My diet

I wrote this blog and went to add the photo. I hit the wrong button and I lost all the text! So this is me writing it again. I bet it's not as funny as the first edit 😢 

So my weight loss? I put on 3lb on holiday but I've lost it this week so that's good - hooray! I'm now 14st 9lb which is 2lb heavier than June but 10lb lighter than March when I started. I've been having lots of thoughts about my diet this week.

Firstly, I watched the Freddie Flintoff programme about his bulimia. It was very interesting and I could relate to a lot he was saying. Like how he feels when he looks in the mirror, looks at a photo or puts on his clothes. The guilt he feels when he eats. I found Freddie to be a little in denial about the potential consequences of this eating disorder. He needed to exercise, a lot, to compensate his eating, and of course he purged. I don't make myself sick (I detest being sick) and I don't have an eating disorder, or do I? I like healthy food but I'm drawn (compelled) to eat the 'naughty' stuff. I eat too much. I eat the wrong things too often and I feel bad about eating. On occasions I also binge. All of this is not exactly normal. But it can also go too far the other way. There is an eating disorder where someone is obsessed with only eating healthy food which is still a control thing. It's called orthorexia. I like being healthy but....

.... Let's face it I'm never going to be that person that jumps out of bed raring to go to the gym, or a 5 mile run, or that spinning class. I used to go to circuits twice a week at 6.30am for months! Often alone. I enjoyed it (when it was over) but it was always a struggle to go. I will always be that person that wants a pudding instead of a starter. To want that extra chocolate or piece of crusty bread with lots of butter. It will always be a challenge for me to watch what I eat, to resist my eating (either in the amount or the choices) and to do exercise! It makes me sad and confused that I'll spend the rest of my life (hopefully many years) fighting with myself. I don't want to be fat or unfit but the getting there, and staying there, is like pushing water uphill. Help! 

I washed all Libby's toys and hung them out to dry! She was successful in grabbing one off the line (picture below) cheeky monkey!

Be nice to strangers. They are just friends that you haven't met.