Another tree

So we took that magnificent tree down and replace it was this tremendous specimen of a twig! Not even 3' tall but it is 2cm taller than it was when we planted it last week. Of course it will grow. I'm hoping it'll be 7' by Christmas - ha ha ha. Oh my. It's a bit sad and pathetic. However she has been blessed, and named Bert - yes she is a she and yes she's called Bert. But I will nurture her and watch her flourish, over the decades - if I live here that long!

My mum is 80 on Sunday - Happy Birthday Mum! Last year we were planning big things to celebrate. But slowly and surely covid has stepped and squashed the plans as they got smaller and smaller. Until, bam, there are no plans at all. I can't get down. My biggest sister can't get up. I'm sure she'll have a nice day with her middle daughter and her niece and nephew who are close. Stay 79 a wee bit longer and we'll have a lovely time next year - fingers crossed! And yes you're right, I don't look old enough to have a mum who's 80! Lol

Talking of birthday my gorgeous boy is 20 on Tuesday! Happy birthday son. And I know!! I definitely don't look old enough to have a son who's 20! 

So my grand-cat is staying for a week when my daughter is away. She is so cute and adorable. She'll come and sit and sleep on my lap for hours. This is more than I get from my two (one is zero cuddles and the other no more than about 20 minutes). But, as you may remember, she is the devil incarnate! I shall refresh your memories. She climbs the curtains, goes up the chimney, opens every door, inside or out, and never shuts them! She flies down the banister, using her claws, singing 'woohoo!'. She scares my dog too. This week I came home and she had turned on the tap in the downstairs bathroom. She likes to drink water directly from the tap you see. She picked the hot tap (silly Billy) and of course didn't turn it off. So she drained the whole tank of hot water! She's such a madam! 

I can't actually remember what my weight was last week but I've lost at least another pound, probably 2. Happy I'm going the right way for once! 

You have the power within you to rise above whatever it is that is bringing you down.

A tree

 

So, it was a sad day in the Wilson household (daughter still not speaking to us). We cut down the tree! When we moved into our house the tree (in the front garden) was about 7' tall. We put a few hundred Christmas lights on it that year and it was stunning (see photo at bottom). But trees have a habit of growing. We got more lights, and more lights but eventually the lights looked a little sparse. Hubby started to trim it every year to try to control the growth. It got to about 20' and his ladder is only 15'. He had very long lobbers but it was tricky. Getting the lights to the top of the tree was also very difficult - and funny. More than once hubby, attached to the ladder, fell into the tree! I laughed, a lot! So we (me) decided it had to go. I got the electric saw and took off the bottom 2 layers of branches. Hubby chopped down the tree (see other photo at bottom). Bingo. But know what? Hubby chainsawed the branches off the trunk. I used chainsaw for first time. I was very proud! I then pushed every single branch through a chipper! It filled about 30 coal bags which we donated to our neighbour (they were very helpful and provided lots of tea and biscuits - thank you George's mum and dad). Now there's a however here, as hubby was chainsawing branches off he found an empty nest.... Then a baby pigeon... Then another baby pigeon (see picture above). SSPCA came and took them. They'll be hand reared then set free. But mum keeps coming and is looking for them. Breaking my heart it is! So sorry Mrs pigeon! 

My cousin-in-law contacted me this week to invite me to join an online 5 day confidence challenge. It's run by a couple of Geordie life coaches and they do live events every night (and set homework lol). They are funny and entertaining but they make sense too. Obviously I can't tell you everything but I will share a few points that I really liked (heavily abridged) -

- be the CEO of your own life. Not just the admin person and definitely not the janitor (just opening up in the morning and switching the lights off at night).

- people think they lack motivation, but motivation is not the problem, it's your goal. What's your goal? If it's something that you really really want motivation will be there.

- don't be afraid of no. Don't be afraid to try because you are scared you'll fail.  Don't refrain from asking the question because you're worried the answer will be no, just think how many yeses you could be missing. And if you get a no, it's not personal. It's just that person is saying not this, not yet, not at this time. It's not because of you.

- don't let your own head (your monkey) get away with itself. It's just stuff you're making up and not even true eg I didn't get that job because I wasn't good enough, they didn't like me, I'm too fat! Are these facts? No

- how you feel is a choice. People will invite you to feel a certain way. They may poke and prod you but how you react to what they say or do is entirely up to you. It can be difficult but you can learn.

I've lost 3lb this week! I honestly think these sessions have helped me think about what I really want. It's exciting 

Comparison is the thief of joy.

The beach

 

I've been going to the beach a lot with Libby. She loves it. And I do too. She likes to retrieve her ball from the sea. And she'll put the ball on the sand then lay on it, under her back, and wriggle. I think she's scratching an itch, or having a ball massage rather like a hot stone massage lol. I like the sand between my toes and my feet in the cold cold water of the North sea. Makes me feel alive! It's a beautiful beach and only 10 minutes away from home. Libby knows when we head back to the dunes where the carpark is. She'll stand stock still and stare at me, telling me wholeheartedly that she doesn't want to leave. I keep going, so she follows. As much as she wants to stay she's not brave enough to stay by herself! We're so lucky to have the coast right next to us. Good for the soul. Then we go home and I have a coffee, warm my toes and prepare for the day. At this point my husband will tell you that that is my day - drinking coffee on the sofa watching TV! And of course he's right lol but only a little bit. I do clean, mow, shop, bake and cook. I also see friends and neighbours (not the Aussie soap) and try to embrace life. So pardon me lol.

I'm getting confused. This week on the morning TV shows we've had fat shaming and fat embracing. Apparently some university said talking about calories or exercises to reduce your weight is fat shaming! What a load of crock! It's doing my head in. Of course, I call myself fat, cos I is! And I have a handful of friends I talk fat (or skinny) candidly. But generally no one calls me fat (to my face lol) but I wouldn't mind if they did unless they added cow to it lol. Don't Molly coddle. And then Thursday morning Lorraine had a fat black woman who had written a book about celebrating her body. If she is absolutely delighted with her body then that's fabulous. I'd love that. But I seriously can't. I hate my fat! Have I been brainwashed? Over 50 years - yes, probably! Years of fat is bad and thin is good. Friends tell me I'm gorgeous, with my fat. But no matter what they think or say I can not see it myself. I appreciate little bits of me but the whole picture - not good! And then we move to health. Can fat people be healthy? Yes I think some fat people can be healthier than some thin people, absolutely. All the stuff on the inside. But all the evidence says if you are overweight or obese you are more at risk (by a lot) of all those conditions (you know them, not listing them again lol - if you don't know you should pay more attention!). Oh to eat chocolate and not worry....

The only people to see the whole picture are the ones that step out of the frame.

I'm a dreamer

 

So when I say I'm a dreamer I know most of you are agreeing - Gilly in her dream world. I'm not disagreeing, I like being in my head (most of the time), as I know everyone in there! But I'm actually talking about involuntary dreams when we sleep. I go to bed and I dream, two or three vivid dreams, every single night. They are long and weird stories and mostly very unsettling. Just recently all my dreams have been bad ones. I dreamt I was dying, I could feel my blood pressure lowering and I was drifting. I woke up before I 'died'. Another, I was being bullied in an airplane by all the other passengers. And the other night I dreamt of Santa (he was an ordinary guy) and he'd crashed his sleigh (this was a Boeing jumbo yet) and it was very stressful. My mum dreams a lot so I guess it's in my genes. It's exhausting. And before you ask, I don't eat cheese before bed!

I have managed to lose a pound this week, surprisingly. I've done two diet related activities this week...

Firstly, I needed some motivation so I googled 'Why should I lose weight?'. I got some interesting answers. The usual suspects, of course, to help prevent illnesses and conditions including cancers, heart disease, stroke, diabetes, arthritis (not thought of this one), high blood pressure and now we can add covid19. Then there is the other obvious one - to fit into smaller clothes. And to look better and more attractive, have more confidence with a better body image. But here's a few less thought of* ones. Lose weight and crave less sugar. Be kinder to your hips and knees. You might sleep better (especially if you have weight related snoring or apnea). You taste food properly (apparently). Have a better immune system. You'll also have a better chance of surviving surgery (we knew this but do we ever think of it? As a reason to lose weight? Not me). 

And secondly...

When I cut the grass or sit in the sun I like to listen to a pod cast. I found a new one - Stuff You Should Know (it's American) and very diverse - polygamy, carrots and eyes, escaping Alcatraz, panic attacks. The one yesterday was 'How anti dieting works'. Super interesting and all about loving your body as it is, conscious eating, listening to your body and what it needs, eat when hungry and stop when full, and don't feel guilty about having a biscuit or crisps. They suggested that dieting makes you fat! Made sense, but I still feel I want to diet to lose all this excess 5 stones! 

There is SO MUCH info out there! Some contradicting, and not necessary right or wrong. I read it all and make up my own mind. If it says I can eat chocolate and lose weight I'll believe it! 

Life doesn't get easier, you get stronger.

* Not me, just what I've read. 

https://www.precisionnutrition.com/reasons-to-lose-weight