What the hell is going on here?

I'm not sure if I can make this a jolly post this week. My mental health isn't as it should be. A coincidence that it went down hill this time last year? Is it a phenomena that I haven't heard of? The upside down version of SAD? The sun is shining and I love the long days and the light nights. Doesn't make sense to me at all. But hey ho. Out of my control. And you know what else is out of control? Yep. My eating. When I lost my first stone earlier this year it became (dare I say) easy. I honestly never thought I'd go back to my old habits. But slowly and surely I did. My 14lb loss is now only 12lb and that is devastating. Now don't all worry I'm not in a deep dark depression but it's just enough to increase my chocolate consumption!

This picture of me last year is horrendous! Not sure if it's made worse by standing next to my slim friends but I hate it. I don't know if I look any better now but I think I do ... Only problem is I still look yuk! It is beyond beggars believe that when you want to slim so very very very much you just can't seem to do it. I was wondering why I was struggling so much when in January I managed to make that decision and I did it. I re-read my blog from then and I've come to the conclusion that's it's this whole mountain thing. I'm thinking of the 4 stone I need to lose. So I've reminded myself that I don't need to lose 4 stone I just need to drop 1 stone. Just 1 little stone. I've decided I'll get back on plan just for 4 weeks, come on Gilly your can do 4 weeks! And then I'll see where I am!

If only I could learn how to say no. Gilly would you like a biscuit... No thank you. Gilly would you like some chocolate... No thank you. Gilly would you like a great big burger with chips and coleslaw... No thank you. (I can just see my hubby when reading this he's thinking that I absolutely know how to say no. Ha ha ha). Don't get me wrong. I am not blaming anyone else. It's me asking the questions. It's myself I can't say no to! I am my own worse enemy.

Can you remember the TV programme Fat Friends? The character that ran the slimming club had a saying that I'm going to make my new mantra....

Nothing tastes as good as slim feels! 

(So they tell me anyway)

If I was a slim girl!

Look at what I have to put up with at work! They are tucking into a giant Apple pie. With Gay abandon! Is it any wonder I struggle with food? And yes I did have a big slice of pie.... Twice (at least).

So getting back to plan hasn't gone to plan. I didn't forgot but just kind of didn't do it. I wanted to but still didn't do it. I really need to and yet I didn't do it. I've watched TV all about it - The Truth About Carbs/Crash Diet Experiment/Beach Body in 4 weeks/Get Fit Fast etc etc and yet I still didn't do it. I need a slap (oy! Don't all queue up thank you). But take heart. I bloody well will do it!! I'm breaking myself in gently. PMT etc is responsible! That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. Even being poorly yesterday only dampened my appetite temporarily. Bailey's and Apple pie is just so good.

Also, whilst losing weight is pretty much on my mind constantly it has occurred to me that not much will change. Obviously in my head when I'm slim I'll be more attractive and (please God) I'll be healthier. But I'll still be me. Just Gilly! I won't be kinder or smarter or more thoughtful. I'll still do a good job at work and I'll still love my holidays and I won't be nicer or funnier or better. I'll still just be me. What will Gilly be except slimmer?

All you slim people can answer this for me. Do you think about how great it is being slim all the time? I think about being fat all the time and when I see gorgeous slim people I presume in their head they are saying 'oh my goodness I'm slim and I'm happy and I look fantastic and I love it!' Cos when I'm slim that's what I'm sure will be running through my head all day every day! Surely??!!

You never hear skinny  people saying that they are just small boned.

CORRECTION : So I have to apologise to my hubby. Last week I told you that when I asked him if he wanted to write my blog he told me to 'Fuck Off.' My husband feels that this was woefully under-reported and he has asked me to rectify. What actually happened was that the colour drained from his face, he started to shake and vomited in the loo. Then he said 'Fuck off Gilly I can't do that!' and added something like 'I'd rather poke out my own eyes!' I apologise for this error and hope that no one was offended by this omission.

Ready for the next!

Aw I think you've all missed me!? It was my son's idea. Letting someone close to me blog their opinions of my weight issues and endeavours at losing. I thought it was brilliant and asked him if he'd like to do it...'No thanks mum' lol. My husband was obviously the best choice (being the closest and all that i.e. having to listen to all my moans/celebrations/moans) except, he can't even write a shopping list! So he politely declined - 'fuck off Gilly I can't do that!'. So who? Who knows me well? Who is opinionated? Who has their finger in healthy eating and exercise? That would be my lovely brother in law! Thank you Richard, I liked your piece. It was pertinent. A friend spoke to me and pointed out that his post just showed that weight loss is personal. If us fatties only had to lose 8lbs we'd be bloody delighted. In fact I'd go as far as to say if I only needed to lose half a stone I would consider myself skinny! But for Richard that's his demon! So whether it's 4lbs or 14 stones our extra fat is a demon to each of us. We all need to face our personal demons. Go Richard!!

So yes I was on holiday (with WiFi lol). A few days in Dubrovnik, Croatia. It was lovely (see pic - it rained the day we walked the old wall. Strike rained... It poured) I didn't put much weight on, which is a minor miracle for me on holiday! Mind you the food wasn't great (veg boiled within an inch of their life, mashed potato tasting like Smash, weird fish) but the daily pizza was good, the hot chocolate in lieu of decaf coffee was yum and the ice cream delicious! Cor I think I was lucky just putting on a lb!! Anyway, said lb has gone. I'm still at my stone loss and I'm ready to lose the next one! Back to the 5-2! Finger extracted! Ready to battle! Bring it on!!! I'm back to see the dietician in about 6 weeks so that's my target - I will do this!

Btw I did my wee Kilt Walk. It was delightful. Just under 2 hours at a very pleasant pace (my walking pal has very little legs) and the sun was shining. I really loved it and we raised £170 for the centre where I work! I'll definitely do it again next year! Might even upgrade to the 14 miles! Get me.


Those who spend their time looking for faults in others usually never make time to correct their own.

Be my guest!

Hi, and hello, not your usual blog this week, not sure what came over Gilly but she asked me to be her guest blogger, I think on the QT she is away on a secret holiday with no internet.

But, no matter how its came about I feel very privileged, if not honoured, to be asked to step into her shoes, even for one week. 

So lets see how I get on filling them.

When I was first asked to do the blog I thought what can I write about, first thing that came to mind was Gilly’s weight loss trials and tribulations, no, you all know about that from Gilly herself, then I thought, talk about Gilly the person, again, we all know about Gilly, so I decided, talk about ME.

So me, I’m the brother in law from Brum, I’ve known Gilly since she was 6, yes that long, so she can't be all that bad, and she calls me Richard most the time, unless I’m annoying her then I'm called all sorts of things, but secretly I think I'm her favourite brother in law, secretly in my head at least.

I have some obsessions and issues, 2 obsessions to be precise, holidays and food, thats 2 in 1, and exercise, now the first one is more a compulsion, I love holidays, I try to blame Jane (my long suffering wife) for booking all these holidays, but really it is me pushing her to book them. Then when I'm on holiday I love to eat, I love to sample the local produce and when abroad I hunt out the local restaurants, no picture food here please. And when we are sat in a cafe having a coffee, it's nice to have a cake to go with it.  

Then my second (3rd) obsession. Exercise, in particular cycling, and when you think cycling I'm not talking ‘gym bike’ for 20 minutes or a cruise down a canal tow path. No. Try Newcastle to London non stop in 24 hours, yes really it can be done. 

Now my issue.

Recently, when I got out of bed and looked in that mirror, I saw something I don't want to see (Gilly stop laughing and you Mark), a food baby, yes I have a belly on me and I don't like it, in the last 10 months I've put on 8lbs and I don't want to be a MAMIL (for those that don't know, google it, its safe, you wont need to delete your browser history), I want to be more Chris Froome, thin and stealthy, able to sprint up those hills (Oh its good to dream), so I have 4 months before the biggest Velo sportive of the year to lose 8lbs, but I also have 4 months to go on holiday, I’m on one right now, we are away in Cornwall with their cream teas and scones, so this week is a “just stay the same, don't add weight please” sort of week.

Wish me luck, and if Gilly can lose a stone I'm sure I can lose 8lbs.

Well that was me, I enjoyed that, makes you thing about life, hope you enjoyed my ramblings and if you didn’t, the complaints department will be open next Friday.

Now this is where Gilly puts her thought for the week, so I better try and do the same.

Cycling never gets easier, you just get faster.

And say hello to Jason Isaacs ;-))

Celebration

I had a really great birthday. The sun shone and I ate drank and was merry! Thank you for all the birthday messages. I thought I'd share a couple of my birthday cards - funny and apt! The bottom one is from my father-in-law! Cheeky blighter lol.

So I'm celebrating! I have now maintained my weight loss for 2 months! Now this is good because...1. I could have put it all back on 2. I get to wear my new (expensive but half price) size 16, gorgeous Hobbs trousers for longer 3. I could have put it all back on!! Now you only need to take one look at me to realise that I still need to lose more weight and part of me knows that I could have lost another stone in this last 2 months and that's a shame BUT at least I didn't put it all back on. 😂😂

I have a plan though....I am going to lose the next stone! I've not planned exactly how or when but I will. Pretty sure I'll manage the 5-2 diet again (and no not the vodka and cake one). It's nice being a stone lighter. People are noticing, even folk I don't know very well have commented. Rings are fitting better (sadly not my wedding ring yet). I'm not 100% sure (as I tend to sleep through it) but I believe my snoring has lessened. My blood pressure is down (could be the meds I guess but let's just say it's the weight loss). It's also easier to get my knickers on (less hopping about on one leg). So just imagine how great it'll be when the next stone is off??? Stay with me and I'll let you know!

So this weekend is my mini kilt walk. 5 miles? Piece of piss! But please wish me luck just in case 😉 I've not done any training. But that's me - fly by the seat of my pants! I've got my legs and my trainers! Bring it on. 5 miles of walking, I'm not afraid. Come here and I'll bite your ankles!!!

You don't meet people my accident. There's always a reason. A lesson or a blessing.

PS Um....I think I need to amend the bit about the snoring...I woke myself up several times last night with my thunders!! Oops 😚 
Have a great weekend everyone!!! xx