Oxymoron

After watching a programme on TV Wednesday it reminded me that I have recently been considering trying to be a life drawing model. Is this because I think I'm gorgeous? - definitely not! Is this because I want strangers to see me naked? - definitely not! Is it because I think I have a naked body that should be uncovered? - most definitely not! So why? Partly because I've always enjoyed drawing but mainly as I think it will be liberating. I'm not particularly shy when it comes to how I look in the buff and I always wear a bikini on the beach and strut around without a care in the world and yet...I actually think my body is pretty unattractive. I don't think that anyone would take pleasure from seeing me in my birthday suit. I think my curves and lumps & bumps makes it interesting for the person with a pencil in their hand but why am I even contemplating this? And would I actually be brave enough to do it? I don't even think you get paid much. I find this particular thought of mine to be very strange and contradictory. Is it my age?

When I was in Edinburgh the other week we went to a comedy club. Now I do fancy myself as being a little bit of a comedian. I try to humour you in my blog - most of the time. Successfully? You tell me lol. I was fascinated by how these people stood up on stage and made us laugh - some very well. Of course they are amateurs, and the nerves were palatable, and they all had reminders of their act written down (on their hand, on wee notes, on big notes - they don't just make it up on the spot). So I did what Gilly does (no!! I didn't get up on stage) and that's to start writing my act in my head. (I write my poems like this. And you won't believe how many novels are in there too). I decided to share it with you...

I'm very nervous. I've never stood in front of strangers on a stage and tried to make them laugh. In fact I've never even stood in front of my family and tried to make them laugh. Although, if I stand naked in front of my husband he always laughs!

Boom boom!! Nah, a comedian is maybe pushing it.

My diet? Yes I've thought about it lots and lots!

If you want to lift yourself up, lift someone else up.