So after our lovely little chat about poo last week it has completely dominated my life this week! It started on Sunday after I'd eaten this rather lovely roast dinner (I was so pleased with myself because since I've been all alone (sob sob) I tend not to cook for myself and eat bowls of cereal instead (sush, don't tell my husband or children)) and within 30 minutes I was in agony (no! Nothing wrong with my cooking, cheeky cow). I spent an hour on the loo and the sweat was pouring from me (like a fat man in a sauna). I then spent another hour lying naked on the cold tiles of the downstairs toilet* (I kid you not). So I went through most types of poop (see chart last week) but mainly types 6 & 7 (chocolate mousse & chocolate milkshake). This went on all night. I went to work on Monday only to be frog marched out of the building by security wearing hazmats! Tuesday I had to go for a pre-assessment for my procedure (more about that later). It was a thought driving 30+ miles, and I planned toilet stops for the whole journey - luckily I needed none! I wanted to get there early as parking is a nightmare. I got there 10 mins early, so not great but do-able. Waited patiently for a space. Spotted a women go to her car, so I reversed to be next to space, indicator on, just started pulling in when a dick tried to get in behind me. I was in no mood for this and words were exchanged (yes, lots of swearing) but I won. Idiot!!!
So, my pre-assessment? She asked me general health questions, one being 'have you had sickness or diarrhoea recently' to which I replied 'yes, right now in fact'. Well this flumoxed her - first time someone had said yes ha ha ha. Anyway we have put a sample to the lab. She also did an ECG 'very nice' said the doctor, and she took bloods (this is another story but I think I've written enough this week).
This gastric balloon? Something is bothering me (and not just the initial vomiting as my body tries desperately to get rid of it) but the expected weight loss. From what they've said thus far is that I'm probably going to lose 15% of my weight, within this 12 month period and most of that will be in the first 3-4 months. That's 2 stones! Nothing wrong with 2 stones per se but I need to lose 5 stones! Now I know me, if I go through a year of having this thing in me I need to lose more like 4 stone. They'll remove it, and I'll be hungry and go 'bloody Nora I now need to lose another 3 stone, by myself! I'll be pissed and it'll all go pear shaped (and not just my bum). I don't understand!! If I can lose 2 stones in the first few months why do I not continue to lose weight for the next 8? If I'm restricted in how much I eat, eat healthy and on reduced calories!!? Why can't I lose more? Let's face it I could lose 2 stones myself in a year. My problem is that I need to lose 5 stones! This feels like a mountain and I get disheartened. Anyway, I see the dietician next week and I will be finding out for sure. If I can lose say 4 stones then let's do it. 2 stones? I don't think it's a good idea. I'll let you know.
Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.
* My dog normally escorts me to the loo but she must have known something wasn't right. She sat outside the door the whole time. She popped her head around the door a few times, as if to say 'You ok? I'm here if you need me'. Aw bless her!
P.S. a plus point of a tummy bug is that I've lost the 7lb holiday gain! Whoop!!
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