I love me, who do you love?

You can imagine what it was like taking that photo. 'No, I look fat!' - well I'm not going to look like a size 8 model with my thighs, no matter how many pictures were taken!! I mean, I suppose I maybe should have at least combed my hair and put on mascara? But I knew you'd prefer au naturale  lol.

So this trying to love oneself is tricky. I've been reading and investigating and working out how to do it. This is what I've heard is recommended.

1. Look at your naked body in the mirror for 20 minutes.

So...fat thighs, fat arse, fat tummy, ok tits, nice shoulders, chubby face. Right, bored now, seen it, let's move on....Next!!

2. Say an affirmation 3 times every day.

I picked 'I am gorgeous, I'm good enough'. But can I say this out loud? No ha ha not without laughing. Just feel ridiculous. I mean really? It's lying, it's not what I think or feel. Of course this is why I'm doing this in the first place.

3. Keep a journal.

Well I kind of do, with this blog. But I think the journal idea is to be completely honest. And whilst this blog is absolutely honest - I don't tell you everything! I need my secrets!! Like where all my chocolate is hidden.

4. Do things you love.

I have spent time on this one. Partly trying to figure out what it is I love. Some of the things I think I love I've discovered I don't really. e.g. Watching tv. We all love a bit of TV but the danger is just watching crap for the sake of it. I love watching a really fantastic programme, great but lots of my tv is crap. Also some of the things I love to do needs another person. (Get your head out the gutter, I don't mean that lol). I love playing badminton but playing by yourself is tricky. No matter how hard I try I can't run round the other side of the net in time to return the shuttlecock!!

5. Never call yourself names.

If I call myself fat am I calling myself names or just being honest?

6. Get rid of negativity.

I am very cynical and lack self esteem. I'm amazed when people pay me compliments. I tend to think they are just being sweet or kind and to a certain extent, feeling sorry for me. Like the runt of the litter 'ooh he's so cute and sweet'. I was at my husband's long service dinner with his work. All dressed up etc. I got a lot of compliments from people I didn't know, like how pretty and stunning I was. But all I could think was if it was, say, Gwyneth Paltrow would they still be so willing with the nice remarks. In my head they really meant 'For a fat lass you scrub up ok'!

Obviously this loving myself still needs some work. Onwards and upwards. I will no longer put my life on hold waiting to be perfect!!

You're always with yourself so you may as well enjoy the company.