Discombobulated

 

Weight: 12st 5lb

Loss this week: 1lb

Total loss: 4st 1lb

Last week the weight just fell off me, not so this week. It's been colder so maybe that's it. I've eaten for comfort (chocolate) and bad habits (chocolate) and to treat myself (chocolate). Not good. 

Last weekend I was out for brunch with friends (see picture). I couldn't manage a big fry up so had the waffles (a treat). The raspberries were so amazing. After managing half a waffle my Tupperware came out so I could take the rest home. I think I noticed some raised eyebrows but I didn't let it bother me and I'll tell you why. Like most people I hate food waste, but it wasn't really this. Because I eat so little now I have to be careful not to over eat. If I wasn't taking my left overs home I know that I would just try to have a couple of mouthfuls more, and then end up feeling very sick. But when I know I'll be taking the rest home I can happily stop eating when I need to. I've spent a long time eating too much so being able to stop eating when there is still so much on my plate is very important, physically and mentally. I paid for it so hey. (And waffles are something I have rarely and wanted to enjoy them later - which I only managed a few bites of, then they were composted).

Photos were taken that morning and sent on what's app or posted onto Facebook. But looking at myself in them upset me. I looked like I did before my surgery. I couldn't see any weight loss and I looked as fat as always! I mean I know I've lost over 50lbs but it was not visible in these pictures. Hence feeling discombobulated. The week before I was euphoric with joy and felt so much slimmer and suddenly, like a slap in the face, I was (in my head) 16½ stones again! So confusing and left me feeling weird all this week. And probably contributed to the chocolate consumption. An excuse? Maybe. Never the less true.

Breakfast at Wetherspoons yesterday with Mark. I had eggs Benedict. Managed most of one egg and some ham (muffin ignored) and didn't even touch the second Benedict. However, poached egg is not something that you can take home for later! I was good and did manage to stop myself having that little too much. See, I'm learning... Just about. It's still awful leaving food though. Especially in this economic environment. I can't help it.

Someone said '20 years ago' and I thought oh yes, 1980s - but they meant 2003! Yikes.