What the hell is going on here?

I'm not sure if I can make this a jolly post this week. My mental health isn't as it should be. A coincidence that it went down hill this time last year? Is it a phenomena that I haven't heard of? The upside down version of SAD? The sun is shining and I love the long days and the light nights. Doesn't make sense to me at all. But hey ho. Out of my control. And you know what else is out of control? Yep. My eating. When I lost my first stone earlier this year it became (dare I say) easy. I honestly never thought I'd go back to my old habits. But slowly and surely I did. My 14lb loss is now only 12lb and that is devastating. Now don't all worry I'm not in a deep dark depression but it's just enough to increase my chocolate consumption!

This picture of me last year is horrendous! Not sure if it's made worse by standing next to my slim friends but I hate it. I don't know if I look any better now but I think I do ... Only problem is I still look yuk! It is beyond beggars believe that when you want to slim so very very very much you just can't seem to do it. I was wondering why I was struggling so much when in January I managed to make that decision and I did it. I re-read my blog from then and I've come to the conclusion that's it's this whole mountain thing. I'm thinking of the 4 stone I need to lose. So I've reminded myself that I don't need to lose 4 stone I just need to drop 1 stone. Just 1 little stone. I've decided I'll get back on plan just for 4 weeks, come on Gilly your can do 4 weeks! And then I'll see where I am!

If only I could learn how to say no. Gilly would you like a biscuit... No thank you. Gilly would you like some chocolate... No thank you. Gilly would you like a great big burger with chips and coleslaw... No thank you. (I can just see my hubby when reading this he's thinking that I absolutely know how to say no. Ha ha ha). Don't get me wrong. I am not blaming anyone else. It's me asking the questions. It's myself I can't say no to! I am my own worse enemy.

Can you remember the TV programme Fat Friends? The character that ran the slimming club had a saying that I'm going to make my new mantra....

Nothing tastes as good as slim feels! 

(So they tell me anyway)