May I suggest

 

I can't believe it's Friday already! I had a brilliant Xmas and my weight has remained the same which is definitely a win for me. 

And now we move on to the next celebration - Hogmanay! I do love traditions but I'm beginning to think that resolutions are pointless. Every year it's always been the same (and I bet for millions of others too) - lose weight, get fit, drink more water etc etc and I bet for the same millions nothing really changes, and yet it feels churlish not to make some. This year I've decided to tweak mine. Rather than resolutions I'm going to have suggestions. I'm going to suggest that I'm going to increase my walking and strength training to give me the best chance of hitting my target weight of 10 stones by June. I'm going to suggest that I will do this by dedicating an extra/specific day once a week to my exercise routine. To help keep me on track I will schedule said day on my new family organiser (thank you, Ellie) and to keep me accountable I will confirm post exercise here on my blog. I will suggest to you every week that my extra day of keeping fit has indeed taken place. I will also suggest that I won't forget to do this by mid January like my previous resolutions lol. 

Hogmanay/New Year's Eve really does nothing for me. Long gone are the days of partying and getting sloshed. I mean I may stay up for the bells as it is quite nice to see the new year in, however if I'm too tired to keep my eyes open I may just be in bed and asleep by 10.30pm. I suspect Ellie and Isaac will manage to stay up to midnight. Though I don't think they'll bother to go out partying either. Mark will be awake as he's on Nightshift. We'll have some nice food, a few drinks and some funny TV. Sounds like heaven to me. Just to be with my family is the best start to the new year! 

Whatever your plans for Sunday night and Monday I hope you enjoy yourself and have positive thoughts for 2024! In fact, you may even have a few suggestions of your own.

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you're the pilot.

Xmas

 

Look at all the chocolates and biscuits at work, and that's only some. I need to get through all of these by February! It's such a tough job but someone has to eat them.

My weight remained the same after my week away in the sun. And this week I've lost 2lb. Making me 11st 8lb and only 2lbs away from a 5 stone total loss. So close but no banana. It obviously won't happen next week, nor probably the week after. I mean it is Christmas in only 3 days! 

Exercise is now firmly on the agenda. Getting closer to the end of my weight loss journey I will need a little boost over the next 6 months. Do what you love and it won't feel like exercise? Isn't that the saying... Something like that anyway. If you know me well you'll know that I love to dance. I'm often found in the kitchen boogeying away, but I need more structure. Just moving my feet and hips in time to the radio isn't going to cut it, so I have a plan. Oh yes I do. I'm going to attempt to learn the steps to two dances. Wait for it..... 'Can't Touch This' by MC Hammer and Footloose. At this point I'm not entirely convinced that Footloose has a dance but if it has I will learn it. I might have to watch the movie lol. By next Christmas I'll be a pro, though no promises. 

Talking of dancing at Christmas it was my work party last Friday. I had a short green sequinned skirt (size 14) and a black silk t-shirt, black fishnets (absolutely against my daughter's advice) and black boots. I can't believe I don't have a picture, sorry. I felt nice but boy did I get loads of compliments from my colleagues. They were so sweet (some drunk - "you looking f*@king amazing!) And they all made me blush but made me feel awesome. Obviously I didn't go down this journey to please anyone else but myself, but validation like this is just the cherry on the top! 

Merry, merry Christmas to you all. I hope you have a lovely few days and that Santa is good to you! If he isn't, I can only presume it's because you've been naughty all year?! Love you all. 

I made a huge to-do list today. I just need to figure out who's going to do it.

Holiday

As I write this I'm sitting at Arrecife airport on Thursday afternoon, waiting for my flight home. Ellie and I have had a lovely week, just what the doctor ordered. The weather has been sunny and warm without being too hot and humid. The food has been good and the cocktails gooder. I have slept so well and feel rejuvenated and ready for Christmas.

This week I've also had some NSVs (Non Scale Victories). One of my dresses needed a strapless bra, which of course I'd forgotten. However, I could borrow Ellie's. Maybe a little tight but easily wearable! Whoop. Number 2 - you know after an exercise class you need to stretch? One being grabbing your foot behind you and bringing it up to your bum to stretch the thigh. I could never do this before, falling all over with bad balance and having to try to grab my sock and shuggle my hand down to my foot, looking a bit of an idiot. Well I can now do it so easily. Admittedly, I was in the pool which probably helped, but I'm still owning it. The third is that the hotel was built on a hill so getting from pool to room involved steps - 24, 18, 36 then finally 9! And a lot of walking up slopes. But I noticed that I did all these, several times a day, with no moaning or being out of breathe, or trying to use the lifts. Just walked quite pleasantly. You see it's all the small things that count.

So this week marked my 6 month anniversary since WLS. In that time I've lost almost 5 stones (70lbs or 31kg) and feel like a completely new person. So happy and healthy and fitter. I don't know what the holiday has done to my weight but I know I'm not worried at all. Such a good feeling! I am blessed and thank everyone who has helped or supported me on my journey. 

Beginnings are usually scary, and endings usually sad, but it's everything in-between which makes it all worth living. - Bob Marley

Elf

 

So elf on the shelf maybe for kids but Ellie has led my own elf (Einstein) into mischief! My giant elf has taken over the remote for the Christmas train, eaten a whole tub of chocolates and lassoed Mickey and Minnie! Of course, I'm just loving coming downstairs to see what he's been up to! See the photos above and below lol.

As you read this I am (fingers crossed) sunbathing in Lanzarote. We definitely landed on the Spanish island yesterday but can only hope it's sunny/warm enough for a bikini. The forecast is good so I'm sure we'll be grand. Ellie has finished uni for the winter break so we've jetted off for a week. Just a little respite and relaxation. Cocktails are a given even if the sun isn't. I can't believe how much time I've been away on holiday this year - making up for the barren COVID years when we didn't set foot on a plane.

I don't think I've lost weight this week but it's cool. I'm still feeling good which is the best bit. We had our residents Christmas party this week and served turkey dinner to them and a few relatives. I had a small plate and boy it was good! One roast potato, a slice of turkey, one pig, gravy and some skirlie. Biggest meal I've eaten since surgery! Yummy.

I wish you all a great week. More from me in Lanzarote next Friday (though I will be home and back to work).

When life gives you a hundred reasons to break down and cry, show life you have a thousand reasons to smile and laugh! 

Good morning

 

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. First day of the advent calendar and official start wearing Christmas jumpers day! The decorations are up and we even had a flurry of snow yesterday too.

This week I've lost 2lb. New weight: 11 10, which is a total loss of 4st 10lbs. On my way to a 5st loss.

When I was a dieter I used to read all the slimming magazines, I did enjoy them especially the real life stories. And one thing was very common - so many people were spurred on to lose weight after seeing a photo! Unfortunately, I feel the same way now. In real life and in front of the mirror I feel great, so much slimmer and svelte. I rejoice in every NSV (non scale victory) and I hop about like a kid which makes Mark smile! But then I see a photo (yes a photo of today) and I'm right back to feeling fat and frumpy. In a photo I am reminded that I'm right at the top end of overweight! I can see how much I still have to lose and it stops me hopping in my tracks! I'm not sure why a photo is clarification when a mirror isn't but that's just the way it goes. 

Let's go back to happier news - this week's NSVs. I have boots that lace up but also have a zip. I wore them for the first time since last winter and after zipping them on I had to undo the laces and tighten them up, a lot. And I can get socks on over my tights. The other one was at work. My boss asked if I'd like a Christmas tunic - of course I would, thank you. Not knowing what size to order (I'm still wearing my old ones that are drowning me lol) I popped into the basement where we have spares. The medium fitted a dream, and was ample big enough! Whoop

A quick Gillyism to brighten your day. I was shopping with Ellie and needed to get stuff without her so arranged to meet back at the car. I was first there (and yes, it was the right car) but she had the keys. So I'm just hanging at the car when she appears round the corner, walking towards me. My car indicators flashed but the car was still locked. 'Do it again' I shouted down the street, only for a couple to appear the other side of me saying it was their car that was unlocked. Ellie hadn't used the clicker and it was the cat next door that had flashed! I'm such a narna. 

On that note, we are off to Achmelvich today for the weekend. A pod by the beach. Do you remember the photo of my bare bum skinny dipping a couple of years ago - it's that beach. Taking Bella so I hope she settles ok cos it's a long way home! Enjoy your weekend everyone! See you next Friday.

If we could erase all our past mistakes we would also erase the wisdom of the present. Remember the lesson, not the disappointment.

My elephant moment

I've good news twice over this week.  I am now in the 11 stones (3lb loss this week) and I'm no longer classed as having an obese BMI - I'm just overweight. Lol. Yay

So something occurred to me this week, and when I say occurred I mean it was like an elephant sitting on my head. Now this isn't anything new, I've not invented it and I'm sure you're well aware already but... Life is so negative. It started when I was thinking about 'diets', all based on what not to do, in one shape or other. Do not eat carbs, do not eat red meat, do not drink wine, do not eat chocolate, crisps, biscuits, pies, sweets, cakes etc. Then when we are out and about we mustn't drive faster than the limit. We must pay taxes. Even the Ten Commandments is Thou Shalt Not.... So I've decided to try and spin things a little. Instead of I must not eat the chocolates behind my desk at work, I'm going to take different fruits into work everyday. Instead of I must exercise (I know this - like paying tax - is not grammatically a negative, but we all know it kinda is) I'm going to enjoy my walking by breathing deeply, seeing the nature and watching Bella having fun. Instead of not watching too much TV I'm going to enjoy curling up under a blanket and reading a good book. I shall continue to pay my taxes and rejoice that I can select Gift Aid because I do. Every cloud. .  .

You've maybe seen already but my lovely son graduated with his master's degree in modern history. We had a lovely day and he's made me very proud. Isaac loves learning but he's not a genius. He has worked hard to get his honours degree and his master's (with a commendation - just saying). I think he'd love a PhD next but that's not so easy. I think he would stay at uni all his life if he could. He is curious and absorbs knowledge. And thinks this is much better than working for a living. Though he does have a job to be fair. Being his mother I just want him happy (happy in a high powered job earning lots of money is just a bonus).

On a side, I can't believe that my tiny 5lb 1oz baby is a strapping lad of 23. How does that even happen, and so quickly too. Feels like yesterday he was born so spectacularly! To all of my readers with babies or nephews/nieces watch them grow but embrace every moment. Life is short

The same lesson will appear in different forms until you learn to respond differently.

Another week

 

I can't believe it's Friday already. The week has just flown. My week has seen me lose another pound which is good. 

Weight this week: 12st 1lb

Total loss: 4st 5lb

Almost in the 11 stones whoop whoop, exciting stuff.

Bella started her first period this week. She's also had diarrhoea all week which I'm hoping is linked with her season. Got her puppy check at the vet tomorrow so I shall hopefully get some advice. I also had an unexpected period last week. The menopause is upon me, just about, but not official until I've gone a year without the periods - I did this (12 month period-less) last year but HRT has thrown this to the wind. And they started up again. They are quite gross! 

We had a busy week in Newcastle. However, I did manage to pop to the metro centre every day! It was tough but we managed it. That's me pretty much finished my Christmas shopping. Just need to wrap it all now. The decorations will be going up soon. Have you noticed that there are loads of homes decorated already? It seems to be getting earlier every year, but I'm not complaining.

One of my WLS friends found my pictures on the clinic's Instagram business pages. (A snap shot above). I'd forgotten I'd sent them so it was a surprise to see my little video reel. The photos are a tad embarrassing - wish I had been a bit more selective with my choice. But hey, it's all good fun.

My first Christmas with my new tummy. It'll be interesting but I'm confident I'll cope. A tiny turkey dinner for me. My work party dinner will be a small bite of every course and not too much wine! But I have bought my party outfit - a short sequinned skirt in a size 14. I'm chuffed with it and can't wait to wear it. 

That's me for another week. Not much of interest but I hope I've amused you for a few moments. 

Don't wait for things to get better. Life will always be complicated. Learn to be happy now or you will run out of time.

Reduced fat

 

What I loved in Madrid was that, not only did they have green men on their pedestrian crossings, but they had girls too. And two boys holding hands and two girls holding hands. Just awesome. For some reason I failed to get a photo of the single girl but thought you'd like the rest.

Weight this week: 12st 2lb

Total loss: 4st 4lb

Fat: 35%

Fat loss: 14%

My fat has reduced this month even though my weight didn't. For my age group 33% is considered normal (23% - 33%) so that's a nice thing to say.

More news, another NSV (Non Scale Victory in WLS speak (Weight Loss Surgery)). I went to asda for some work trousers (non stretch) and the size 14 fits me like a dream. I was very happy and did a little wiggle bum dance. Whoop!

I also have a Gillyism from my Asda trip. After shopping I walked back to my car, unlocked the boot and started to pile my bags in when I suddenly heard a voice from the front seat. I screamed and jumped a mile! Then realised the voice was saying 'This isn't your car'. Yes, I was at the wrong car. It was a blue Polo exactly like mine, but mine was the next space up. I was mortified, though it was pretty funny - once my heart beat slowed down again.

Making my pre-Christmas visit to my mum's. If you're reading this in Newcastle and are wondering why I've not been in touch, I apologise. The weekend is so full with family and birthdays and maybe a tiny visit to the metro centre - I admit or deny nothing (but there is a photo below lol). I love coming down and seeing everyone. But Scotland is home and I'm happy going back. However, if anyone wants to come up and visit me they are more than welcome.

And now I'm going to show off a little more - I have virtually, almost finished my Christmas shopping! Just a couple of small things and then I'm done. How good is it that? Can't wait to decorate the house. I love Christmas! Come on Santa. 

I'm not saying I'm attractive but when I get undressed in the bathroom I turn the shower on.

Madrid

 

No news re weight loss this week. I have decided I need to get back to WLS basics. Now they may sound like diet rules but they aren't. Though I dare say they include maximum weight loss cues. Eat slowly. This is to ensure my brain catches up with my tummy. With my little tummy it's easy to over eat and consume more than it can comfortably hold. Chew thoroughly. This is to make sure food doesn't get stuck in my new stomach emptying tube. Try not to eat food that is more than 3% fat and 5% sugar. This is to help my body not to react badly to these type of foods. I'm not sure why it does but 'dumping' is a real thing and is pretty unpleasant. Something to do with blood sugar highs I think. Don't eat and drink and the same time. Again this is a tiny tummy thing and the way my new tubes digests what I eat. It needs to digest in the stomach for at long as possible before moving to the intestines. We don't want fluid to wash it through too quickly. I'm not on a diet. Diets are evil.  I've had surgery and need to follow the process. All I can control is what I eat, not how much I eat. Healthy food with a little treat sits well with me. I never pretended that treats wouldn't form part of my forever eating plan. Life is short.

I'm in Madrid. Meeting my sister and BiL. It's been a while and it's lovely. Needed to catch up, so why not in Spain? Not sure what our plans are but it'll be fun. Airbnb has supplied a nice apartment. Plenty of gin and good food. 

You might like to be the sun in someone's life, but be the moon to shine in someone's darkest hour. 

Finally

I was worried it wouldn't happen but I've finally lost weight, a whole pound! No, it's totally fine. I've been watching videos on YouTube. No not Depeche Mode! There's an American bariatric surgeon who has done all sorts of little info videos. One on WLS stalls. The first stall happens after 3 weeks then again after 3 months. The next few months will most likely have a few stalls. And whilst I don't actually want them knowing it is all part of the process is calming. At least 2 of my fellow surgery pals are stalling too. We all hit the 3 month mark at the same time, so it must be normal. Feeling so much happier with the whole thing again.

Above mentioned surgeon also did one about loose skin. The way he put it was interesting - the saggy skin damage issue had already happened it was just all the fat keeping it stretched and smooth! Lol. Now the important message about it springing back. Lots of elements affect this. Namely my age - over 40 isn't great. Smoking - no comment, genes - well my jeans help to keep the skin in. So after surgery you tend to lose weight for about a year, but your skin can continue to shrink back for up to 2 years! Whoop whoop. Therefore, cosmetic surgery shouldn't be considered until after that. Exercise per se will not help (though building muscles will stretch it smooth a little), and there are no magic creams - bugger! Hydration, healthy eating and nature is all it takes. 

I hope everyone is fine after the horrible weather. Remember the clocks go back an hour this weekend. Have a great time, whatever your plans and I'll see you next Friday. Happy Halloween 🎃👻

People think that the grass is greener somewhere else, but the grass is greener where you water it.

What a week

 

It all started Friday morning when Ellie woke with a nasty tooth infection which didn't improve before she was due to run her half marathon. We had our hotel still booked at Pitlochry so we went over. Via a garage in Edinburgh for Mark to test drive a car. Unfortunately, Bella didn't settle at the hotel. Her travel crate was suddenly tiny, or she'd grown in the last couple of weeks since trying her in it. Then she started barking every time she heard something outside or in the corridor. And just to finish us off she pee'd on the bed! We checked out at 10.15pm and drove home. Arrived at about 1am but at least we slept. We then had The Hideaways booked near Dundee. So off we drove back down the road - leaving Bella with Isaac lol. Mark bought the car in Edinburgh but they couldn't get it ready for us to pick up Tuesday after our break. Meaning I would have to travel back down south again, by train, to enable me to drive it home (Mark working). Until I had the bright idea to stay at The Hideaways for an extra night. And they had vacancy. Whoop whoop. Had a lovely time. The sun shone, we ate and drank, sat in the hot tub and sauna, and I rocked in the hammock. Just bliss. And we both popped back to Edinburgh for the car! Every cloud...

Weight still stable, but my calories were probably increased when we were away. I'm so happy as I am and I think I forget that I am still over weight and should probably still lose more. However, my skin is loose but liveable. If/when I lose any more my skin will be even saggier and will need cosmetic surgery, which is fine but where I am just now I don't. Does this make sense? I'm back into some of my favourite clothes, though I still have others that are too small. What a conundrum. But my body will do what it will do. It's seeking a new set point, who knows what that is. All I can do is be aware of what I eat. And yes, I have my treats (and won't ever stop those - life is far too short) but healthy foods are always my aim because it tastes good and does me good! Hooray for a salad! 

 What is meant for you will arrive in clarity, not confusion.

Stall

 

I have definitely hit a stall. I've been asking Dr Google, Mr Online Research, other WLS (weight loss surgery) Facebook users and my WLS chums and it seems this is perfectly normal and very common. It can happen any time but often between 3-6 months which is where I sit. My body is recalibrating, adjusting to my new size. Apparently I may still be losing inches which is good. It could last a week or a few weeks but the general consensus is don't panic. Follow the same principles and believe in the process. Weight loss will kick in again. So I'm trying to be patient, and have temporarily stopped weighing myself - it was getting frustrating. Hence, no data today. Although I can report that my fat is down to 39% which is 3% less than it was when I last measured. Yay - only 39% ha ha ha

Life has been good in-spite of this. I'm walking lots on my days off. And going on small, round the block lunchtime walks when I'm not off. I've used the elliptical trainer when I can/feel like it. Oh and I'm planking and squatting in preparation of skiing next year! 

Going away for a nice weekend tomorrow. A night in Pitlochry to watch Ellie run her half marathon - rather her than me. Couldn't think of anything worse. Then a couple of nights at the Hideaways near Dundee. Come Sunday I'll be sat in a hot tub with a glass of prosecco and soft music playing. I can't wait! Super excited! Don't worry, I'll post pics next week. 

Have a smashing weekend and thank you for reading. Oh and the photo was my breakfast yesterday. One big egg with a double yolk (whoop) on half a thin protein bagel. Yummy!

Your beliefs don't make you a better person, your behaviour does.

Discombobulated

 

Weight: 12st 5lb

Loss this week: 1lb

Total loss: 4st 1lb

Last week the weight just fell off me, not so this week. It's been colder so maybe that's it. I've eaten for comfort (chocolate) and bad habits (chocolate) and to treat myself (chocolate). Not good. 

Last weekend I was out for brunch with friends (see picture). I couldn't manage a big fry up so had the waffles (a treat). The raspberries were so amazing. After managing half a waffle my Tupperware came out so I could take the rest home. I think I noticed some raised eyebrows but I didn't let it bother me and I'll tell you why. Like most people I hate food waste, but it wasn't really this. Because I eat so little now I have to be careful not to over eat. If I wasn't taking my left overs home I know that I would just try to have a couple of mouthfuls more, and then end up feeling very sick. But when I know I'll be taking the rest home I can happily stop eating when I need to. I've spent a long time eating too much so being able to stop eating when there is still so much on my plate is very important, physically and mentally. I paid for it so hey. (And waffles are something I have rarely and wanted to enjoy them later - which I only managed a few bites of, then they were composted).

Photos were taken that morning and sent on what's app or posted onto Facebook. But looking at myself in them upset me. I looked like I did before my surgery. I couldn't see any weight loss and I looked as fat as always! I mean I know I've lost over 50lbs but it was not visible in these pictures. Hence feeling discombobulated. The week before I was euphoric with joy and felt so much slimmer and suddenly, like a slap in the face, I was (in my head) 16½ stones again! So confusing and left me feeling weird all this week. And probably contributed to the chocolate consumption. An excuse? Maybe. Never the less true.

Breakfast at Wetherspoons yesterday with Mark. I had eggs Benedict. Managed most of one egg and some ham (muffin ignored) and didn't even touch the second Benedict. However, poached egg is not something that you can take home for later! I was good and did manage to stop myself having that little too much. See, I'm learning... Just about. It's still awful leaving food though. Especially in this economic environment. I can't help it.

Someone said '20 years ago' and I thought oh yes, 1980s - but they meant 2003! Yikes. 

Let's celebrate

 

Current weight: 12st 6

Loss this week: 5lb

Total weight loss: 4 stones!

Last week, with all that non emergency emergency I feel we didn't celebrate the fact that I didn't put a single pound on during my holiday. So, loud and clear, hooray! 

And this week I've hit the 4 stones total loss. So, again, hooray!

Today is my baby's birthday (he's 23 (and no, I don't look old enough)) so yet another hooray!

That's better. Although I could go on... So I will. The knickers you see me in on the photo below (yesterday) kept falling down! And I was wearing a dress. A couple of times I thought they might end up around my ankles. So they are in the bin. Not the sort of thing the charity shops accept me thinks. So hooray to that. 

Now I'm definitely done.

I still get excited when I look in the mirror. I feel so much better. 4 stone is amazing but I know I still have a wee way to go. I know this because the stats tell me that I'm still obese! Yes obese! I don't feel obese. Overweight, yes, I'll give you that. But obese? I just think that's rather rude! I bet you if I was taller (about 7 foot tall) I'd be perfect. Not obese or overweight. 

Something I have noticed mind you - when I dry my hands under one of those super powerful hand dryers the skin on my lower arm gets pummeled and blown around. It looks really weird. Excess skin I was expecting but my lower arm? It freaks me out man. 

I hope next week continues to give me weight loss. I hope that you all have a good week. And welcome to autumn! 

I woke up this morning and ran around the block 5 times. Then I put the block back in the toy box and went back to bed.

It's a miracle!

 

Yes, it is a miracle. And I don't mean getting home after our flight from Heathrow was cancelled (in the end the journey was very smooth with no more surprises), and I don't mean that Bella walks to heel (courtesy of Ellie's training), nor do I mean the house being clean (again mostly down to Ellie) but rather the fact that I didn't put any weight on during my holidays! Not a single pound 🎉. It's the first time in my life. And I'm delighted and gob-smacked all at the same time! 

Now I'm home I'm hoping the weight will start to fall off again. Just back to my usual eating and (soon to start) walking. Unfortunately, I've returned home with a strange pain in my left leg. I don't think it's muscle damage but it's more inside the leg like the bone. And as I typed that I suddenly thought 'DVT?'. So I've spoken to NHS 24 and they have referred it to NHS Grampian. Waiting on a call back so I'll update you later.

Well that didn't take long, just thinking what to write next and they rang. Going to the local community hospital in 40 mins. Great service NHS! 

So it's now 10pm Thursday night. At first the Dr didn't think it was but did a blood test anyway, which came back positive. So first thing in the morning I'm off to Aberdeen Royal Infirmary for a scan. Ooh my. I'm so annoyed because I had flight socks with me and forgot to put them on. And I'm normally good at wiggling my feet. Anyway, if I have I have, can't be helped. And I just booked my next holiday about 9 hours ago!! Ahhhh

And yes, the most exciting photo since I got home was the community hospital waiting room (all alone). 

Sometimes you don't feel the weight of what you're carrying until you feel it's release.

Fab

 

I've done nothing. I've relaxed in the pool. I've soaked up the sun. I've loved wearing my dresses, and I've felt better than I have in years. Just what a holiday is supposed to do, for me at least.

It would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about stepping on the scales on Monday morning. It's a weird feeling that I can't explain. Partly because I always put weight on (having enjoyed all the food and drink) but this time I want things to be different. I don't want to believe that my weight loss is infallible. To be reminded that I do still have the ability to gain weight - that's so scary. I know other weight loss surgery peers that have holidayed and gained just a little. As soon as they get home the small increase has melted and they've continued to lose. I also know others that still lost whilst away. But what I can't let it do is spoil the time I have left on this beautiful island. Qué sera Sera.

Mark has been diving alone. I discussed it with my doctor and we decided I needed to wait 6 months after surgery, so I have. It's been fine. He's gone every morning, all morning. I was a little jealous but it's sensible. Until he decided he wanted to do the next step in diving competency. He's done his rescue Diver course! I don't want to do rescue Diver, I'm happy as advanced open water - but I'm not happy that he'll be one step ahead of me! My only compensation is that he'll be qualified to rescue me should I ever need it lol. 

I hope you've all had a holiday this year. Whether far flung or closer to home or even down the road. Holidays are what you make them. Your holiday might be doing all the museums or shopping in a new town. Hiking up a mountain or visiting your mum. Just leaving the house for a few hours can rejuvenate you. Sitting in the garden on a fine day with a glass of wine. Embrace any time that you're not working or cleaning or looking after kids. Take a deep breath and count your blessings. Thank you for reading and I love you all 

Are you an adult? Yeah, but not like on purpose or anything.

Hooray hooray...

 ... It's a holi, holi-day!

When I last weighed myself on Monday morning I was 12st 11. Now traditionally I would put weight on on holiday at a rate of 1lb per day (absolute truth) so if I get home and it's less than half a stone I'll be okay (away from home 13 nights). In truth it should be/I really hope it's not even that much but I have no prior data so I'm just guessing and crossing my fingers. Obviously, I can't consume any more food just because I'm away but my diet is very different to that of when I'm at home. And then we have the cocktails....

I have discovered two wins this week though. First one, my bikini bottoms don't roll down under my tummy fat nearly as much as they used to. And the second (my favourite) I can now fasten my own sandals! Whoop whoop amazing. 

Google is now getting in on the act of before and after shots. Mark's phone gave him the comparison photos today (see below). Both taken at this resort - one 2016 and one 2023! So if Google can notice my weight loss it must be true lol.

I had also prepared a before and after bikini photo ready for today's blog (also see below). First one was at the end of April and the other was this morning. I'm so happy. Still got a bit to do but it's fabulous. I don't know why my size is making such a difference to my happiness - I'd need a psychologist to tell me. I do know that it's shared by lots of women (and men) all over the world and has done for a few decades. Media? Food options? Everyone getting fatter? Shame but there it is.

I can't believe the UK is having such good weather this week too. That's very rude! And a little gutted tbh. I mean it's rather be leaving rain and mist and coldness rather than glorious sunshine! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the lovely weather. It'll be miserable just in time for me to get home.

There will always be someone who can't see your worth. Don't let it be you.

Happy dressing

Weight today: 12 13

Loss this week: 3lbs

Total loss: 3st 7lbs

And I'm in the 12s! Whoop

I was getting ready to go on holiday. I have all my holiday clothes packed in a suitcase in the loft. I also have a suitcase or two under the bed, stuffed with clothes that don't fit me. Everything was dragged out and I gave Mark a wee fashion show. Just delighted to fit into dresses that I've had for years that were too small. Some still had tags on that I've never worn! My habit of buying clothing (especially if it's a bargain in the sales) that 'I'll diet into'. I mean half of them I've had so long they're not even fashionable now. But my God I'll still wear them this holiday! I was so happy, but kind of more than that too. I had such a feeling of contentment. A warmth all through me. Hard to describe. I found a pair of jeans that I bought from BHS (remember them?). Still with tags and now fit me a treat. Wore them to work yesterday. Ooh yeah ooh yeah.

Lots of people have started to mention my weight loss. Even the beautician who waxed my bikini line last night! Lol. I only see her a few times a year. When I first had surgery I was worried I wouldn't get to my target weight and I'd be desolate. I mean I don't have a concrete target but I kind of know where I'd like to be. But now, and I hope I have more loss to come, but even if I didn't lose another pound I'd still be happy with where I am. It's good! In less than 3 months I've lost almost 50lbs! Wow. Bring it on. I still have smaller clothes to get into please.

It's not all good though. I'm starting to feel like a half full bag of potatoes. I'm noticing the slack skin and it looks a bit weird. Not much can be done (apart from cosmetic surgery - but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it). It's not enough to put me off further weight loss. It is what it is.

Do you like my Prince Albert Christmas decoration? Whenever we are away, wherever in the world, I try to always buy a decoration. It makes hanging up the Christmas tree such a joy. So many memories are triggered with each one. We've been to a lot of places and I think it's just smashing. And Albert is my most recent purchase. Bring on December (just kidding - I'm not finished with summer yet). 

Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished.

No way

 

Current weight: 13 2

Weekly loss: 3

Total loss: 3st 4lbs

As you can see from the picture, it wasn't just expensive peanut M&Ms I brought back from London. Monday I had a sore throat and thick head - I thought I was getting a cold. It didn't once occur to me that it was COVID. On Wednesday morning, feeling pretty poorly Mark suggested we test. Sure I thought - it's just a cold. And I nearly fell off the floor when it was positive. In 3½ years, when virtually everyone I know got it, I never did! I was proud, it felt like a badge of honour. My immune system must be platinum star. What happened? Maybe my immune system is lacking after having my surgery? But I am truly gutted! Like, proper, gutted! And yes, I'm feeling very sorry for myself because I feel crap too. I was supposed to be going out for supper Wednesday night, obviously had to cancel. And Saturday I'm volunteering at our bouncy castle community event in the local park. Not if I'm feeling like this! Letting people down. It's poo and poo again. I make a terrible patient, just ask Mark. It's like man flu but worse.

Anyway, moan over (probably). 3 days/2 nights in London was fab - if bloody expensive! Mark and I popped down for the weekend (as one does), very last minute. What we did - Westminster Abbey, Tower of London (just loved the crown jewels and the Beefeater tour), Tower Bridge (see photo below of the glass floor over the Thames - I felt very brave going over it, pretty scary), The War of the Worlds Experience (excellent - climbing through windows and going down slides lol), and had a chocolate cocktail. We had champagne in Fortnum & Mason, went to the theatre to see The Crown Jewels (so funny, great cast, loved it) and ate at Gordon Ramsay's Street Food restaurant (yummy fries), we did The Royal Albert Hall tour (very interesting!) and spent hours in the Science Museum. We walked miles, did thousands of steps, I was knackered! 

Eating was, shall I say, unusual. I tended to have a protein bar and just nibbled at whatever Mark had. He tucked into Greggs bacon rolls (so I'd have a little of his bacon). He ate at Gordon Ramsay's (I tried his fries and had a cocktail lol). I had fish fingers at the Science Museum and Mark helped me with my potato wedges. I did manage my own ice-cream at the theatre, though felt sick for most of the second half - it was so scrummy though. Food is weird now. Breakfast used to be my favourite meal but now I really struggle to eat it, and often wait until later before food. A bit of a shame but just how it is. I certainly don't enjoy food like I used to. But maybe that's a good thing. Anyway my weight stayed the same which is a real win for me because usually I just had to step away from the house to gain - a lb a day. So a 3lb loss since Monday is probably due to my sickness status. Always a silver lining lol.

Right, before I start crying into my blog, as I wallow in my sorrow, and scare you all away, I shall say Adiós.

We are like books. Most people only see the cover, the minority only read the introduction, many people believe the critics. Few will know our content.

Bucket love

 

Weight: 13 5

Loss this week: 2lb

Total loss: 3 1

It's been a slow weight loss week. I'm guessing a roller coaster ride is normal after gastric surgery. Bit frustrating no less, though I must confess the consumption of chocolate increased this week. Not loads but maybe more than I should. The proof is in the chocolate! However I feel slimmer so that's all that matters.

I was in Aberdeen Thursday. Went for a coffee. I had a free Costa coffee reward on the app, thought I may as well have as large one. Well as you can see it was a bucket of coffee! The mug even had 2 handles to hold it! Couldn't finish it all sitting in so had to ask for a takeaway cup. It took me an hour to get through it lol. Nice though.

I managed a great Gilly-ism the other day. I only managed to book a table in a restaurant that was closed. And not only was it closed but it has been closed for over a year! Of course it wasn't my fault. It was through a booking app - how was I to know? It was a bit disappointing to say the least. And a few hours after the booking time the app sent me an email asking for a review. Ha ha ha

Bella Dave lost a tooth last night. Nothing strange there, she's a Puppy. But it was bleeding bless her. I didn't know they did that. She looked a bit perplexed and managed to shake blood onto the carpet. The joys.

It's 5.05am and I'm sat in the airport waiting for our flight to London. Last minute booking. We have 3 days, 2 nights. Going to a play, The War of the Worlds Experience (super excited), Albert Hall tour (thank you uncle D for idea) and various other tourist things like the Tower! Goodness knows how I'll get on with food but I'm sure I'll cope. It's going to be interesting let's say.

Have a good weekend everyone and see you next week. Same time ish and same place - here! 

To be rich is not what you have in your bank but what you have in your heart.

Not sexy

 Weight today: 13 7

Loss this week: 3lbs

Total loss: 2st 13

Total fat loss: 4%

I usually sleep really well but I noticed the other day that I'd not fallen asleep as readily as normal. Sometimes seeing 1am or 2am and I was really tired waking up for work. Saturday night I did all the things that they tell you to do for good sleep. I didn't look at my phone after 7pm. I changed the sheets, had a hot shower, moisturised all over, used my foot balm, and sprayed my pillowcase with temple spa. I slept well and went to sleep easily. Yay. But then I noticed that the week before I had opened a bottle of wine. Because Mark is on nightshifts I drank it myself. I was only having a small glass each night so the bottle lasted a whole week - the week I didn't sleep! And I hadn't had any alcohol that Saturday night. So (in the name off science) I had a gin Sunday night. Whoa and behold I didn't sleep. Tossed and turned like I'd had caffeine. Now we all know alcohol is a stimulant but I'd never suffered so acutely after such a small amount. Another legacy of my surgery. Alas, this means that I can no long drink booze... In the evening! Afternoon drinking only lol.

I've also had a few dumping episodes that I was describing the other week. I had a small piece of birthday cake at work and that set me off. And I tried a protein rice pudding but that made me feel pretty yuk too. Though I've heard that rice can be one of those tricky things to eat. I think (and I might be wrong) that it has something to do with the glycemic index. 

My new mantra is to eat delicious healthy food with occasional treats. But any treats are just things that I absolutely love. I will not waste calories on the mediocre! 

My new bras are not sexy but my goodness they are comfy. I must have very sloping shoulders because bra straps are constantly falling down - and driving me crazy. These non-wired things are all over social media so I decided (since I needed new anyway) I'd give them a try. And I love them, just fab, and straps are staying put! 

Sometimes I feel like running away, but then I remember how much I hate running! 

Bloods tested

 

Weight today: 13 10

Weight loss this week: 3lbs

Total weight loss: 2st 10lbs

Firstly, I just want to tell my octopus friends how much I love them.

I had my blood tests done but unfortunately one of the vials clotted so I'm back for a repeat today. However, the other came back that I'm high in PTH and the doctor wants to see me. Dr Google told me this was something to do with my thyroid and a possible growth, but when I googled PTH + bariatric surgery it seems it's also linked to low levels of calcium and vitamin D. Now this makes sense because whilst I was prescribed calcium and vitamin D it was a huge tablet, which my bariatric nurse friend told me not to take, under no circumstances for fear of death (no, sorry got that wrong, she just advised me not to take them). So I had to wait to get a chewable version. Which I now have, so hopefully things will right themselves. 

Before surgery I made a list of activities I could partake in on my days off rather than just mindlessly watching TV (and eating biscuits). I don't think I've shared this with you yet but one of things I like to do, but not in years, is jigsaws! I was very excited to open a brand new one which I was given by my sister in law at Christmas. A proper picture, not one of those silly all skies or all sand! Like a normal person I sorted the edges from the middle pieces. I tend to do this looking at the grey underside rather than the picture side (am I still normal?). I had Bella at my feet and life was good. Constructing the edges, which was harder than I anticipated, I noticed Bella chewing! ..... Yes you've guessed it 😡 I must have dropped some pieces and she was busy eating them. No idea how many but by the soggy remains I hoiked out of her mouth looked like at least 4! I wanted to cry. Do I still plod on trying to guess what is missing? Well, obviously. But I'm not a happy jigsaw-doer. Blinking puppies.

I grabbed a pair of old jeans out of the wardrobe this morning, and they fit. No idea when I last wore them but disappointed that I got fatter and they didn't fit me in a while. But they fit me now and at least I'm not buying new yet. 

Friends come and go like waves of the ocean but the true ones stick like an octopus on your face.

Protein

 

Weight this week: 13 13

Weight loss: 3lbs

Total weight loss: 2½ stones

Fat % loss: 1

Everywhere I look it's protein, protein and more protein. This is the advice from every avenue relating to bariatric surgery. They say eat your protein first, then if you can manage your fruit/veg/salad, then if you still have room your carbs. Now this makes sense if someone else is loading my plate, like out in a restaurant but because it's me, I was like just serve protein then?! I was going great guns until I felt I was just eating a plate of chicken or whatever. This didn't feel healthy at all. My plan has always been to cook and eat really good healthy food with the odd treat (yes, chocolate) thrown in to keep me happy. A little bit of balance. Jeez I got sick of protein! Now I'm having healthier foods. Fruit with my yogurt, salad with lunch and veg with dinner. Better! I also have protein isolate to mix with water so I'm drinking protein as well. 

Decided I should post new body pictures. My photo yesterday next to the one before surgery. I can't see a difference but my clothes are definitely slacker. My jeans are almost falling down! Whoop whoop. (I've just looked at the photos below when I added them, and you know, I think I can see a difference after all. That's exciting.)

I gave up looking for a G cup (not my bra size lol) to match my new plates so I just bought a non initialed one. Perfect for tea or coffee. Though obviously Mark hates it (stupid shape with a stupid handle, apparently). Hah! It was only £1.13 so he can go cry into his pillow. 

Yes it's time for a poem. I was out having coffee with friends and we talked about how short line is. And the words to this just came to me as I was driving home. And I do like to share! 

The woman on the Street

I passed a woman on the street

I noticed she began to weep

Excuse me miss why do you cry?

It is because I'm going to die

So sorry, would you like to sit?

I have some time, let's talk a bit

Is it cancer that has made you ill?

I do not ail, I'm healthy still

My death, my dear, it is not nigh

But life I feel has past me by

The reason why I shed these tears

Is realising I've wasted years

I thought I wasn't good enough

My married life was really tough

I should have left him from the start

Been brave and listened to my heart

I tolerated sadness and the pain

I let him hurt me again and again

But now he's gone and its too late

What time I have is down to fate

Child, listen hard to what I say

Persue your happy every day

You're good enough and this is true

Don't waste a moment feeling blue

My yesterday is full of sorrow

But there is joy in your tomorrow.

If you stress about something before it happens you're basically putting yourself through it twice! 

Cold water swim

Weight today: 14 2

Weight loss this week: 2lbs

Total weight loss: 2st 4

I must admit I thought my weight loss would be more impressive but I'm happy that I am losing. My meal sizes are slightly bigger and I'm having 3 now - breakfast, lunch, dinner and maybe one snack in the afternoon. Energy levels are increasing and I'm walking further. All good there.

I've been on hypertension meds for a few years now and my BP has always been a bit high, except last summer when I was walking home from work, if you remember? Well, after surgery at the clinic the nurse was concerned about my reading before being discharged. She gave me IV drugs then measured me again, still very high so put something under my tongue. I got home and saw the BP nurse who advised me to see my GP. GP told me to measure at home, twice, for 7 days. That week my BP just got lower and lower. It was such a shock that I worried something was wrong with me! Doctor was happy and every day since then I've had normal readings! I just can't get used to it. So many 'greens' on my spreadsheet whoop whoop! And I noticed my heart beat getting lower too. Just realised tonight that my fitbit has a graph for HB. And indeed it has been going down. Already, just 6 weeks after the op! It's great.

In Newcastle last weekend I went for a dip in the river Tyne with my sister and daughter. It was just amazing and I loved it. Gotta start doing it more! So many benefits. And you just feel so good afterwards, if a little muddy from the bank! 

I don't know if this is a Gilly-ism or whether I'm a lot crazy but early Thursday morning I had a dream. (Yes I am going to share an abridged synopsis). A couple got together after his brother died. They fell madly in love, very passionate and intense. He was on leave from the army and not in a good place. Her parents insisted she go to uni. At this point my daughter (who was watching this 'movie' with me) said we needed to wait 4 years to find out what happens. But like all good movies/dreams 4 years past in an instant. The boy came back and they were still madly in love. The boy wanted to go off into the sunset but the girl wasn't sure. (I must have realised I was dreaming because I remember really wanting them to stay together and figured I had the control to make it happen, as it was a dream). They got on the bus but she changed her mind and got off. And I just know that he left alone! (So apparently I can't control the endings of my own dreams). Anyway, I woke up absolutely sobbing! I knew I was being silly, they weren't real people, but I was completely bereft! I had to find my husband to tell him what happened, crying so hard all the way. Luckily he's quite used to me so wasn't very surprised. Anyway, it was just a dream! But oh my! Should I be worried? Nah, I'm just Gilly! 

Starting tomorrow, no matter what life throws at me, I'm ducking so that it hits someone else! 

Blue thread

 

Weight today: 14st 4lb

Loss: 1lb

Total loss 2st 2lb

So I discovered a blue thread sticking out of one of my key holes. I had a tiny tug of it but luckily I stopped myself - I had images of the thread unravelling and one of my legs dropping off. It's taking a lot of will power! 

Just a pound loss this week but I have now started on proper food. It was a surprise to me that the nutritionist OKed this, I thought it was soft foods for another couple of weeks, but I'm not complaining. The hardest thing is eating enough protein. I'm aiming for at least 60-80g a day but my meals are so small it's very hard. I need to get some whey isolate to make my water protein too. 

At least I'm a cheap date now. No drinks and just a starter, and that's me done! Mind I did tell Mark that this op would be expensive. When before I used to treat myself to a latte and brownie now it's a manicure or facial! And my grocery bill maybe smaller but I'm hoping in a few months I'll be shopping for new clothes. Whoop. 

I was getting ready the other morning and I popped in my contact lens, for my reading. But I couldn't see very well at all. I thought it might settle so I carried on my business but suddenly had a thought!? I couldn't actually remember taking my lens out the night before - was I now wearing two contact lenses in the same eye? Oh yes I certainly was! No wonder I couldn't see properly. What a narna I am. 

Stop being afraid of what might go wrong, and start being excited of what could go right.

I'm late, I'm late...

Weight today 14st 5lb

Loss this week 4lbs

Total loss 2st 1lbs (decided to ignore the ½lb)

I have a new statistic this week - before surgery the nurse measured by waist, 99.5cms, today it is 104cms. Well I wasn't expecting that!? No idea what to say. My belly was one place I thought I could see loss, but maybe not. Well 104 is a new starting point.

I do have a new plus to share though, I noticed a few days ago that I could sleep on my back without stopping breathing. What a relief. I mean, I don't particularly want to sleep on my back but it's nice to know I can, without suffocating!

I also have a new negative, I feel cold. It's mainly my hands and feet. This is so not like me at all. I'm using moaning about how hot I am. The other night I even took a hot water bottle to bed with me. In the middle of summer! I know the weather hasn't been great recently but still. No idea (again) but there you go. 

Because all my meals will be small I will be eating from small crockery. So I decided to treat myself to some nice side plates just for me, as my new dinner plate. Now I say treat myself lol, they are from Asda so hardly broke the bank, but I love them. And (for the third time) I've no idea why. Alice in Wonderland is not my thing, at all. But I really like them. What is happening to me? Everything is weird. They also do cups/mugs with initials on. They are the shape of tea cups and the size of mugs. I totally loved them but of course no sign of a G. It must be out of fashion. So annoyed. Even though Mark tells me that all the mugs in the house are mine and very 'girly' and he hates them! A bit strong don't you think? Tea tastes of tea no matter what the mugs looks like. Doesn't it? 🤔

No other news this week. I shall be increasing my menu repertoire next week. Very exciting. Thank you for reading, come back next Friday. Have a lovely week. 

The courage it takes to leave what is not for you is the same courage it takes to find what is.

I made a cake for my boys, even though I couldn't eat any. (I did lick my fingers though). And he still complained the mugs were too girly! 

Dumping

 

Weight loss has slowed but I have it on good authority that this is normal. After I'm healed, in about 4 weeks the fat should start to melt away.

Current weight: 14 9

Loss this week: 2lbs

Total loss: 1 11½

I also measured my fat percentage this week - 46% which is horrendous, and yet less than it has been. My highest being 50%. Let's not dwell, onwards and downwards.

Last Friday it was pointed out that maybe the soft foods had possibly been introduced a little prematurely. I tolerated it fine but it could be stretching my stomach, and we don't want that. So I went back to liquids - shakes and yogurt. I've slowly introduced food again in the last couple of days - mash, tuna, beans, cheese. I bought 500g of reduced blueberries and cooked them into a compote. It's delicious with my white chocolate flavoured quark. The amount I'm having at each 'meal' is about 100ml protein shakes or smoothy, or 60g yogurt with a tbsp of compote, or a tbsp of beans with 25g (¼ tin) of tuna with a little grated, melted cheese. It's all good, and these small amounts satisfy me. I eat it just putting the tip of the fork or spoon into the food, wee amounts, but it works.

One of the downsides of gastric surgery is something called dumping syndrome. Dumping syndrome is a group of symptoms, such as diarrhoea, nausea, and feeling light-headed or tired after a meal, that are caused by rapid gastric emptying. Rapid gastric emptying is a condition in which food moves too quickly from your stomach to your duodenum. After gastric surgery, it can be more difficult to regulate movement of food, which dumps too quickly into the small intestine. Eating certain foods makes dumping syndrome more likely. For example, refined sugars rapidly absorb water from the body, causing symptoms. Symptoms may also happen after eating dairy products and certain fats or fried foods. I think I experienced a little episode last week eating coconut yogurt. I needed to stop eating just a couple of spoons before I did, but it was so tasty and you think a tiny extra amount won't harm, but my body wasn't happy. 

O worksn my day off I decided to sort and clean our bedroom. Everything came out that was under the bed so Mark could hoover. When I get a book I put it beside my bed, in a 'queue' waiting to be read. The pile got bigger and half the books slowly went under the bed. I decided it was time to find a home for this queue, luckily Isaac's old bookcase had an empty bottom shelf (see picture). There were/are 28 books waiting for me to read! Goodness me. Hooray that I love reading! 

Would you like to see my healing holes? See below.

You can borrow my belief in you until you can find yours again.

Mashed/puréed

 

I forgot to include my stats last week - the most important thing probably...

A quick recap. Starting weight 16st 6½lbs, weight before surgery (after LRD) 15st 8lbs. Today's weight 14st 11lbs. Total loss 1st 9½ lbs. So far the LRD is winning lol. Typical

So another important rule (in my opinion the hardest) is no drinking 30 minutes before food, no drinking 30 minutes after food and definitely no drinking with food. Now I've moved to soft/pureed I'm having 6 small (tiny) meals a day, and I need to eat slowly and take 30 minutes to eat each tiny meal. So (quick maths) that's 1½ hours per meal x6 is 9 hours for eating! Then I need to get at least 1½ litres of fluid in, sipping, very slowly. There's just not enough hours in the day. I feel I'm constantly putting something in my mouth. And it's no longer chocolate! 

Currently having very exciting food (well compared to plain yogurt and protein shakes). Mashed potatoes, mashed beans, low fat cheese, egg, tuna, smoothies - but not all at the same time, but good to mix and match. Sometimes potato with beans or potato and tuna, or beans and tuna or egg and beans, all with or without a little cheese. Oh the joys. And I've discovered a great low fat, low sugar, high protein yogurt that's not even a yogurt. It's quark! White chocolate flavour is delicious. It's got a funny name but it's so good.

So we bought Bella a foraging mat. It has lots of fabric 'leaves', see picture, that you hide treats in and she has to find them. She was loving it but half way through she realised she could grab the corner with her teeth, lift it up and shake her head - and all the treats just fall out! I'm so proud that she figured that out, and so quickly, and yet so disappointed that she cheated! 

Well we've had our longest day. The nights are fair drawin in. Lol

Mistakes are made for moving on.