and be a size 16). I think I can do a stone and I think it'll make me happy. But that's it. Just one stone. I truly am forgetting the rest. I'm not planning anything before Christmas - just won't happen. Christmas parties/chocolate/prosecco/ festivities! I promised my daughter I'd be a size 14 by Christmas but ain't going to happen! Whatever she's bought won't fit! Oops! Don't tell her... I'll surprise her on Christmas morning. T'dar! Still fat!!!
Remember you are what you eat. Try eating a skinny person!
PS if I lose a stone I reserve the right to change my mind and lose another stone 😉
How do you know Christmas is coming? There are Easter eggs in the supermarkets.
Anyway, look, I have my first Christmas chocolates. The picture is a bit blurry because I was shaking with excitement. They will go away now until we put the decorations up. We always have chocolates out to help with the arduous but festive task! Don't worry, I will be buying more. That's just the first tub.
Talking of chocolates. There was a box of chocolates at work. Now I understand that everyone made a very conscientious effort to eat them all... But they failed. With only about half a dozen left they were put on my desk. By the time someone realised and picked them up before I could eat them, it was too late. The deed was done. But hey, you got to be fast when it comes to me and chocolate!
Let's get back to Christmas. I have a Christmas album on my memory card along with all my other favourite albums that I listen to in the car. I spend all year fast forwarding this Christmas album! In fact me and the kids play Christmas song roulette on long journeys. We put my car music system (car stereo to me) on shuffle and then the first person to notice when a Christmas song comes on gets a sweet. Sometimes we can be merrily singing along and be half way through the tune before we realise it's a Christmas one. Well some, believe it or not, are ambiguous. Anyhow, the album came on the other day and instead of skipping it I decided what the heck! And I threw caution to the wind and played the album in its entirety. Christmas has come!
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas, but if the white runs out I'll move onto red!
Isn't it fine that we are all so different. I don't mean the big differences - fat or skinny, tall or short, blonde or brunette - but the small things, like moles and freckles, length of eyelashes or shape of nails.
Of course that's just our outsides. Our insides are different too. How we think and feel. For one person they won't bat an eyelid at someone swearing, the next person could be very offended. There are plenty folk who would love to paint their kitchens pink and then the rest who think this is odd.
We all have our problems and it's so easy to think that you shouldn't complain because other people are worse off. This is not helpful really. Your problems are your own no matter how huge or tiny they may seem to others.
Can you change things?
Well you can dye your hair, wear high heels (this is not recommended for everyone) and get false lashes. You can try to lose weight or bulk up at the gym.
Insides are harder to change. You could try to tolerate swearing - just words after all. You could paint your kitchen pink and hope you learn to love it. Can you really change the way you think and feel? No, I don't think so but it's all about small things.
Try not to judge. Try not to sweat the small stuff. Count to five. Don't compare your problems to others, it's not helpful. Be kind. Be generous (with your thoughts and actions if nothing else). Smile and laugh and share good things.
If you feel bad - do one thing, and count your blessings. I don't mean to sound condescending but this is what I always try dry to do, and it helps. This can be really really hard but dig deep and find something. You always have something no matter how bad it gets. Be it pretty eyes, or a funny laugh, a healthy family, or a kind heart. Find that one thing and think of that and don't let it go. This morning for me it was my cosy comfy bed - and I didn't want to leave it lol.
Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth.
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth...and I got them. Aren't they gorgeous? So excited.
This week I have been to the gym! Shock horror, it's true though. And I even went by myself today i.e. not being dragged by the hair kicking and screaming by hubby, which is the normal way I get there. And, I actually quite (don't get excited - it says quite!) liked it. I plan to go back...before 2018. Exercise is good for your mental health as well as your waist. I'm working on both at the moment. Ha ha let's hope the mind health improves quicker than the waist health.
I'm trying to stick to a mind healthy diet too. That's food high in tryptophan - turkey, oats, eggs, nuts, seeds, fish, beans, dairy. All the foods I try to eat anyway. But hold on! where is the chocolate? Hey, don't worry dark chocolate is included. Phew. Our bodies convert tryptophan into serotonin - super!
Won't it be ironic if I can lose weight trying to fix my head? At the moment I feel miserable because I'm fat, and I eat because I'm miserable. What is that all about eh? Crazy or what?
Anyway I've written a poem and I thought I'd share it with you. It's comfortingly dour! I hope you all like it. I have so many readers now it's amazing. Thank you for reading every week, and keep sharing.
I look in the mirror, but who do I see?
The girl looking back has no resemblance to me.
She smiles at me broadly, but it's masking a lie
Her eyes look so sad and she's starting to cry.
She sits in the corner and whispers a pray.
Will it be heard by someone not there?
She hides it inside her, this feeling so dark.
Though she fears it's a badge like a facial birthmark.
The pain in her heart confirms she's not dead.
She goes over and over the words that were said.
Her tears are now rolling, I brush them away.
I don't want to go but I don't want to stay.
My thoughts as I leave her, I'm sure you'll agree
I'm sorry she's hurting but I'm glad she's not me.
Now no one is to get their knickers in a twist. This is simply poetry, I like to think a work of art ha ha. I just thought it was quite good and wanted to share. Do not over think it xx
Do not give your past the power to dictate your future.
