Am I a psychopath?

 

So the very next day after revealing my face covered in sweet chilli sauce, I went to work with a big blob of marshmallow right on the end of my nose. Obviously I didn't know this. And it was nearly 4 hours before someone told me! When I looked in the mirror I looked like a frozen Rudolph. When I got home and told Mark he laughed so hard he cried. He reckons that all my work mates were giggling behind my back. Anyway it's about time they all know how messy I am. 

For Christmas I got Mark a book called 'Are you a Psychopath?'. One of the very first traits it mentions is hanging the toilet paper facing down the back. I do this (as does my mom and sisters) and therefore he has declared me a psychopath. Alas, there are more -

- I keep the ketchup in the fridge

- I fold down the page corners in books, even books I don't own

- if I want a bit of cheese I chop a corner rather than a slice

- I don't finish my tea, but then want another one

- I don't make my bed (but we've talked about this at length, I like the bed to breathe) 

- I happily drink orange juice after brushing my teeth

- I rarely eat cereal but if I do I can eat it dry (butter spread on a Weetabix is delicious) 

- I like cheesy life quotes (one at the end of every blog each week lol) 

- I love a ham and pineapple pizza (come on, I'm not the only one!)

 - I bite into ice lollies. 

Now that might seem a lengthy list but there's lots mentioned that I don't do; wear odd socks, put empty bottles of milk back in the fridge, I never drive a car in silence (always play music). I'm betting that everyone reading the book could declare themselves a psychopath. Of course I'm not admitting chopping up my ex-husband! 

This week's blog is number 430! I've been writing every week for over 8 years. Congratulations to everyone who has been here from the start. I can't believe I still have stuff to prattle on about. Lots of dieting posts and dog posts and the rest is just Gilly nonsense. Readers have come and gone and that's ok. One day it'll be my last, but not this week. Thank you for reading and have a good day! 

My photo this week I took from Facebook. It looks very old, and she's holding my doll! He's called Jack (see below). He's as old as me so I guess that's very old. 😂😂

Happiness is not about getting what you want, it's about enjoying what you have.

Black runs

We've had a mini break back at The Hideaways near Dundee. One of our favourite places just to chill out and relax. Our first morning we took Bella for a walk at a nearby country park. There's various routes and we follow one of the paths. Uphill all the way until we reached the summit. Great view and though I'm not super fit I managed it well. Continuing along the path we kind of came to a dead end. I suggested we just go back the way we had come but Mark was sure there must be a loop back to the bottom. He finds a way through the bushes and grass that he tries but it just led to a steep cliff. Let's just go the way we came I suggest. We get back to the original path when he finds another gap in the grass. It's not a path but has had human feet down it. But alas it leads no where. Please let's just follow the path down. Ok he says while opening the All Trails app. Our path is a blue trail he announces, and there's a black trail which will cut off a big corner, straight to the carpark. So he finds the black track. It's a little like a path but whereas the original was about 10 foot wide this black one is a foot wide, if that. Pushing past nettles and brambles is not fun. I also realised that, like ski runs a black is much steeper than a blue. And yes, it did cut a big chunk off (and the clouds threatened rain) but it was very steep.... but we got there in one piece! 

Back at the Hideaways we jumped into the hot tub and all was forgiven. I still think we could have just gone down the way we had come up, but hey, I'm not an annoying boy who thrives on adventure. 

Eating lunch (sweet chilli chicken) Mark looks at me funny, gets his phone and takes my picture. I have chilli sauce on my chin and forehead. He's in awe of my skill at making a mess. The photo, he insists, is for my blog - see above! 

We're back home now and life goes on as it does. 

Life is like a camera; focus on the good times, develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, take another shot. 

Quick snaps

 

A quick update. 

Weight now 10st 10lb. Mostly due to a lot of poo production. i.e. an unhappy tummy

With regard to losing more weight dilemma of last week, I think it's important to hold on to some extra fat in case of an emergency. This is a real thing and not an excuse. If I were to be chronically ill I will benefit from a little cushioning. 

My autism course is going well - Mark is autistic, definitely. And you can't say that everyone is on the spectrum. Only autistic people are on the autism spectrum. 

Hubby just finished 20 nightshifts. This is/was dangerous because if he's not busy on a nightshift he shops. Long story short. . ..a robot vac was delivered this week! 

I treat myself to a gorgeous silk dress from M&S (more than half price) with my first pension payment. 

Also, this lovely silk nightie (see pic).

I thought it was called the menopause but there's another name for my ailment - 'lethologica' - the inability to remember a particular word or name.

Bella's already put a small tear in my silk nightie! Argh

Robovac is actually pretty cool. It washes the kitchen floor as well as hoovers.

He's now making noises about a robot mower. Oh my! 

Love is.... How excited your dog gets when you arrive home.

Wood and trees

 

I've been thinking about today's blog for a couple of days. Firstly, my weight has gone down to 10st 11lbs. But should it be 9st 11lbs? I'm wearing a size 12/14 but should I be in 10/12? My BMI is currently 26.7 which is overweight, should it be under 25 so that it's in the normal range? 

I look in the mirror and I think I look really good. The change between before and after is amazing (in my eyes) but am I blind to how I actually really look now? Hence, I can't see the woods for the trees. Some days I see all the fatty, flabby bits and I feel like an overweight person. When I look at some photos I don't look as slim as I do in my head. Why do photos do this? I'm not alone here. 

Initially, my plan was to ask my readers. What do you honestly think? Is my weight loss enough? Have I really done ok or sold myself short? My op was expensive - should I make it work harder? Then I decided that was a stupid idea! 

A. Most of you might be reluctant to tell me what you think in case you offend me. It's human nature (for the majority) to be polite. We are British after all.

B. Those that are happy to be brutal will have lots of differing opinions ...

C. Some thought I was lovely just as I was and didn't need to lose any weight in the first place.

D. Some will just be happy that I've lost over 5½ stones and that I'm healthier and happier. 

E. Some will see that I'm still a size 14, at the top end of 10 stones with an overweight BMI, and yes, I need to do better.

Thus, I've decided to thank you for your opinion but don't bother to share as it is just your own opinion. Everyone is free to have thoughts and I encourage this but letting me know won't help me. For every person that says stop you've done well there will be another saying you should make the most of your tiny tummy and get down to a BMI of 21! I guess I need to do what is best for me. Thank you for listening. 

How weird is this? Last week I was waffling about grammar and apostrophes, also effect and affect - and yesterday I started a course about autism. One of the learning extras was hints and tips about English and it explained apostrophes (also commas, colons and semi colons etc) and the difference between similar words including affect and effect (also practice and practise and lots of others). I was super excited because I bought a book about grammar last year but when I tried to read it it simply bamboozled me. So complicated. But this was really clear and simply and I learnt loads! Though I haven't implemented it in this blog. Lol. 

Have a great week and I'll see you next Friday. 

Sometimes you need to let go of the life you thought you'd be living, and enjoy the story that you are in.

I forgot

 

I got a message from my mum asking where my blog was. First time ever that I forgot! 

Now, I haven't had therapy or counselling but I have lost weight and I've aged. I've been looking in the mirror more, literally and figuratively. Literally because I like what I see and figuratively because I'm getting older! I don't like what I've been seeing on the inside. It's probably something I've always known and I bet everyone that knows me won't be surprised by this but I'm rather critical! Big news! I'm trying hard not to be, live and let live and all that. I would definitely describe myself as someone who doesn't suffer fools gladly. It's always driven crazy when people say stupid things (even though I myself have said idiotic things - just ask Mark, he'll give you a list). I get frustrated when people get their spellings or grammar wrong (even though I don't know all the grammar rules. Apostrophe anyone?). Going forward I'm doing my very best not to let other people's ignorance affect me (or is it effect? See, I'm not perfect). Maybe I might laugh if it's with someone not at someone (I only laugh at someone in private). Why am I like this? Mum do you know? No one is perfect and not everyone is academic, and everyone has their strengths even if it's just common sense or a great sense of direction - I lack both. 

My weight has still not moved. My body has reached it's settled point. I've been to see the nurse this morning and my BP is great and I might be able to come off the meds. Whoop. My diet is pretty healthy but I must try harder to eat less chocolate and biscuits etc. A biscuit in the morning with my cuppa is fine but not 4 biscuits throughout the day! I adore chocolate and want it all day and I'm not giving it up but I must cut down. I also don't dr ink enough (water I mean, alcohol I probably have too much). 

Ellie has finished her dissertation and that's the masters degree complete! We celebrated last night (this will be why I forgot my blog). I'll let you know her grades when she gets them. I'm super proud of her. She did it whilst working full time! Go girl. 

PS normally I'd Google the difference between affect and effect but I'm trying to relax my perfectivity lol.

I finally found my rhythm when I realised that even backward steps are part of the dance.