Good bad and ugly

 

Good - I've lost 2lbs this week. Well into the 10s (10st 11lb) just in time for me to go on holiday and put weight on. How much? I can't predict. Last one I think it was just 1lb which would be great but I'm not holding my breath.

Bad - I thought I'd try my wedding dress on! But alas it's too tight. I can't fasten the bodice at all. But hey ho closer to fit than I was! It's also filthy. I've obviously spilt something down my front, and the hem is all muckit. I remember putting it away 25 years ago thinking I won't bother taking it to be dry cleaned as I'll never ever wear it again. But it's such a lovely dress that I feel compelled to get it cleaned now. Even if I can't wear it to do the housework in. 

Ugly - my loose skin is definitely getting worse. Always going to be a side effect of this weight loss, but it's not pretty. Next week I'll post a picture in my bikini and you'll see it in all it's glory. Obviously I can have cosmetic surgery but I'll need to save my pennies. We'll just have to wait and see. Lots to weigh up (no pun intended).

Mark's family surprised us with a wee party when we popped over to see Mark's cousin who was visiting. It threw me because my anniversary seemed so far in the future. There were balloons and a cake (made by my MiL - see pic) and the family gave us a very generous voucher for Ardoe House. Which is where I am now (depending on what time you're reading this). Something to look forward to after the holiday. 

It's been so lovely getting cards, gifts and messages. Everyone is so kind. It feels really nice to celebrate 25 years. I've posted a couple of pictures below from our wedding day. Boy we look so young! Lol. 

Have a smashing week and take care everyone xx

None of us sit high enough to look down on anybody. 

China

 

All week I've bobbed between 11st and 10st 13lb! So infuriating. I mean it's only one little pound but it's a huge chasm in my mentality. 

My diet needs to improve. Don't mistake this for being 'on a diet'. I won't be restricting or banning any foods. But I must eat more fruit and veg. The rainbow they say. 30 different ones every week. Some time ago I tried to have different plant foods daily but it's very hard. Who goes to the supermarket to buy one apply, one orange, a serving of grapes, half a banana, a handful of raspberries? You don't. So a punnet of raspberries lasts me a few days. Same with a melon or a cauliflower. I need to get better though. Healthy is good. 

This time next week we'll have started our journey to Antigua. Mark and I are going to celebrate our silver wedding anniversary over there. On Thursday we'll be staying at Ardoe House which is where we were married. Then Friday we fly to Heathrow from Aberdeen. Then to Antigua on Saturday. I'll be doing my usual - creating a what's app group for my holiday photos. If you want to be included just message me. Remember, it's an open forum for anyone to post messages, not just me. It's just a bit of fun and reminiscent of the olden days when you had printed pics that did the rounds lol. 

I checked my blog from last September when we were in Grenada. I've lost 2 stones since then, which really surprised me. I need to try on my holiday dresses - maybe they'll be too big for me now! Whoop whoop. 

I've always liked tea served in a china cup but don't usually do it, until now. I've realised that it really enhances the flavour of the tea. And I just adore it. Mark would strongly disagree, as would many others I guess. He likes a big, proper mug and would not be happy with a tea cup. This is my grandma's tea set, she died just before our wedding. This china has been in my sideboard all this time, but now I'm using it and it brings me such joy. 

Your spirit is easy to break, but not impossible to repair.

Just a feeling

 

I'm going to put aside mental health issues like depression and anxiety etc, which I have dealt with on occasions, as today I'm just talking about mood. We all have really good days and really bad days and just ok days, every day. However, I wanted to share with you the effect my weight loss has had on my general demeanor. I've developed this kind of happiness in the pit of my tummy, often feels like butterflies (we all have butterflies don't we?). It's like a warmth that I carry around with me all the time. I bought some jeans and a dress in the sales. Size 14. And they both just fit me, they just fit and look great. This gave me the butterflies a plenty! I thought I looked better than what I saw in the photo above, but I've began to realise that photos will always do this. How many diets have started after looking at a photo? Mark has definitely noticed this happiness that I radiate, as he spends the most time with me of course. I don't know if anyone else can see it. Don't be misled though - I can still have bad days too...

...I felt a little low the other day and my lovely work mate asked me how I was, as she does every day. My initial reaction was to say 'I'm good thank you' though this wasn't really true. Obviously when she asked me how I was she was really saying Good Morning and when I replied that I was good I was saying Good Morning back. We had a little conversation about this dance that people do all the time. I shared that actually my answer to the question was that I wasn't great that day, but I wasn't really being asked (though I also knew I was safe to be truthful). I was given a bosey (a Scottish hug) and the day continued, me feeling that bit better. And everyday she asks 'how are you?' (aka Good morning) and I reply 'good thanks, how's you?' (aka Good morning back) but we both now have a twinkle in our eye lol.

It is sad that it was weight loss that gave me the joy. We should all feel this content-ness regardless of our size and shape. Happiness is a right! We are entitled to feel this emotion every day and I hope you guys reading this experience this emotion in your life. Hey, maybe this blog gives you happiness for 5 minutes every Friday morning - that would be nice. But, for me, being over weight made me carry an unhappiness on my shoulders in spite of periods of joy. I mean I wasn't (I don't think anyway??) a miserable cow all the time but I was under an Eeyore cloud even when I was smiling. I love that I now live under a blue sky, even though I still have rainy days! If you don't live under a sunny sky please take a minute to think about what will give you joy. What changes, big, huge, tiny, small can you make? The 5 minutes of joy you've just had reading this is now over, you've come to the end lol. But what now? Find your sunny sky. Because happiness is a god given right! 

Joy is not in things, it is in us.

PS I hit the 10 stones on Sunday, oh the excitement but I was back to 11 the next day! Stayed at 11 all week... Until this morning. 10st 13lb. But I'm not celebrating until I know I'm not going back. Need a few pounds off to feel safer

Joy

 

I'm so close to being in the 10 stones. I need to weigh myself this morning to confirm but I'm nervous, and procrastinating.

In other news, my trip to Newcastle was just the tonic. I met friends on Friday afternoon, after our long drive, for coffee in my mum's village. 4 hours later I was drunk as a skunk. How? Well the coffee shop sold alcohol and celebrating with friends that I hadn't seen since before Christmas lent itself to a glass bottle of prosecco, then another, then a stop at the local micro pub lol. At just 6.30pm Ellie went straight to bed then I was shipped, by my sister, to the chippie for fish suppers on this glorious Good Friday! The following day, out with the same gang for coffee (this time it was just coffee... And cake), the driver regaled us on our enebriated conversations from the afternoon before - I remembered very little. Asking my sister later if she noticed I was drunk she told me she'd asked for mushy peas at the chippie (you did?) then again at the co-op (we stopped for wine) and I announced that they don't sell mushy peas - hum, they do in tins! But I failed again, so maybe just a little bit tipsy? What a great, and unexpected, way to celebrate Easter. The rest of the weekend was spent with other mates (was it really before COVID that I last saw you?) and family. Heaven with added chocolate!

Bella Dave Boobies went back to the vet for puppy checks and the vet suggested we take her to gun dog training! That's exciting but daunting. She needs something because her excitement is off the scale. But specialist training, with other really well behaved dogs? Yowzer!

My jury citation this week came to nothing. No court attendance needed. A bit gutted. I thought it'd be fun, but I was not required. Hey ho.

In exciting news I was called skinny by a work colleague this week! Like I'm not skinny but for someone to describe me with that adjective was lovely. And she meant it too. Filled my heart with joy. Made it all worth while - that and the fact I can bend over and touch the floor! 

If you want you fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.

PS. I'm exactly 11 stones! Oh my. Next week (maybe even tomorrow lol).