Keep calm and party on!

18th birthday party. Tick!

I didn't know it was fancy dress 1920s style! Apparently it was on the Facebook invite but hey, I missed that bit. It was a shame as I'd have loved to wear a flapper dress - since I used to be alive in the 1920s (long story - for another day). The party was great - plenty prosecco and gin and lots of lovely pizza. That was 2lb just for that night. Lots of teen-agers in short skirts and long legs. Don't worry I don't even think of emulating their figures. At my age a teenage body is long gone! To be honest not sure I even had one when I was 18. I certainly didn't have the boobs.

My wedding anniversary. Tick

We've been married 19 years!! And they said it would never last lol. We spent 24 hours in Seaham Hall - a really nice hotel and spa. Champagne and chocolate brownies from the hotel. Afternoon tea and prosecco in the lounge. There's another 2lbs! We relaxed in the spa - pool, outside jacuzzi, sauna, hammam and this water thing. Lots of women walking around in their swimming gear. All shapes and sizes. Some my size and bigger, but I barely noticed them. I concentrate on the slim ones. The ones where I think 'I could look like her - if I tried harder'. This made we sad, obviously. I just can't get away from my fat. Where I go it goes too. Follows me around like a bad smell. Every mirror or reflection - there it is looking back. Laughing at me! I hate it. I don't believe anyone is truly happy whilst being over weight! I'm not! I'm sad! Very sad! But I am determined to get this fat body sorted. I can't wait for the day I unzip it and step out.

So what's left? A golden wedding anniversary and my birthday. 3 weeks to bust my ass before the eating and drinking commence again. ooh except I have another night away with my hubby (I have no idea what excuse I used for this one - maybe just burgers and cocktails) and then a night away with my pal and her dancing daughter! Another week having fun. It's tragic lol!

Trust is like an eraser. It gets smaller and smaller with every mistake.