Countdown

 

So my weight this morning is 15st 8½. Should be the last time I see that. And this is the way I look ... Not for long though. I've lost 12lbs in 1½ weeks. Wow! 

My week? Has been mental. Firstly let's go back to the menopause. Quick recap - no period 12 months (yay the menopause), new HRT, evil monster, ditch new HRT after 2 weeks, horrible period (ok I get this). Then this week I had another period. So what, I'm now back to peri-menopausal? And boy, did it come with a big dose of PMT! Just rotten. I was weepy and miserable and paranoid. Luckily, feeling better now.

Secondly, I'm having major surgery in 3 days, yikes! It really is going to happen. My life is just about to change forever. FOREVER! 

This week the diet has been ok. Monday I didn't even eat my full quota. Wednesday I was a bit fed up of it. What? Salad again? Save me from the salad! Grocery shopping yesterday and I really, really wanted to buy some yummy biscuits. And I mean I really wanted some. I figured one biscuit would not be the end of the world right? And I honestly don't think it would have been a massive deal. But I still didn't buy any. Something inside just stopped me. The old Gilly was fighting the new, and the new Gilly won. I bought some delicious raspberries instead. Now I'm not saying everything will be perfect. I'm going to fall down the rabbit hole on occasions. I wouldn't be human (or fat) if I didn't. The difference will be that this tool, this enormous thing I'm undertaking, will help me climb back out again. Bring it on!

So I leave home Saturday to get the train to Edinburgh. I fly to Latvia 8am Sunday, landing at 12:40. I will be collected and taken to the hotel. Monday I'm taken to the clinic. I'll have my pre op and then later my surgery. And I fly back to Aberdeen via Amsterdam on Wednesday. Getting in quite late. I'll then probably sleep all day Thursday. Bingo. 

I thought it was time for another poem. I hope you like it.

Healthy is an outfit that looks different on everybody.

Does our weight define us

It's something we all carry

For most it's not considered

But for me it is my quarry

I see it in the mirror

And hide it right away

Something I must tackle

But maybe another day

Your weight is on your body

Mine is mostly in my head

I'm not saying it's imaginary

But in my mind it has imbed 

Stepping onto scales

Is what I dearly hate

A constant harsh reminder

Of what went on my plate

I can't just go cold turkey

And decide I will not eat

Food is part of life no less

It keeps my heart a-beat

Obesity they call it

I like to call it fat

Eat less and move more

You'll lose it just like that!

Being fat is all consuming

Something I can't ignore

I feel so melancholic

My figure I do abhor

That day is now upon me

My weight I will now tackle

I'm worn out and fed up 

My size is such a battle

I've given up on diets

They are evil I believe

Instead I'm off to Latvia

To have a gastric sleeve