I'm going to put aside mental health issues like depression and anxiety etc, which I have dealt with on occasions, as today I'm just talking about mood. We all have really good days and really bad days and just ok days, every day. However, I wanted to share with you the effect my weight loss has had on my general demeanor. I've developed this kind of happiness in the pit of my tummy, often feels like butterflies (we all have butterflies don't we?). It's like a warmth that I carry around with me all the time. I bought some jeans and a dress in the sales. Size 14. And they both just fit me, they just fit and look great. This gave me the butterflies a plenty! I thought I looked better than what I saw in the photo above, but I've began to realise that photos will always do this. How many diets have started after looking at a photo? Mark has definitely noticed this happiness that I radiate, as he spends the most time with me of course. I don't know if anyone else can see it. Don't be misled though - I can still have bad days too...
...I felt a little low the other day and my lovely work mate asked me how I was, as she does every day. My initial reaction was to say 'I'm good thank you' though this wasn't really true. Obviously when she asked me how I was she was really saying Good Morning and when I replied that I was good I was saying Good Morning back. We had a little conversation about this dance that people do all the time. I shared that actually my answer to the question was that I wasn't great that day, but I wasn't really being asked (though I also knew I was safe to be truthful). I was given a bosey (a Scottish hug) and the day continued, me feeling that bit better. And everyday she asks 'how are you?' (aka Good morning) and I reply 'good thanks, how's you?' (aka Good morning back) but we both now have a twinkle in our eye lol.
It is sad that it was weight loss that gave me the joy. We should all feel this content-ness regardless of our size and shape. Happiness is a right! We are entitled to feel this emotion every day and I hope you guys reading this experience this emotion in your life. Hey, maybe this blog gives you happiness for 5 minutes every Friday morning - that would be nice. But, for me, being over weight made me carry an unhappiness on my shoulders in spite of periods of joy. I mean I wasn't (I don't think anyway??) a miserable cow all the time but I was under an Eeyore cloud even when I was smiling. I love that I now live under a blue sky, even though I still have rainy days! If you don't live under a sunny sky please take a minute to think about what will give you joy. What changes, big, huge, tiny, small can you make? The 5 minutes of joy you've just had reading this is now over, you've come to the end lol. But what now? Find your sunny sky. Because happiness is a god given right!
Joy is not in things, it is in us.
PS I hit the 10 stones on Sunday, oh the excitement but I was back to 11 the next day! Stayed at 11 all week... Until this morning. 10st 13lb. But I'm not celebrating until I know I'm not going back. Need a few pounds off to feel safer
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